


AU One Shots

by NukeRose



Category: The Fosters (TV 2013)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-15
Updated: 2016-11-08
Packaged: 2018-05-14 01:18:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 45,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5724100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NukeRose/pseuds/NukeRose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of AU one shots starring Jonnor and more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Alternate Tent Scene

Connor's POV:

I have been looking forward to this camping trip since it was announced. It was the perfect chance to hang out with Jude without my stupid dad getting in the way. Not being as close to Jude as I used to be really hurts, and every time I think about this whole situation I can't help but feel like I'm simultaneously about to cry, and try to kill my idiot dad.

Turns out, even without him here, he still ruins everything because Jude has been really awkward the entire time. Every time we touch, he clams up and barely speaks for a whole hour. It's my dad's fault, and I'm about at the end of my rope.

"Tonight," I promised myself, "Tonight things will change."

It's the third night of the four night trip, and Jude and I were sitting on opposite sides of the tent, reading comic books. Every couple of seconds my gaze would flick up to survey my best friend as he sat on his sleeping bag, reading a copy of the newest issue of the Walking Dead.

I had insisted that Jude and I share a tent. Jude had warned me, multiple times on the bus on the way to the campgrounds, that it was a bad idea, but I was persistent and eventually he gave in. The first day of the camping trip, we swam or most of the day. The second day, we swam some more, and hiked for a while in the woods. The whole time, Jude acted a little distant with me.

It hurt. A lot. But it was nothing I didn't deserve. It seemed to me like the only thing I'd done since becoming friends with him was fucked stuff up.

"Jude?"

He didn't look up.

"Jude?" I said a little louder.

"What, Connor?" He said, sounding a little testy.

I sighed and got up from my spot and walked over to him, plopping down next to him.

"You're still mad at me aren't you?" I asked.

He sighed and finally raise his head from his comic and made eye contact with me.

"No. Not really." He said.

I slid closer, now sitting with our knees touching.

"Am I a bad friend?" I asked meekly.

Jude looked at me like I'd grown an extra head.

"No, Connor. Why would you even ask that? You're a great friend." He assured me, but he still sounded annoyed with me.

I sighed, just barely able to keep the tears at bay.

"I'm sorry, Jude." I said.

He looked at me, his brow furrowed in confusion.

"For what?"

"My dad. How he's been lately." I said bitterly, with a large sprinkling of anger, "You gotta know that if I could change anything, I would. I miss how things used to be. I missing coming over to play games, staying the night. But because my dad saw you pat me on the back at the batting cages, your automatically gay, and I can't hang out with you anymore. I don't care if you're gay, he shouldn't either."

"I don't really know what I am." Jude admitted with a sigh, "I've never thought about it before."

"Why not?" I asked.

"Foster care. Too busy surviving to think about it." He said.

"My dad has no right to try and label you anything." I said, starting to get furious.

"It's okay..." Jude started to say, but I interrupted him.

After months of keeping everything bottle up, and keeping everything

"THE HELL IT IS! I've missed you so much lately, and it's all his fault." I ranted, "If he wasn't such a homophobic jerk, none of this would be a problem. I shouldn't have to sneak around to spend time alone with my best fucking friend!"

"Connor!" Jude hissed, "Keep your voice down."

I ignored him.

"But no... that would be too easy, though." I continued ranting, my voice rising and tears starting to leak down my cheeks, "I can't have something GOOD in my life, no that's too much to ask! Can't hang out with my best friend, or spend the night at his house, because my father is a worthless piece of fucking SHIT AND HAS TO RUIN EVERYTHING!"

I couldn't contain the sobs any more, and Jude pulled me into a hug.

"I-I'm SORRY, J-Jude. I'm s-s-so fucking s-s-sorry." I sobbed, "I c-can't l-lose my b-best friend!"

"Shh. It's okay, Connor." He said, rubbing my back to comfort me, "I'm not mad at you. I know it's not your fault. It's okay. You're not going to lose me."

I had been questioning my sexuality since I caught myself checking another boy out in gym class a year previously. I knew what I was, but I just didn't want to admit it. When Jude and I became friends, my first thought was that he was cute. I had tried desperately to push the thoughts away, because I knew that any possibility of acting on the feelings would end in disaster, again courtesy of my father. It didn't work. Four days ago, in the seclusion of my bathroom at home, I admitted it to myself aloud in the mirror for the first time.

I'm gay.

I have a crush on my best friend.

My dad could never find out about any of this.

In this moment, while hugging Jude, I decided that I didn't care anymore. This felt right. I felt right, and something inside me shifted.

"You know what? The old man wants a battle I'll give him a war. " I thought to myself, "If I want this, then damn it I'm gonna have it."

I pulled away and wiped the tears from my eyes.

"Sorry. I kind of soaked your shirt." I said with a wet chuckle.

"It's fine." Jude said softly.

"No. It's really not." I disagree, "I need to tell you something."

Jude looked at me apprehensible.

"Um. Okay, go ahead."

"Um..." I mumbled, "I know I said that... I wouldn't care if you were gay. And I meant that, but..."

"But what?"

"Would you... care if, um... if _I_ was gay?" I stuttered out, staring at the floor.

"Of course I wouldn't care if you were gay, Connor. I have two moms, and you're my best friend." He said, as if insulted by the notion that he wouldn't be accepting, "You could come in to school wearing a bright neon pink skirt and quoting Wicked and I wouldn't bat an eyelash."

I took a relieved breath.

He wouldn’t care, so in for a penny, in for a pound.

"Jude... I am."

I heard an intake of breath, and I looked up to meet Jude's gaze.

He was staring at me with his eyes wide.

"What?" He asked, his face slack with shock.

"I am g-gay, Jude." I confessed, "And... I've know that since before I met you..."

I didn't get any further before he had wrapped me in a hug again. I sighed into his shoulder as I wrapped my own arms around him and squeezed, a small smile on my shoulder.

"Oh my god, Connor." He whispered, "I am so proud of you."

I returned the hug harder, and the dam finally burst.

"My dad, he thinks that if you're gay and hang out with me it'll turn me gay." I sobbed into Jude's shoulder, "But I can't tell him that he's wrong. I can't tell him that I knew I was gay before I met you. I'm afraid he'll... I'm afraid of what he'll do, of what he'll say."

"You're always welcome at my place, you know." He assured me, "Moms would understand."

"Moms usually do... mine did." I said.

"Wait, your mom knows?" He asked with wide eyes.

"She knows I have a crush on somebody who isn't a girl." I revealed, "She told me I could live with her in L.A if it came down to it. If dad finds out and... and can't deal with it."

Jude's eyes lit up.

"Oooooooh, you have a crush?" He leered with a giggle whilst bouncing with excitement, "Who is it?"

I couldn't help the laugh that escaped my lips at the sight of my best friend and crush bouncing in his seat at the prospect of knowing the identity of my crush.

I debated with myself on whether or not to tell him, show him, both, or neither.

I looked into his eyes.

I stared into his eyes.

I never realized how hypnotizing his brown eyes were. They were the same shade as my favorite kind of chocolate.

I decided at that moment that I would show him, and leaned in quickly and with only a moment's hesitation, I pressed my lips to his.

It only lasted for perhaps five seconds before I pulled away.

Jude stared at me, his eyes wide, his mouth agate. He was doing an impression of a goldfish, unable to form a coherent sentence.

He looked shocked, and in his eyes I could see a small amount of fear. It was barely noticeable, but it was still there.

My heart shattered.

"I-I'm s-sorry." I croaked, my tears renewed as I collapsed backwards onto his sleeping bag.

Jude snapped out of it and crawled up to lay next to me. He wrapped his arms around me.

"Never be sorry." He whispered to me, "Do you hear me? Never be sorry."

No more words were said that night as I cried myself to sleep in my best friends arms, while he held me and tried not to let his own tears slip.

**Five Hours Later.**

I jolted awake, my side aching from laying on the ground all night. I tried to sit up, but I found myself secured to a solid object that didn't want to move.

I looked down to see Jude's arms still wrapped tight around me.

I shook him, and he woke up abruptly.

"Wha? Oh, it's you." He mumbled sleepily.

"Let go, I need to get dressed." I said.

He looked at me confused.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"Nothing." I said and tried to get up.

His hand flashed out and latched around mine.

"Is this about last night?" He asked, "About... the kiss?"

I sighed and nodded.

"You didn't say much afterwards, last night." I said, "I figured... you were upset, or something..."

"Well, it's kind of hard to say anything when we're both busy cuddling and sleeping, Connor." Jude said, nudging my shoulder teasingly.

I laughed quietly.

"You're not mad at me are you?" I asked him softly, "Because, I did kind of spring that on you out of nowhere, and the kiss… well, I should have at least asked. I know you're probably straight, and if I made you uncomfortable…"

"No." He said without a seconds hesitation, "I'm not mad. You didn't make me uncomfortable."

"Are you sure...?" I tried to asked, but I was cut off.

Jude turned his head toward mine and leaned in, pressing his lips to my cheek with a lightning fast peck. I turned my head to stare at him, my eyes wide.

"No, Connor. I'm not mad." Jude said with a soft smile, "I'm happy."

"Wait... does this mean...?" I tried to ask, but stammered.

"Yes, you big dork. It means I like you too." He said, blushing furiously, "I don't know if I'm actually fully gay like you are, but I do know that I have feelings for you that aren't platonic. And I know this won't be easy, with your dad being a giant obstacle. But... you like me, and I like you too. So... why not?"

"But... we couldn't tell anybody." I reminded him, " Except maybe for Stef and Lena. We'd pretty much have to act like we normally do. We couldn't hug, or hold hands, or... kiss. You said before that you didn't want to be anybody's secret."

"I know, but I understand." Jude said, "If your dad found out about this tomorrow, he'd be furious. We'd both be screwed, so for the time being discretion is probably the best policy. I get that, and if you want to then so do I. We'll figure it out. Trust me."

I didn't even really have to think about it.

I thread my fingers through his and smiled at him.

"I'd like that." I said, "Boyfriends?"

"Yeah. Boyfriends."

I smiled, and again, I found myself wrapping him in a hug.

Jude and I. Boyfriends. I could definitely get used to that. Were we scared? Of fucking course we were. We both knew a fight was ahead of us.

We knew it would be a war.

At that moment though, wrapped in each other's embrace, neither of us could bring ourselves to care.


	2. Connor's Coming Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What if Adam had reacted better to Connor coming out, and Jude had been allowed to see him immediately.

Connor's POV:

Well, could this night have gone any worse? I can't believe this actually happened. I got shot. With a bullet. From a gun. And now I'm being shouted at by my dad. He wants to know why I snuck out, and he has to make the mistake of asking if it was because of Daria.

That was the final straw, and I finally snapped.

I couldn't hold it in anymore. I knew that the moment had finally arrived. The moment to finally tell the truth. The moment to tell my dad what I knew to be true since I met Jude. I was done hiding the truth. So with the last amount of resolve I had left, I did what I should have done over a month ago after the batting cages.

"I SNUCK OUT SO I COULD SEE JUDE, ALRIGHT?" I shouted at him, feeling every emotion at once bubbling to the surface as the first tear fell. 

Shocked silence filled the room at my confession, and my dad just stood and stared at me for a second. I could see in his eyes the moment comprehension dawned, because his eyes widened. I looked away for a second and took a calming breath.

"W-What does that mean?" He asked softly, a peculiar tone in his voice.

I meet his gaze again, and this time, I am shaking in fear.

I couldn't help but wonder what he would do if I actually said the words out loud. If I verbally confirmed what I thought to be his worst fear. He sat down on the bed, taking care to not irritate my injured foot. I couldn't help it when my body tensed, unconsciously preparing to fight back.

He noticed me tensing, and his brow furrowed in confusion.

"Connor, what does that mean?" He asked again softly.

I hadn't heard him use that tone in a long time.

I looked back to meet his gaze once again. I knew he could read me like a book. He could tell how scared I was. I didn't know if he was going to hate me for what I was going to say, if he would try to hit me, shout at me or anything like that. All I knew was that after this I might never be allowed to see Jude again.

But this secret had almost killed me, and I knew that it was time for it to be known. I knew that it might destroy any chance of having a good relationship with my dad, but I had to do it. I couldn't keep forcing myself to be something I wasn't just to gain his approval.

"I-I'm sorry, Dad." I whimpered fearfully, "I tried, I really did. I tried to like girls. I tried to like Daria, but it didn't work. I tried n-n-not to b-be g-g-gay. I tried to be s-straight but, I'm not. Please don't hate me!"

I was about a second and a half away from having a full emotional and mental breakdown, and by the end of my short rambled confession I was almost hyperventilating, and I was crying.

"Connor..."

It was obvious that he didn't know what to say.

"Are... Are you sure?" He asked.

"Yes. I'm sure." I said dejectedly, "I'm gay. And I've got a crush on Jude."

Dad ran his hand through his hair and sighed deeply, turning to stare at the hospital room door, somewhere on the other side of which I knew Jude sat waiting for news on my condition. He was probably scared out of his mind.

"I couldn't hate you if I tried, Connor." Dad finally said after a few minutes silence, "Let me make that clear before anything else. You shouldn't doubt that."

"You hated Jude because you thought he was gay." I pointed out accusingly, "All because of a pat on the back. What else would I expect? A party with rainbow streamers and a congratulatory banner?"

He snorted, but sobered almost immediately. He sighed again, turning his haze upon my mangled foot.

"I shouldn't have done that." I admitted quietly, "If you hadn't felt like you had to sneak around, maybe this wouldn't have happened."

I glared at him.

"Jude never did a thing to earn the way I've treated him." Dad continued, "I just..."

"You just what, Dad?" I asked angrily, "You tried to ruin the best friendship I've ever had!"

"I just didn't want you to have a harder life." Dad said quietly, "I've seen a lot of things, read a lot about this kind of thing. The bigotry you'd face, the hate that would be thrown at you... I didn't want that for you. When I was your age, this kind of thing could get you killed."

"It's 2014, dad." I reminded him, "Things are better now! You say you want to keep me safe from bigotry, and your method was to act like the people you say you want to protect me from!"

He flinched at that, violently.

"That was never my intention..."

"Well, that's how it feels." I said irritably, turning my head to stare at the door, "Is Jude still out there?"

"Yeah, so are Stef and Lena." He asked, "Why?"

"I wanna see him." I said firmly.

"Connor..."

"NO!" I interrupt, "You say you know you were wrong? You say you know you shouldn't have done what you did? Prove it, then. Let. Jude. In. You can stand next to me, you don't even have to let him get that close to me, I just wanna see him. Please?"

He stared at me, and I was immensely aware that I was now begging, but I wouldn't allow my resolve to waver. I stared him down for a full minute before he exhaled heavily.

"*Sigh*, fine." He said quietly.

I stared at him in disbelief.

"W-What?" I stammered, believing I had misheard him.

"I said fine." Dad said, "You can see him."

"Does this mean I can ask him out?" I asked quietly.

"If this is what you really want, then yes." Dad said, "You can ask him out. The same rules that applied with Daria apply with him though. No closed doors and stuff like that."

I nodded, feeling dazed as I watched him walk out of the room. I took a couple of deep breaths to calm myself. Five minutes passed before the door finally opened. 

Jude was the first through the door. His hair was dishevelled, and as soon as he saw me, he started crying. I held out my arms to him, asking for a hug. He leapt onto the bed and buried his head in my shoulder as he started crying.

"I was so scared." He cried frantically, "The bang, and you screamed and then there was blood and..."

He choked on his words.

"I'm okay." I told him, "I'll be alright, Jude. Calm down, it's okay."

Jude kept crying into my shoulder, and I made eye contact with my dad. It took a bit for Jude to calm down, and when he did he pulled away looking embarrased.

"Sorry." He said sheepishly.

"I should be the one saying that." I said softly, "It was my secret that got us into this mess."

"Connor..." Jude said, eyeing my dad, "Your dad..."

"He knows, Jude." I said, "I told him."

Jude stared at me.

"Seriously?" He asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, seriously." I confirmed, "I came out to my dad. For you, like I should have done when I kissed you in the tent. I can be your boyfriend like you deserve..."

I didn't get the full sentence out before a face splitting grin split his face and Jude had his face buried in the crook of my neck.

"I'll take that as a yes, then?" I asked with a smile of my own.

In a lightning fast motion, Jude lifted his head from my shoulder and pressed a kiss to my cheek. I couldn't help the feeling of butterlies I felt, nor could I stop my face from turning red.

That was definately a yes.


	3. Season 1 Finale: Alternate Scene.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mimi commented and requested an alternate scene from the season one finale, where Maddie calls to ask Jude to the movies, and Connor gets jealous and is braver when Jude comes back into the room. Hope you like it.

Connor's POV:

I waltzed into the Adams Foster house like I had done so many times before. I was there so frequently now that I didn't even have to knock when I came over. I walked into the living room to find Jude playing a game on the XBOX, and he was waving his hands around, trying to play it with the Kinect instead of a controller. He looked incredibly silly, and I couldn't help the laugh that escaped as I watched him struggle. He looked over at me, acknowledging my presence with a wide grin and a nod before returning his attention to the game.

"Hey, Connor." He said simply.

"Having trouble are we?" I asked amusedly.

"Just a little." He answered, his brow furrowed in concentration.

I laughed lightly.

"You look like you're trying to cast some kind of ritual, man. The way you're waving your hands around right now." I teased.

"Oh be quiet, muscle head." He said nonchalantly, not even looking away from the screen.

I tossed my backpack down and approached him, plopping down next to him and reached over and poked him in the side.

He squeaked.

"HEY!"

"Hey, you started it, dude." I reminded him.

He narrowed his eyes at me for a second before shrugging and going back to his game.

"I brought you the charger to the PSP, by the way." I told him, "It's in the backpack."

"I still think you should take it back." Jude said softly.

"And I still want you to keep it." I told him.

"What do your mom and dad think about that?" He asked me.

"I bought it myself, so they didn't care." I told him.

"How did you buy it?" He asked me shocked, "Those things are expensive."

"They're also old." I reminded him, "I used to mow grass for pocket money, and my mom gives me a decent allowance. The PSP was only about fifty bucks, because it's one of the original models. Besides, I barely ever played the thing anyway. At least with you I know it'll be played and taken care of properly, and you liked it when you played it that day when I first came over so I figured you'd like it."

"Oh. Okay." He said, "Thanks."

"Don't mention it, man."

"Way to start a friendship with a grand gesture, though." He teased lightly.

"Grand gesture? More like grand gestures." I corrected him, "Remember the nail polish?"

He grinned and nodded.

"Yeah. I remember." He said, and returned his focus to the game.

"So, you excited for the day after tomorrow?" I asked.

A wide smile split his face at the mention of the date.

"Yeah. I still can't believe it." Jude said, the happiness in his voice making me smile, "I can't believe I'm finally getting adopted."

"I'm happy for you." I said, "If anybody deserves it, it's you and Callie."

"I was actually gonna ask you if you wanted to be there." Jude said nervously as if expecting me to decline.

I knew that only family and friends were going to be there, and knowing that I was counted among them made me feel honored.

"You want me there?" I asked, a smile on my face.

"If you want to be, yeah."

"Definitely. Wouldn't miss it for the world, buddy." I said happily, patting him on the back.

About an hour later, Mariana came in with the house phone. I was helping Jude with the level he was trying to beat when she handed him the phone.

"Jude, phone for you."

"Who is it?" Jude asked, his voice full of confusion.

"I don't know." Mariana responded, handing Jude the phone.

"Hello?" Jude asked as he put the phone to his ear. After a second, he looked between Mariana and I and started to leave the room.

"It's a girl." Mariana said with a smile, "Who do you think it is?"

Those words rang in my head as I watched Jude walk out of the living room. My mind started to wander and I pondered who could be calling Jude. As far as I knew, I was one of the few people who were lucky enough to be friends with him. Even if with me and him it is a bit, well… different than a normal friendship. Closer.

It was at that moment that I realized I was jealous.

Very jealous.

I mean, it wasn't like I'd never thought about it before. Of course I had. I'm thirteen, and I'm starting puberty, and Jude is cute. He's kind, funny, he never says anything bad about anybody no matter how much they may deserve it. I had first thought about it when I came over after Stef's dad's funeral and we were playing with the Ouija board in Mariana's room. The hopeful smile on his face when the board answered yes to his asking if it was okay if Stef and Lena adopted him just confirmed it for me.

I had a crush on him, and while the thought of possibly being gay or bisexual was confusing and maybe a little scary to me, I knew that I liked him.

I rolled my jaw as jealously continued to shoot through me like fire in my veins. I felt irritation with myself as my nervous tick manifested itself again. I always rolled my jaw when I was nervous. I shook my head clear and returned my attention to the bag of potato chips that I had been snacking on, consuming three in quick succession as I waited for Jude to return. Not even a minute passed before he returned, looking slightly confused but not unhappy.

"Who was that?" I asked him curiously, fighting to keep my voice even.

"Uh, Maddie from school." He answered, turning to look back at the television screen.

Maddie. I knew her, she was this African American girl who shared our math class. She was nice, friendly, but I knew that she could be obnoxious sometimes. Now that I thought about it, she had been looking at Jude lately. I guess now I know why.

"Maddie? What did she want?" I asked him, trying and most likely failing to stay nonchalant about the situation.

Now, Jude and I have only known each other for a couple of months now. After I painted my nails blue in his defense, we have grown as close as two boys could get without being brothers or, well… dating. As a result, Jude can read me like a book. It's something that I'm still getting used to, to be honest. Having a best friend who can read my body language and know exactly what I'm thinking and can communicate so much with just a single glance and quirk of the eyebrow is strange.

I mean, I have other friends, sure. Lots of them. I can even say that Jude isn't my only best friend. I have two other best friends, Danny Evans and Jackson Finnegan. They were my two oldest friends. I've known them both since kindergarten, I consider them to be my brothers, and neither of them could read me as well as Jude can. The only other person I know who can, is my own mother. Jude probably knows more about me than anybody. He knows quite a few of my secrets, like the fact I can actually stand listening to One Direction.

Needless to say, If I was failing in my façade of nonchalantness, he could probably see right through it. He looked at me, his eyes narrowing by a barely noticeable amount. If I wasn't watching for his reactions I would have missed it.

Yep, he definitely knew that something was up.

"Um, she just wanted to know if I wanted to go see a movie with her next week." Jude answered, looking at me, and by the way he was looking at me I could tell that he was analyzing me.

Then what he said registered in my brain.

Oh. Huh.

I was torn between pride in my best friend getting asked out on a date, and the constant churning jealousy that was making my stomach do back flips.

"She did?" I asked, looking away for a second before continuing, "What did you say?"

He was still analyzing me, I could tell.

"I said I would ask my moms and let her know at school, tomorrow." Jude answered, and I noticed that the tone of his voice seemed unsure, almost nervous.

"Do you WANNA go? I mean, like, ya know, do you like her?" I asked, trying to keep the jealousy from creeping into my voice.

Jude looked away for a second, a thoughtful look appearing on his face. I could tell that he was actually considering my question, but I also knew he was wondering why I was asking these questions. He thought about it for a moment before he started to slowly shake his head in the negative.

"No? No. Not like that, no." He said, sounding unsure at first but sound more sure as he spoke.

"Are you sure?" I asked,.

"Yeah. Yeah, no." Jude confirmed with a nod and a small laugh.

"Oh. Okay, uh… cool." I said.

I immediately felt immensely relieved. So, Jude didn't like Maddie like that.

"Connor?"

"Yeah, man?"

"Are you okay?"

I turned to look at him, and he was staring at me with his brow furrowed and eyes narrowed slightly.

"Uh, yeah. 'Course I am. Why? Why wouldn't I be?" I asked him, again trying to appear as if everything was normal.

"You're acting… a bit weird today." He said bluntly, but softly at the same time, "Plus you've been rolling your jaw for the past ten minutes. You always do it when you're nervous."

I snorted out a laugh and shook my head fondly.

"You really do know me too well, you know that right?" I said lightly.

He raised an eyebrow, nonverbally asking me to answer his question.

"I just…" I started to say, but stopped.

What the hell was I supposed to say? I sighed and rolled my jaw again.

"Connor… what's wrong?" Jude asked again, scooting a little closer. His shoulder bumped mine, and our knees touched and I tensed for a second before relaxing.

"I guess I'm just, jealous. I guess." I confessed.

"About Maddie asking me out?" He asked confused, "If you want to asked her out, you can."

"No, it's not that. I don't like her either." I responded.

"Oh. Okay."

We sat in silence for a minute, the game forgotten about.

"I'm surprised she actually asked me out and not you." Jude confessed quietly.

I turned to look at him.

"Why are you surprised?" I asked him confused.

"I'm not…" Jude started to say but froze, "Never mind."

"Hey." I said, putting a hand on his shoulder, "You don't have to hide things with me. You know that. You never have, you never will. So what's wrong?"

"I don't see why she likes me, is all." Jude said softly.

Oh, of course.

It was Jude's low self esteem coming out again. It's time like these I'd like to meet his former foster parents and introduce my aluminum baseball bat to their faces for making him think he wasn't worth what he actually was. He had confided in me about a few incidents that had happened, including one that happened at his last foster home when he got the crap beaten out of him because he got caught trying on an old dress out of curiosity. The look of shame on his face when he told me that nearly made me cry, and I made him feel better by telling him about this one time I rolled my ankle when I was four by trying to walk in a pair of my mom's stilettos.

So, naturally my first instinct is to reassure him, which I did.

"How could she not like you?" I said sternly without thinking, "You're nice and you're cute."

Silence followed my statement, and after a minute I turned to Jude to say something and noticed that he was staring at me with wide eyes, and his mouth was slightly agate.

"What?" I asked.

"Did you just call me… cute?" He stammered, a blush covering his face.

My eyes grew in size, and I gulped as I realized what I just said.

"Yeah. I did." I mumbled softly, "Sorry."

I folded my hands in my lap and commenced staring at them.

"Connor…you think I'm cute?" He asked, and I looked at his face to see that he was smiling at me with a really goofy smile.

Okay, so he wasn't mad. I could practically feel myself turning red.

"And if I do?" I asked, "Is that a bad thing?"

He was still smiling at me.

"No, it's not a bad thing." He said, "Unexpected? Yeah. But not bad."

I smiled lightly.

"So, it doesn't weird you out?" I asked him hopefully.

"Nah, of course it doesn't." He said before he started stammering over his words and blushing, "I uh, actually think it's uh, kind of nice. Yeah. Nice."

I looked at him, and decided to go for it.

"Hey, uh. Can I ask you something?" I asked.

"Sure."

"If you're not going to go out with Maddie…" I said nervously, "Do you think, maybe, WE could go to the movies or something?"

He looked at me with eyes that had widened to an almost comical size.

"Yeah mean, like as a date?" He asked, disbelief clear in his voice.

"I-If you want it to be, yeah." I said, trying not to blush as much as I knew I was.

"Uh. S-Sure." Jude said, smiling widely and trying not to giggle, "I have to ask Moms, but yeah."

It dawned on me that I hadn't seen him this happy before, and I had never seen him smile this widely. I resolved to try to make him smile that wide more often.

"Cool." I said, my own grin splitting my face, "So, does that make us b-boyfriends. Or something?"

He looked at me, his eyes a fraction wider than before at the mention of the word "boyfriend".

"Uh. S-Sure. I-If that's what you w-want, I mean." He stammered.

"Yeah. I do." I said to him with a goofy giggle, "Boyfriend."

He grinned, and scooted a bit closer to me on the couch. He hesitated for a moment before he reached out and wrapped me in a hug.

Boyfriends.

I briefly wondered what my parents would say about it, my dad especially, but I really didn't care at that moment because I couldn't remember the last time I had ever felt that happy.


	4. Season 1 Finale: Alternate PT. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuation of the previous one shot. Takes place the night of Jude's adoption. The third part will be posted sometime this week, and will be Jude having dinner with Connor and his parents while Adam practically interrogates him.

As the door closed behind us and we stepped into the Adams Foster house, another grin split across mine and Jude's faces. Today had been one of the best days I've had in a long time, and I know that Jude was happier than he'd ever been in his life. I snuck a peak at him out of the corner of my eye, and the grin that had been on his face for the past hour was still blazing brightly.

Today was the day that Jude Jacob became Jude Adams Foster.

My best friend, my Boyfriend, was finally adopted. He finally had the family he deserved to have.

I decided at that moment that tonight was also the night I was gonna tell my parents about us dating.

We were all led into the kitchen, and a moment later Stef and Lena withdrew a cake from the fridge and sat it down on the table. The entire time, Jude was practically glued to my side. The party carried on, and about an hour into the festivities Jude pulled me to the side.

"We'll be right back." Jude shouted to his moms as he dragged me up the stairs to his bedroom.

We charged through the door to his room, and he eased the door shut after I entered the room. We turned to look at each other, and we both blushed.

"Hi." He said.

"Hi." I returned with a laugh and a smile, "What did you want to talk about?"

"Are you… comfortable with telling my family." Jude asked, "About us being boyfriends?"

"Yeah, if you want to." I confirmed, "I was actually gonna tell my parents about it tonight too."

"Okay, good." Jude said.

"I was also gonna ask you what we were gonna do at school." I asked him.

"I would guess that for now, we act just like we did before this." Jude responded, "I mean, we don't act much differently now anyway, we just hold hands and hug. So it shouldn't be too hard. We don't know how other kids will react to us dating."

"Yeah, that's true." I conceded, "We'll have Danny and Jax on our side either way, so…"

"Wait, they know?" Jude asked, his voice full of surprise.

"Yeah… I told them when we hung out yesterday." I revealed, "Sorry."

"No, it's fine. W-What'd they say?"

"Danny congratulated me on being the first of the three of us to score a date." I said fondly, "Jax gave me a hug and told me he was happy for us. Although, they do want to talk to you. Give you the whole _you hurt our brother we hurt you_ speech."

"HA! Just wait until you get yours, Connor." Jude said with a smirk, "You have to face all four of my siblings."

"Oh, I'm so scared." I deadpanned, "I may die from the horror."

"Good to know you face death so bravely." Jude joked back.

"Well what can I say?" I bantered, "I'm just that special."

"No, you've just got that big of a head." Jude teased.

"Big head means big brain." I returned.

"More like full of hot air."

"Hahaha. Good one."

"I do try." Jude said with a mock bow and a laugh, "Come on. They're all probably wondering where we are."

I nodded in agreement, and we both set off back down the stairs to the kitchen.

About an hour later, dinner was prepared and sat on the table.

Everybody gave a short little toast to welcome Jude to the family, and when everybody was seated I turned to Lena.

"Um, is it okay if I say something, too?" I asked her.

"Sure, sweetie. Go ahead." She responded.

I stood up and turned to Jude, who was sitting between me and Callie.

"A couple of months ago, I was walking through the halls of Anchor Beach on my way back from the bathroom." I said, "I turned a corner and I ran headlong into somebody. I helped him to his feet, and apologized. When he told me he was lost, I helped him to his class which we shared. Within a week, he was my best friend and I couldn't imagine life without him. Jude, I'm so happy for you. You've finally found where you belong, and you have the family you deserve. I'm so happy that you're here to stay. You're the best, kindest, and funniest kid I know, you're my best friend, and now…"

I shot him a pointed look, asking for his permission and giving him one last chance to back out. He nodded and got to his feet and stepped toward me as I reached out to offer him my hand, which he took gently.

"And now… you're my boyfriend too, and I'm glad you're here to stay." I finished, and he stepped forward and threw himself forward to wrap me in a hug.

Simultaneously Stef, Lena, and Mariana let out shocked gasps and started awwing at us. Callie, Brandon and Jesus just stared, their jaws dropped and their eyes wide from the shock.

"AWW! That is so cute!" Mariana commented.

"Wait… Seriously?" Jesus said, smiling but still shocked, "You two are dating now? When did this happen?"

"He asked me out the day before yesterday." Jude said as he pulled out of the hug, blushing like crazy.

"Good for you little bro." Brandon said genuinely, "You beat all of our records. Got a date younger than any of us ever did, I'm impressed."

"Why didn't you tell us sooner, honey?" Stef asked.

"Why were going to, but everybody was so busy we just never had the time." I said sheepishly.

"Yeah, every time we tried to corner you and momma to tell, you always had to rush to do something else." Jude said with a small laugh.

"Are you two sure this is what you want?" Lena asked.

"Yeah. This is new to both of us." I answered, "I've never dated anybody before and neither has Jude. Right now, we're both still getting used to being a couple. The only difference right now between us before and us now is that we hold hands and we hug a lot. And I call him cute to watch him blush."

Sure enough, Jude turned red at the compliment, which got some laughter out of everybody else.

Jude turned to me and poked me in the side right in my ticklish spot, causing me to squeak.

"Payback sucks, muscle head." He said smugly.

Everybody laughed, except for Callie. Jude noticed and turned to her.

"Callie? You aren't… mad about this. Are you?"

Callie stared at him for a second, before she offered him a small smile.

"No, bud. I'm not mad." She said softly, "As long as you're happy, so am I."

Jude's smile was blinding, and he slipped his hand into mine and squeezed.

The rest of the party passed without incident, and soon enough my mom and dad were honking outside to pick me up.

"I'll uh, walk you to the door." Jude offered.

We walked to the door, and he took my hand again before I could open the door.

"I'm really glad you came."

I smiled at him softly.

"I'm glad I came. Wouldn't have missed it for the world." I told him.

He moved closer and looked extremely nervous. He stood on the tips of his toes, and pressed a soft kiss to my cheek. He pulled back and giggled as I turned red as a lobster. I took his laughter as a challenge so I decided two could play at that game.

So I leaned in and pressed my lips to his in what was intended to be a lightning fast peck, but as soon as our lips touched, I decided to let it linger.

After a few seconds, I pulled away, and he was blushing far worse than I was. My lips were tingling, and I couldn't hold in the giggle that escaped.

"Uh…" Was all that Jude could manage.

"Yeah, uh… Haha." I stammered, "That was… nice."

"Yeah." He laughed.

The horn honked again.

"I'll see you at school okay?" I asked.

He squeezed my hand again before releasing it.

"See you."

I turned and opened the door and stepped through it.

The entire ride home was a daze. My mind was stuck on Jude.

I'd gotten my first kiss.

The giddy back flips my stomach was doing wouldn't stop, and I didn't want them to stop.

As soon as we got home and in the house I turned to my parents.

"Hey mom, dad? Can I uh, talk to you about something, in the living room?" I asked nervously.

"Of course." Mom said.

I led them into the living room, and I sat down on the couch. They sat down next to me and I could feel the nerves starting to flare.

"What's up, honey?" She asked.

"Um. Wow this is harder than I thought it would be." I said quietly, "You know how Jude was adopted today?"

"Yeah, why? Did something happen?" Dad asked.

"Kind of. Nothing bad, but… actually it's something good. Or it is to me." I stammered.

"Okay, what is it?" Mom asked curiously.

"Um. I uh, I asked Jude if he wanted to go to the movies with me sometime." I said quietly, my voice thick with nervousness.

"Okay, so what's the problem?" Dad asked.

"Dad… I uh. I asked him out. On a date." I clarified shakily.

"Oh." Dad said, his voice flat.

My mom was just staring at me in shock. Her eyes were wide and her jaw had dropped.

My heart dropped, and it only took a second for my eyes to fill with tears.

"Y-You're m-mad at m-me now, aren't you?" I stammered as the tears started to fall and I made to get up and escape the living room.

"Connor, no. We're not mad. Just give us a second to process this." Mom said, reaching out and gently taking my wrist and pulling me to sit back down on the couch, "This is unexpected."

I didn't say anything, and for a minute neither did they.

"So… you're g-gay, then?" Dad asked, flinching over the word.

"I… I don't know. I might be, but I might be bisexual. A-All I know is that I want to date Jude." I said meekly,

"Are you… are you sure this is what you want?" Dad asked with a sigh.

"Yeah. I'm sure. I… I really like him dad." I said softly, "He's awesome. He's nice, he's funny, he's selfless, he's… cute. I couldn't do better if I tried. He's the best friend I've ever had, and I really want this. Even if you guys don't like it."

"I'm happy for you, sweetheart." Mom said, "And Jude is a good boy. I know you two will be good together.

Dad still hadn't said anything, so Mom cleared her throat to get his attention. When he looked at her she nodded to me, and he sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"Okay, uh." Dad stammered, "I never thought I'd have to deal with this. If you really want to date him, then that's… uh, okay. I guess."

"Really?" I asked hopefully.

"Yeah, just be careful, okay?" Dad asked.

"So, you don't hate me, then?" I asked timidly.

"Of course I don't." Dad said softly, "You're my son. I couldn't hate you if I tried. But there will be rules."

"What kind of rules?" I asked.

"Um, no closed doors, and we want you to invite him to dinner next weekend." Dad said.

"You've met Jude, though." I pointed out.

"Yeah, as your best friend." Dad argued back, "Not your boyfriend. Big difference."

"Okay. Uh. I guess that'll be fine." I conceded, "I'll tell him when I see him at school."

We sat in silence for a minute before Dad broke it.

"So, your first relationship, huh? At thirteen?" Dad teased, "You're younger than I was."

I snorted.

"What can I say? I always do it better than you did." I joked.

"HA! You wish, kiddo." He said, ruffling my hair.

"I don't wish. I know." I snarked back with a smile, "I'm gonna go to bed okay? I'm feeling tired."

"Okay, goodnight."

I couldn't escape to my room fast enough, and as I closed my door behind me I sighed in relief.

"Well that went a lot better than I thought it would." I said to myself.

I pulled out my phone and opened up the texting app and sent Jude a text.

"Told the parents. They're okay with it. You're invited to dinner next weekend. Dad wants to interrogate you." I typed into the text box and pressed send.

Five minutes later, after I had stripped down to my boxers and climbed into bed and snuggled up under the covers, my phone dinged with a response. I pulled my phone out and read the response.

"Sounds good. See you at school. Sweet dreams."

I smiled at the text.

I have never felt so happy in my entire life.


	5. Connor Blows Up At Adam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The sequel to the first one shot in this series.

It's been two weeks since the tent. Two weeks since Jude and I kissed. Two weeks since we became boyfriends. In that time, we have grown closer. With my permission, Jude confided in Mariana about us, and Mariana has been extremely supportive. She thinks we're adorable, and insists on referring to Jude and I's relationship as "Jonnor". Jude thinks that it's unfair that only the first letter of his name is in it, and has repeatedly asked her to stop, but she won't budge. I kind of like it actually, and after I mentioned that Jude stopped fighting it so much.

It took two weeks for my dad to find out we shared a tent. His reaction was, well… less than ideal. It's not a widely known fact that my father still uses corporal punishment, but he does. This time, I tried to escape and tripped. One second I'm trying to get away and the next my head is colliding with the side of a door and dad is on the phone arranging a meeting at Anchor Beach with Lena about the situation.

When I arrived at Anchor Beach, dreading the day to come, I was immediately met by Jude, who noticed the bruise and cut on my head and immediately dragged me into a bathroom.

"What the hell happened?" He whispered angrily, "Did your dad do this? Did he beat you up?"

"He found out about the tent." I responded weakly, and Jude paled, "He tried to… punish me. Spank me. I got away, but I tripped and hit the side of the door headfirst."

"Connor…"

"Jude, I swear. He didn't do this." I assured softly.

Jude stared at me for a second before nodding with a sigh.

"Okay," He said quietly, "I just… I know what that's like. Being hit and feeling like you can't tell anybody."

"I know. I'm fine. I promise." I assured him, "My dad has a meeting with Lena and Monte today. I'm supposed to be there."

"Good luck." He said, and looked around to make sure we were alone before giving me a quick kiss on the cheek, "See you in class."

I made it to right after lunch time, and had just settled back into class when Lena's voice came over the speaker system.

"Connor Stevens to the main office please?"

The feeling of dread intensified as I marched to what I could consider to be my doom. When I walked into the office and dad was sitting there in a full fricken suit, I knew it was going to be hell.

They argued for about ten minutes. Lena questioned the cut on my eyebrow, and Dad explained about the spanking gone wrong. Lena questioned why he was still trying to spank a thirteen year old, and Dad told her that he would parent me whatever way he saw fit.

Feeling particularly angry and resentful, I snorted in disbelief.

"Parenting. Yeah right." I exclaimed sarcastically without thinking, "Because controlling every single aspect of my life is real parenting. Trying to ruin the best friendship I've ever had because of your ridiculous homophobia."

"I am not homophobic." Dad said flatly.

"Bull." I challenged angrily, "You're trying to ruin my friendship with Jude because you assume he's gay because he patted me on the back after you'd been berating me for two hours. Homophobic is exactly what you are!"

"You don't understand the point here, Connor." Dad said condescendingly.

"Then what is the point?" I growled defiantly.

"Being friends with that boy will only make your life more difficult. People will start to talk, and …"

"Let them talk. I don't care." I snapped back.

"What if they start picking on you as well as him?" Dad argued, "Do you wanna be bullied too?"

"I'd like to see them try." I challenged.

"What if Jude tries to take advantage then? Huh? What then?" Dad asked me with a sneer.

My eye twitched in fury.

"What did you just say?" I asked dangerously.

"You keep hanging out with him, he's gonna try something. Take advantage of you…"

All right. That's it.

I couldn't take it anymore. This had to end, now. He can insult me, try to hit me, but insinuating that Jude would try to force me to do something I didn't want to do.

The chains that shackled my temper opened with a clang.

"Shut up." I whispered, narrowing my eyes at him in a glare.

He looked at me with surprise evident on his face. Lena and Monte both looked at me with shock evident on their faces.

"What did you just say to me?" Dad asked warningly.

"I said SHUT UP!" I shouted, launching myself to my feet and glaring down at him, "You don't know a THING ABOUT HIM!"

He narrowed his eyes at me.

"Why are you so adamant about this? This kid is bad for you, and you still refuse to see it? Instead you keep defending him, the little broken gay boy…"

I snapped, and before I knew it I was in my dad's face, and I screamed.

"JUDE ISN'T THE GAY ONE! I AM!" I screamed into his face.

The color drained from his face and he gaped at me in shock.

"W-What did you just say?" He asked, unable to believe his ears.

I snuck a peak at Lena and Monte, and saw that they were both on their feet, ready to intervene if they needed to. Both of them were staring at me with lucks of unconcealed shock, and sympathy.

For some reason, the sympathy did nothing to calm me down. The fact that the situation I was in caused them to feel sympathy for me only made it worse.

So I exploded.

"DO YOU SEE IT NOW? HUH? DO YOU, OLD MAN?" I screamed, losing control, "IT WAS NEVER JUDE YOU HAD TO WORRY ABOUT! IT WAS ME! MEEEEE! I'VE KNOW FOR A LONG TIME! I'VE KNOW SINCE GYM CLASS LAST YEAR, WHEN I CAUGHT MYSELF CHECKING OUT ANOTHER BOY! I MADE THE FIRST MOVES WITH JUDE! I ALWAYS HAVE! I ASKED TO SHARE A TENT! I CAME OUT TO HIM AND I KISSED HIM AND I ASKED HIM OUT THAT NIGHT! THAT WAS ALL ME! NOT HIM! ME! ALL HE DID WAS SAY YES! YOU THINK HE WAS AFTER ME? NO! I WAS AFTER HIM!"

In the back of my mind I know I was aware that I really shouldn't be shouting, but I had held this in for so long, that I couldn't help it. So I kept shouting.

"THE WAY YOU TALK ABOUT HIM, MAKING HIM SOUND LIKE HE'S OUT TO MOLEST ME, I'M SICK OF IT! YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING ME A FAVOR BUT YOU'RE NOT! YOU'RE RUINING THE ONLY THING I REALLY WANT! JUDE ADAMS FOSTER HAS DONE MORE FOR ME THAN YOU EVER HAVE! HE MAKES ME WANT TO BE BETTER! HE MAKES ME HAPPY! HE MAKES ME FEEL SAFE! THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF YOU! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO LOVE ME FOR WHO I AM! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO ENCOURAGE ME TO BE WHO I REALLY AM! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO WANT ME TO BE HAPPY! INSTEAD, YOU TRY TO CHANGE ME AND YOU MAKE ME MISERABLE! YOU'RE A HORRIBLE FATHER AND **_I HATE YOU_**!"

I don't know what made me do it, but as my anger overwhelmed me, I drew back my fist and I punched him as hard as I could. I turned, grabbed my backpack, and ignore them trying to talk to me as I bolted from the room. I was halfway to the door when the tears that had started to fall turned to sobs, and I saw Jude out of the corner of my eye. I didn't want him to see me like this so I sped up, now sprinting from the school.

**Jude's POV:**

I saw Connor bolting from the school and called after him, receiving no response. I knew that his meeting with momma was supposed to be right now, and I drew the obvious conclusion that it hadn't gone well. I headed to the office, and stopped outside the door for a second to listen in. It was still silent, until I heard my mom break the silence.

"Adam?"

I peaked inside, and saw Mr. Stevens sitting in a chair in front of Lena's desk. His head in his hands. Momma and Monte both looked like they were in shock.

"H-Have I really been that horrible of a father to him?" He asked brokenly.

"No." I said, stepping into the office, causing the three of them to jump, "You've been worse."

"Jude…" Momma tried to interrupt, but I continued on anyway.

"Maybe you can explain why I just saw Connor sprinting from the school in hysterical tears?" I asked Mr. Stevens rudely, "What did you do to him now?"

"Jude." Momma interrupted sternly, "Sit down, please."

I did, taking care to sit on the couch instead of the chair right next to Mr. Stevens.

"What happened?" I asked again.

"Connor… he kind of exploded." Lena started to explain.

"Kind of exploded?" Mr. Stevens said with a scoff of disbelief, "No he didn't, the kid went nuclear, and I don't blame him. I've done the one thing I swore I would never do. I've turned into my damned father."

"What. Happened?" I asked again.

"Connor told us about what you two did in the tent." Monte said softly, "Adam made some… insinuations about you, and Connor defended you and came out in the process."

My eyes widened to ridiculous size and I stared at the three of them in disbelief.

"He what?" I asked, "What exactly did he tell you?"

"That he came out to you that night in the tent." Momma said, "That he kissed you and asked you out. That you said yes."

I sunk into the couch, in shock. He had actually did it, and I couldn't believe it.

"Honey?" Momma asked, "Is what Connor said true?"

I looked at her, then Monte, then Mr. Stevens.

I looked away and sighed.

"We were talking that night before lights out, and you came up." I said, pointing at Mr. Stevens, "He apologized. Said that he wouldn't care if I really was gay or not. That he'd still want to be my friend regardless. He started crying and I hugged him, trying to calm him down. After he calmed down he asked me if I would care if he was gay, and I told him that I wouldn't. And then he told me that he was. I told him I was proud of him. He mentioned something about having a crush. I asked him who, and then he kissed me. I didn't say anything afterwards, and he took is as rejection so he started crying again. We fell asleep, and when we woke up the next morning, we talked again. He asked me to be his boyfriend and I said yes. So, yeah. It's true."

Mr. Stevens sighed and ran his hand through his hair.

"What insinuations did he make?" I asked curiously with a touch of anger.

"Jude…"

"Tell. Me." I demanded.

"He insinuated that… you would take advantage of Connor." Monte revealed with a wince.

I looked at Mr. Stevens in disgust.

"I would never do that to him." I snarled, "How dare you even think that! My SISTER was taken advantage of, and she was raped. I would never put another person through that."

I stood and moved to stand in front of him, to stare into his eyes defiantly.

"You don't deserve to have a son as good as Connor." I said, "I've had foster parent's just like you, and all of them were terrible. Now, if you'll all excuse me…"

"Jude…" Monte tried to say to stop me from leaving..

"I'm going to find him." I said, "He shouldn't be alone right now."

I marched out of the office, and out of the school onto the beach. I looked up and down the beach, and could see Connor sitting right in front of the water, just close enough for the waves to wet his feet. I sighed and approached him, plopping down right next to him and kicking my shoes off. The cold water of the Pacific washed over my feet, and I sighed.

"Hey." I said softly, sitting down next to him.

He didn't say a word, just leaned his head against my shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Connor."

"Don't apologize for him." He said, spitting the last word as if it was venom on his tongue.

"Connor, they told me what happened." I said softly while rubbing his back in comfort, "They told me that you came out. That you told them about the tent. About everything."

"I hadn't planned to." Connor said with a sniffle, "He just made me so mad… and I went nuts."

"Yeah, they said that too." I said, "I'm proud of you, you know that right? You stood up for yourself. You stood up for me. I don't know what I did to deserve a boyfriend as good as you."

I pulled him into a side hug and squeezed.

"But Connor, we need to go back." I told him, "This isn't over yet."

He sighed, and nodded miserably before standing. We made our way back toward the school, and I could see that the hallways were full of kids, which meant that it was passing time between periods.

Connor stopped me, and I looked at him confused. He reached out and slipped his hand into mine.

"This time we do it together." He said softly, pointing at the school, "We go in there as a couple, hand in hand. Show a united front. Show that we're not ashamed, that I'm not ashamed."

I stared at him, and crushed the feeling of nervousness with quick efficiency.

"Let's show Jonnor off to the world then." I said.

Connor smile widely and laughed at the use of Mariana's goofy relationship name for us, and we took the first step toward the school.

We walked back towards the school, and one by one, the students started to stare. I could feel Connor tense, and we both waited for the insults that never came, for the attack that never arrived. To anybody who looked at us weirdly, we glared back in defiance. We got a couple of people who smiled at us, and a few who gave us thumbs up, but mostly people just didn't seem to care.

We both sighed in relief, and hurried to the office.

We walked in, hand in hand, Connor openly glaring at his dad who was looking at our linked hands with resignation.

"I only have one thing to say to you, dad." Connor said, his voice still rough from crying, "I am gonna date Jude, whether you want me to or not. I don't care what you think, and if you try to stop me I'll just do it behind your back. So you better get used to it."

"Connor…" Dad tried to interrupt.

"And if you can't handle it, then I'll just go live with mom in Los Angeles." Connor countered preemptively, "She already knows. She doesn't care."

Adam flinched at the thought of Connor leaving, and so did I.

"I… *Sight*, fine." Adam finally said after a moment of silence, "You can date him, and I'll try to get better with all this. It won't happen overnight, but I'll try."

"That's all I'm asking, dad." Connor said cautiously.

"I'll uh, see you at home, I guess." He said.

"Can I go over to Jude's after school?" Connor asked cautiously, "I want to talk to Stef, make sure she's okay with me dating Jude. Jude can tell his siblings if he wants to while I'm there."

Mr. Stevens sighed.

"Yeah, fine. Just be home by ten." Mr. Stevens said before walking out the door, and turning back to stare at us, "And Connor?"

"Yeah, Dad?" Connor asked cautiously.

"You have every right to hate me." Mr. Stevens said, "But just know that you're my son. I love you. That'll never change. I may not understand this, but I still love you."

Connor stared at his father, and with a shaky breath, he nodded.

"Thanks, Dad." Connor said, "And I'm sorry I blew up at you…"

"No, don't apologize." Mr. Stevens said, "I deserved it. I'll see you later."

Mr. Stevens nodded back, and eased the door to the office shut until it closed with a click.

Connor turned and pulled me into a hug, and sighed shakily into my shoulder.

"It's over." He whimpered.

He smiled at the truth in his simple statement.

Connor was free from the chains that bound him, and we could be a couple without interference.

As my boyfriend clung to me, I couldn't help but smile.


	6. A Dress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Second update in one morning!
> 
> Not exactly a AU, more of a post cannon piece. Takes place three years after Connor leaves for L.A., and a little over a year since he moved back to San Diego

**(Takes place in January of 2017)**

Jude's POV:

It was a Saturday, and I was staying the night at Connor's for the second night that week. After a day of video games and major amounts of snacking, we both finally decided the sleep beckoned. As soon as I was asleep, however, I sunk into a memory I had hoped would stay buried. I saw myself, almost four years ago, curled up on the floor in tears next to a ripped up old blue dress while my foster father threw punches and kicks. No matter how much I begged him to stop, he just kept going.

"JUDE!"

I awoke with a scream of fright, fighting off the shudder that shook me as I looked into the eyes of the person who had just woke me up. Connor stared into my eyes, and over his shoulder I could see Adam standing there looking worried.

"Shh, it's okay, baby. Calm down. You were just having a nightmare." Connor whispered soothingly.

"S-Sorry." I whimpered, trying to regain control of my breathing.

Connor rubbed my back in comfort.

"S'alright kiddo." Adam assured me, "You alright? You were screaming. Scared the both of us."

"I'm alright." I panted heavily, "Just… bad memories, you know?"

"Yeah. I do." Connor assured me, "I still dream about the incident sometimes."

The Incident. That was the name that Moms, Adam, Connor and I had given to our night of gallivanting across the neighborhood that resulted in Connor getting shot. Even now, three whole years later, Connor still had nightmares, and he still had small episodes when he hears something that sounds like a gunshot, like a balloon popping or fireworks or a car backfiring. We had both gotten a bit better, since we were both able to play some of our old video games without any problem. I can safely say that Connor is addicted to Fallout 4 and Dying Light.

"Do you uh, need to talk about it?" Connor asked softly, "Talking about it helps me."

"It's kind of embarrassing." I responded, "It happened in my last foster home. Before I found my forever family."

"Oh." Connor said simply as if that explained everything.

And truthfully, it really did. I had always been very tight lipped about my time in foster care where Connor was concerned. All he knew was that I had gone into the system when I was six with Callie and stayed there until I was adopted, and that it was not even remotely pleasant. Connor had long ago promised not to pry for details, and he had honored that promise, instead allowing me to tell him about the subject when I felt ready.

"I'll leave you two to talk." Adam said, "I'm gonna get a drink of water and head back to bed. Don't stay up too long."

We nodded, and he made his exit, but not before he spared one last worried glance at us.

Sometimes it amazed me just how far Mr. Stevens had come since Connor and I had started going out. Sure things had been rocky for a while, and had eventually resulted in Connor moving to Los Angeles to live with his mother for two years. He spent eighth grade and freshman year of high school there, and while we struggled to maintain our long distance relationship, we made it through it. Eventually, after a lot of time spent working on their relationship, Adam and Connor fully reconciled and Connor felt comfortable enough to move back home. We were both cautious around him at first, until Adam willingly gave me a hug and told me he was glad I came into Connor's life.

"Okay, now tell me what it was?" Connor asked softly, shaking me from my thoughts.

"Promise not to make fun of me?" I asked.

"Of course."

"When I was in my last foster home, I was home alone one day." I started shakily, "Our foster dad was at work and Callie was at the library. I was bored and I went looking for something to do. I went snooping in our foster dad's closet and I found this box full of his dead wife's things. Old makeup, clothes. That sort of thing. There was a dress in there. It was blue, close to the shade of nail polish I used to wear. I liked the color, and I was curious, so… I tried it on."

I surveyed Connor's face looking for a reaction. He look confused.

"Okaaaaay, that's what's bothering you?" He said, "That's not so weird. You were a little kid, and kids are curious about that kind of thing. I remember trying to walk in a pair of my mom's old high heels once. Twisted my ankle, too. Not pretty."

Okay, so he doesn't think I'm weird then, good.

"It's not the dress that I was dreaming about." I confessed, "It's what my foster father did to me when he came in and saw me wearing it."

Connor's eyes darkened.

"He hit you." Connor guessed, his voice dropping a couple of octaves from the anger he felt at the thought of me getting hurt.

"Beat me." I corrected, "He ripped the dress off of me, and started kicking me. Then he started punching me. He wasn't gonna stop, either. He could have killed me. Callie came home just in time. Took a baseball bat to his car's windshield to get him to stop. She got sent to Juvie, and not even a week later we were both at the Fosters. You know what happened next, you were there for it."

Connor cracked his neck, and took a calming breath. He gripped my hand tightly.

"You know that you're safe, right?" He asked me, "That I'll never think less of you for anything, right? That if you still want to do stuff like that… wearing dresses, nail polish, whatever it is, you can."

"I know."

"Have you ever thought about it?" Connor asked curiously whilst still rubbing my back, "Wearing a dress, I mean. Since then."

I looked at him and sighed, scratching the back of my neck nervously.

"Y-Yeah. Once or twice." I confessed sheepishly, "You're sure that's not weird to you?"

"Of course I'm sure." Connor assures me.

I searched his eyes for any signs of dishonesty and found none. Nonetheless, I stayed weary and I think he could tell because he looked a little sad.

"Can you keep this between us?" I asked.

"Of course." He said with a soft smile, pressing a light kiss to my lips, "Your secret's safe with me."

He pulled me into his arms and wrapped his arms around me. I snuggled into him, laying my head on his chest as we both drifted back off to sleep.

When I woke up the next day, Connor was already gone. I stumbled down to the kitchen and was met by Adam, who was sitting at the table with a cup of coffee. He offered me a cup, which I accepted graciously and sat down at the table.

"Where's Connor?" I asked.

"He ran to pick something up really quick. Said he'd be back in a bit." Adam said, looking at me nervously, "Um, Jude?"

"Yeah?"

He looked at me and sighed.

"I um, overheard some of what you told Connor last night." He confessed cautiously.

I froze in the process of taking a sip, and put the cup down gently.

"How much?"

"Um… pretty much all of it, actually."

I sighed, scratching the back of my neck.

"You've been spending too much time with my Moms." I said, trying to sound nonchalant, "They eavesdrop all the time too."

"Yeah… I never really even knew you back then did I?" Adam asked.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"It's just, all the crap you went through, all the pain you've suffered through, and all I did was add to it." Adam said, his voice softer than I'd ever heard it, "I can't tell you how sorry I am about that."

"It's in the past, Mr. Stevens." I said softly, "It's okay."

"Kid, after all of this, you've earned the right to call me Adam." He said, "You're already like a second son to me, so…"

I looked at him in shock at him saying that, and a warm feeling settled in my stomach.

"Thanks, Adam." I said and mentally cringed at weird it felt to call him by his first name, "That means a lot to me. And you've more than made up for the past. You're like a father to me, too. Well, third if you count Mike and Donald."

"Ha. Thanks kiddo."

I heard the front door open, and we both turned to see Connor charging up the stairs. I just barely caught a glimpse of the two bags he was carrying.

"What's he up to?" I asked.

"I have an idea." Adam said, "Why don't you go find out. I gotta go to work. You two heading over to yours afterwards?"

"Yeah we are." I confirmed.

I stood from the table and ran up the stairs after him, finding him in his room staring into one of the bags. The second one was nowhere in sight.

"What are you doing?" I asked, announcing my presence.

He turned his head to look at me, and then to the side. He was thinking about something. After a moment's pause, he tossed something my way that I caught on reflex.

"Put it on." He said softly.

I looked down and froze. My jaw dropped open at the sight of what was now clutched in my hands.

It was a dress.

A blue dress.

I looked up to meet Connor's gaze, not understanding what was happening.

"W-What…?"

"Last night, you didn't really believe me when I told you I was okay with you wanting to wear a dress." Connor said, stepping closer to me and wrapping his arms around my waist, "I could tell. I could see it in your eyes, in the way you looked at me. So I got up early. I went to the mall, and I bought you this."

I couldn't stop myself from crying at that point.

"I wanted to prove to you, that you were safe. One hundred percent safe." Connor said softly, "Plus I wanted to see how cute you looked if you were in a dress."

The last was said with a small grin, and a light blush on Connor's part.

I unfolded the dress, and Connor shut the door. I slipped the dress on over my thin pajamas.

It was even in my size. It was a simple blue dress (not strapless), and it fell to my ankles. I looked back up at Connor, and could see the love shining from his eyes.

"You see?" Connor murmured softly, "You look adorable, just like I said you would."

I smiled tearily at him and wiped my eyes.

"Now, I've got another surprise for you." Connor said, now sounding nervous, "I'll be right back."

He grabbed some pajamas from his dresser and left the room, shutting the door behind him. A moment later he returned, now wearing his pajamas. He walked over to his closet door, and opened it. From the depths of the closet he pulled another bag. He sat it on the bed and withdrew its contents.

It was another dress. A red one.

"You bought me two?" I asked, confused.

Connor shook his head.

"No." He said, unfolding it, "This one, uh… this one's mine."

Without another word, he slipped it on over his head.

My brain stopped working.

Connor was wearing a dress.

An actual red dress. Willingly.

"What do you think?" He asked nervously.

"C-C-Connor… you didn't, you didn't have to…"

"I know I didn't." He said, walking forward again and taking my hand into his, "I didn't when I did _this_ the first time either."

He held up one hand for me to see, and my heart melted when I noticed the blue on his finger nails.

"Our war paint." I whisper, taking his other hand into mine.

"You've always supported me" Connor said softly, "When I moved to L.A to live with mom, you stood by me even though it hurt, and you stayed for the whole two years I was gone, never giving up on us even when it seemed like everything was falling apart. I will always support you, Jude. I did with the nail polish, way back in seventh grade, and I will with the dress now. I don't care where, either. If it's just in private, or at prom next year, you can do whatever you want. If anybody says anything, they'll deal with me."

I felt the first sob bubble up from my stomach, and I collapsed into Connor's arms. He wrapped them around me, and held me tightly flush with his body as I sobbed softly into his shoulder.

It was a happy sobbing though.

"I have never felt so loved in my entire life." I whispered to him through my tears.

"You'll never have to worry about that again." Connor whispered to me, "I'm never gonna stop loving you, and I'm never gonna leave you. You're gonna stay my boyfriend until you become my fiancé, and then you're gonna stay that until you become my husband, and then you're gonna stay THAT until the day we both die."

"Planning ahead, are we?" I asked with a small sob and laugh, pulling back to look into his eyes.

"Of course, never too early." He joked, even though he partially serious.

"I love you so much, Connor Alexander Stevens." I said, leaning forward to whisper it against his lips.

"I love you too, Jude Adams Foster."

The next thing I felt was the blissful feeling of his lips sealing over mine.


	7. Season 1 Finale: Alternate PT. 3.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last part in the three shot.

The evening at the Stevens residence was quiet and calm until it just wasn't. The tranquility was destroyed by a young teenage boy in a panic, as it had been many times during that morning and afternoon.

"DAAAAAD!"

Adam sighed in exasperation and put down the knife he'd been using to chop carrots for the salad. He turned to his wife, Melissa, and sighed again.

"I got him. Finish these will you?" Adam asked, before turning to shout up the stairs, "BE UP IN A MINUTE BUD!"

"Yeah. I've never seen him so nervous." Melissa said, her voice thick with amusement.

"Never seen him this serious about anything either." Adam said, "He's more serious about this boy than he ever even was with baseball."

"He plays baseball for fun though, Adam." Melissa reminded him, "This is his first relationship. Of course he's gonna be more serious about it. Do you remember your first relationship?"

Adam stared off into space for a second. He remembered his first relationship, all too well. It was a subject he didn't talk about.

"Yeah, let's not talk about that." Adam said softly, "It didn't end well."

"But you see my point though, right?"

"Yeah, I do… I just never imagined I'd have to deal with this." Adam said with a sigh.

"What, Connor dating another boy?" Melissa asked.

"Well, yeah."

"Neither did I, this came out of nowhere for both of us." Melissa said carefully, "But it doesn't change anything. He's still the same boy he's always been, even if he is dating Jude. And hey, look on the bright side…"

"What's that?" Adam asked.

"At least we don't have to worry about Connor getting some girl pregnant." Melissa said with a smirk.

Adam laughed at that, and nodded. That was definitely a plus side. He and Melissa had Connor young, and they were barely out of their twenties. Way too young to have grandkids.

Adam jogged up the stairs and down the hallway to Connor's room and knocked on the door.

"Come in!"

Adam opened the door, and was met with the sight of Connor ruffling through his closet with a look of irritation on his face.

"What's the matter?" Adam asked.

"Can't find anything good enough to wear." Connor said bluntly, "Tonight has to be perfect."

Adam snorts. Connor snaps.

"WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?" Connor whines loudly.

"I have never seen you this nervous in your entire life." Adam said simply, "You're usually so… composed about things, but right now you're a nervous wreck. It's a funny change."

"Like I said, tonight has to be perfect." Connor said.

"Connor, you're over thinking things." Adam told him gently, "Tonight is gonna go fine. Does Jude ever care what you wear?"

"Well, no. But…"

"Well then why are you worrying?" Adam asked, "Just wear what you normally wear, although I'd lose the flannel."

"What's wrong with my flannel shirt?" Connor asked confused.

"Trust me, you don't need it." Adam said.

Connor ends up wearing a black t-shirt with his best pair of jeans. He looks at himself in the mirror, and turns to his dad.

"You sure this is good enough?" He asks unsure.

"Yeah, buddy. Now come on. He'll be here any minute." Adam reminded him.

Connor's face drained of color and he checked his watch.

"CRAP!" He exclaimed, "I lost track of time!"

He bolted from the bathroom and down the stairs, leaving Adam staring after his retreating for, shaking his head with silent laughter for a moment before he followed suit.

He joined Connor and his mother in the living room, where Connor was pacing nervously.

"Connor, honey. Calm down okay." Melissa said softly, "It's just a dinner, not your execution. No need to be so nervous."

"I can't help it." Connor responds, "What if something goes wrong? What if dad scares him off? You gotta promise not to try to scare him off!"

"I'm not gonna terrify the kid, Connor." Adam deadpanned, "Jesus, give me some credit, kid."

"Sorry." Connor said, but anything further that he was gonna say was cut off by the doorbell ringing and a knock on the front door, "Oh god, he's here!"

Connor bounced off excitedly towards the front door, leaving Melissa and Adam to try to contain their amused laughter.

"He's like a giant puppy." Adam said bluntly, his voice wavering from the effort required to hold in his laughter.

Connor reached the door and opened it. Jude was wearing a blue button up shirt, and a pair of black khakis. His hair is gelled, just like it was the first time Connor ever went over to Jude's house for their shared science project. Connor stood there and stared at him for a second before moving forward and giving him a hug.

"You look cute." Connor whispered to him.

Jude smiled.

"So do you."

Connor blushed.

"Aw, your both so cute together!"

The boys turned and saw Melissa standing there grinning. Jude blushed even harder and Connor smiled.

"Thanks for inviting me to dinner Mrs. Stevens." Jude said.

"You are very welcome sweetheart." She said with a small smile, "Dinner will be ready shortly."

Then Adam stepped forward, and eyed Jude.

Jude gulped and shuffled closer into Connor's side. Connor rolled his eyes and glared at his dad. Adam winked at Connor, and Jude relaxed.

"Hi, Mr. Stevens." Jude said nervously.

"Good evening Jude." Adam said, "How was your day?"

"Good. Hung out with my family." Jude said, "Been looking forward to this all day."

"Yeah, so has he." Adam said with a laugh, "He's been bouncing around the house since nine this morning."

Jude smiles, and nudges Connor with his shoulder. The two make eye contact, and Connor smiles sheepishly.

"I gotta admit, I was a bit surprised, and a bit apprehensive, when Connor came home and told us he'd asked you out on a date." Adam confessed, "Shocked the hell out of me. This is all new to me."

"Yeah, it shocked me too." Jude admitted. "And this is my first relationship. It's new to me, too. Everything's its own little surprise. Thanks for giving him permission."

"Anytime, kid. Anytime." Adam said, "Just don't hurt him."

"I won't. I promise." Jude said with conviction, "I couldn't ask for a better best friend and boyfriend then Connor."

"Good." Adam said, before turning his attention to Connor, "You picked well, son. He's a good kid."

Connor smiled widely and moved forward to hug his father.

"We're gonna wait upstairs until dinner is ready." Connor said, grabbing Jude's hand and dragging him up the stairs.

"Door open!" Adam and Melissa chorused.

"WE KNOW!" Connor shouted back, ignoring his parents snickering.

The boys arrived in Connor's room, and Jude plopped down on Connor's bed. He looked dazed.

"You okay, Jude?" Connor asked, concerned.

"Yeah, just… this is like a dream or something." Jude said.

"What do you mean?" Connor asked.

"A year ago, this all seemed like a pipe dream." Jude explained, his eyes shining brightly, "A year ago I was in foster care, terrified out of my mind. Now, I'm adopted by the greatest family to ever exist, and I've got a boyfriend. An ACTUAL boyfriend! I never imagined that I'd be able to have those things."

Connor moved forward to pull him into a gentle hug. The two stay in their embrace for a minute before Connor pulls back. He looks into Jude's eyes and smiles softly. Connor leans forward and presses his lips to Jude's gently. The two boys sighed at the feeling of the other's lips moving against there's. Jude pulled back and exhaled a deep breath, smiling at Connor widely, before giggling.

"That's gonna take some getting used to." Jude said softly, "I look forward to it."

"I do too." Connor said with a furious blush.

"BOYS! DINNER'S READY!"

At the promise of food the boys charged from the room, practically tripping over each other in their quest for sustenance.

The dinner passed smoothly, with both parents asking Jude many questions, trying to get to know him better. They asked him how things were going with his family, how he like Anchor Beach, what kind of music he liked, what things he did for fun, etc. Jude, being unused to being the center of attention, found it interesting and answered all of their questions.

The dinner ended with both boys full, and Jude's moms arriving to pick him up.

"I'll walk you out." Connor offered.

"Connor, hang back for a second." Adam asked.

Jude went ahead to wait at the door, while Connor approached Adam.

"What is it, Dad?" Connor asked.

Adam stared at him for a second, before reaching out and pulling him into a hug.

"You chose wisely, buddy." Adam whispered to his son, "Jude will do just fine."

Connor smiled and hugged his dad back tighter before pulling out and returning to Jude. Connor opened the door for him, and the two stepped out and headed down the driveway toward the waiting car.

"Tonight was fun." Jude said.

"Yeah. Dad likes you." Connor agreed.

"I'm glad." Jude said.

The two arrived at the car, and Connor turned to Jude.

"I guess I'll see you at school on Monday." Connor said.

"Yeah." Jude said, leaning forward to place a short peck to Connor's cheek, "See you then."

Connor stood there and waved, watching until the car was out of sight.

At the door, Adam and Melissa stood and watched as a lovesick grin stretched across Connor's face, and the two couldn't help but smile as well.


	8. Superpowers

**_ Prompt: Jude discovers he has superpowers. _ **

Jude had no idea how the hell it had happened. He had been walking home from Anchor Beach by himself, just like he had done so many times before. He was looking forward to getting home and getting on Skype to talk to Connor. It had been a whole year since Connor had left to live with his mom in Los Angeles, and the two were so far succeeding where many had thought they would fail. They managed to keep their relationship alive. The texted throughout the day, the called each other several times a day, they Skype chatted every day, and they visited each other at least three weekends a month, which Connor's mother graciously paid for. The two boys hoped that Connor would be able to move back to San Diego soon, because Adam was finally starting to get fully comfortable with the idea of Connor and Jude being a couple.

Jude was lost in his thoughts, and was texting Connor as he walked, complaining about how much he hated exams. It was nearing the end of eighth grade for the boys, and both were swamped in homework and reviewing for exams.

Things went wrong very quickly, as Jude realized he was being followed. He looked over his shoulder to see three of his classmates following him. It was Blake, Jeremy, and their buddy Austin. As soon as Connor moved, these three boys had made it their personal mission to harass Jude at every available opportunity. Taylor and Daria stood by him, and eventually it escalated into a near full on war. No matter how many times Jude, Taylor and Daria retaliated, they never gave up.

Jude winced as the first slur was thrown, and he knew that he couldn't stand up to them in a straight on fight. His only option was to escape.

It didn't work that well. He had only ran for about twenty seconds when he was caught around the middle and thrown into a wall. He looked up at the three of them as they came at him, jeering at him about how weak he was.

Jeremy landed the first kick, Austin the second, and Blake the third.

Jude managed to get back to his feet, and took a swing at Blake but it missed. He was backed against a wall, he was on the verge of panic, and he was angry as the boys stepped toward him menacingly. He took a desperate, angry swipe with his right hand, and felt a strange sensation. A warm burst of energy washed over his hand and was propelled outwards like a whip. Blake, Jeremy, and Austin's feet left the ground and the three were thrown several yards through the air, impacting the wall opposite them and knocking the unconscious.

Jude stared in shock. He stared at his hand and then back at his three attackers, and bolted from the scene, barely noticing that he wasn't feeling any pain whatsoever.

When he arrived home, he immediately went to his room and locked the door. He sat on his bed and took several calming breaths. It took him almost a half hour to get calm again, and he laid down on his bed, sinking into his sheets. Five minutes later, he felt the feeling of the sheets on his back disappear, and he opened his eyes and discovered that he, and several other objects, were floating in mid air. With a startled yelp, Jude fell back to the bed, and the objects fell to the floor.

Later, after everything happened, he got on Skype with Connor, eager to tell him what had happened.

"Are you serious?" Connor asked in disbelief.

"Dead serious!" Jude exclaimed, "I swung at them and they went flying through the air like ragdolls. Then I got home and went upstairs to relax and the next thing I know, stuff is floating around my room and I'm two feet above my bed! I have no idea how it happened. You gotta believe me…"

"I believe you, Jude." Connor assured with wide eyes, "Look behind you."

Jude did, and his eyes widened as he was met with the site of his PSP floating several feet off the ground.

"Sweet." Jude muttered.

Connor went on to suggest that Jude try to practice with his newfound abilities, and Jude agreed. The next day he went to the beach, telling Stef and Lena he'd be back before dark. He hid under the pier, because he needed someplace private where he could test things without drawing too much attention.

He remembered what had happened during the previous night while he was relaxed. He had been calm, and some of his things had started floating, and he had started floating too. Having an idea, he focused his attention on a large boulder. He held out his hand, and envisioned the boulder lifting from its place on the ground. Nothing happened, and he drew in a calming breath. He concluded that this particular ability was connected to the feeling of calm, of serenity and peace. He calmed himself with a few more breaths, and closed his eyes. It was as if his senses had quadrupled. He could feel the rock without touching it, and he willed the rock to rise. It felt as though warm water was rushing over and out of his hand toward the rock, gripping it, and the rock shakily rose from the ground.

A sound from above startled him, and the rock fell back to the beach with a dull thud. Jude looked up, annoyed at the pigeon that had caused the noise. With an irritated and angry huff, Jude swung his arm out at the boulder, and he felt a familiar burst of warm energy leave his hand. The boulder launched itself off of the beach and out to sea. Jude stood and watched it fall into the sea with a splash, slightly shocked.

"Okay, so anger does that." He thought.

He considered how he had started floating when he was relaxing in his room the night before, and wondered how well he could control it. He concentrated, and it was as if he could see gravity. It swirled around him like serpents tentacles to keep him tethered to the Earth. He reached out with his mind, and demanded that it yield. Slowly, he felt himself lift from the ground.

"So, calmness and panic enables telekinesis and flight, and anger basically gives me force push." Jude spoke aloud to himself.

Slowly, he rose higher and higher until he was almost touching the underside of the pier. He pushed himself to move forward, then backward, then diagonal and side to side.

Jude turned towards the water, and with a smile he pushed himself forward, picking up speed as he went until everything around him became a blur.

Jude had no idea how far he flew off shore, but he stopped with a laugh. He felt blissfully at peace. Just him, the air, and the water.

And then inspiration struck him.

He could fly, and he had telekinesis. He could fly at a speed he was sure eclipsed one hundred miles an hour.

Los Angeles was less than an hour and a half north at that speed..

He could go see Connor.

With a grin, Jude propelled himself forward. After a minute of accelerating, he heard a soft boom from behind him.

"Okay then, supersonic flight then." He corrected himself on his earlier assumption with a grin as he flew north, intent on a rendezvous with the boy he loved.


	9. Season 3A Finale AU: Connor Goes Mute

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Connor goes mute after he and Jude are caught making out shirtless by Adam. (In this AU, Callie's adoption takes place a whole month after the shirtless makeout incident and Connor doesn't decide to move to L.A.).

It had been four days since Jude had seen Connor, and it was finally the weekend. Four days since the two boys had been caught in the midst of making out shirtless by Connor's dad. Tonight was the party, and Connor had texted Jude to tell that he would be there. Jude was sitting in the living room waiting for his boyfriend to arrive. He was worried about what Adam had said to him after he had left, because he was only too aware that Adam was still borderline uncomfortable with the thought of his son being any kind of intimate with another boy.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door, and Jude leapt up to get it. He opened it and was met with the sight of Connor and Adam standing there.

"Hey Connor, Mr. Stevens." Jude greeted, and moved aside to allow them entrance.

Connor smiled at his boyfriend and shuffled past him into the house, giving him a quick hug before running up the stairs to put his bag in Jude's room, taking care to shoot a glare at his father as he went up the stairs.

Jude noticed that Connor was very quiet during the whole exchange. Usually, he was greeted with a bright smile and a enthusiastic hello, usually with a hug or a kiss. Jude turned to Adam, with an eyebrow raised in inquiry.

"What's up with him?"

Adam looked at his feet and sighed.

"I screwed up." Adam admitted, "The other day, when I walked in on you two."

"What did you do to him?" Jude hissed.

"I said some things I shouldn't have said when I got back from dropping you off…" Adam started.

"What things?" Jude asked angrily.

"Trust me, you don't want to know." Adam said, running his hand through his hair, "But I need your help."

Jude sighed and had to restrain himself from either facepalming or kicking Adam in the shin.

"What kind of help?" Jude asked with a irritated air.

"Try and get him to talk." Adam pleaded.

Jude froze.

"Wait, what?"

"He hasn't talked." Adam reiterated, "He hasn't spoke a word since that night."

Jude's heart dropped into his stomach.

"Please tell me you're joking."

"I wish I was, Jude." Adam said sadly.

"God, you… you just can't go a week without making yourself look like an ass, can you?" Jude said, his temper getting the best of him, "You mean to tell me, that because you caught Connor making out with his significant other, something that EVERY BOY THAT AGE DOES, you freaked out and as a result he has gone fricken mute!?"

Adam nodded sheepishly.

"God, you are unbelievable."

"You have every right to be angry." Adam said, trying to pacify Jude, "I saw you two with no shirts on, and I thought… well, you can probably guess."

"What? You… you thought we were about to have sex?!" Jude exclaimed, "I'M THIRTEEN! HE JUST TURNED FOURTEEN! We're way too young for that! Hell, Connor and I have discussed it! Neither of us are anywhere near ready for that yet! Connor said he wouldn't even consider it until we were at least sixteen! You really need to get your rap together with this, because you're gonna end up chasing him away. I've already nearly lost him once because of you, and if I do lose him because of you I will never forgive you and neither will he."

Adam looked thoroughly chastised.

"I will talk to him." Jude finally said after taking few calming breaths, "But I doubt it will do any good. This happened to me once, and I didn't start talking again for almost three weeks."

Without another word, Jude turned on the balls of his feet and stalked up the stairs to join his silent boyfriend in his room.

Adam sighed, and showed himself out.

Jude opened the door to his bedroom, to find Connor sitting cross legged on his bed with his hands in his lap. Connor smiled at him and nodded towards the open door with a raised eyebrow.

"He's gone." Jude answered the unspoken question.

Connor gave a relieved sigh.

"So, your dad said that… you haven't said anything. In four days."

Connor looked at his hands and shook his head. Jude sighed.

"I'm not gonna try to force you to talk." Jude said gently, "I know what it's like, remember?"

Connor nodded, and gave Jude a small smile before holding his arms out to Jude.

"Hug me." The gesture said, and Jude settled on the bed next to him and wrapped an arm around his shoulder.

Jude pulled his boyfriend close, and Connor reached to take Jude's free hand in his. Jude sighed sadly, and tried to will away the tears that were threatening to fall. He hated seeing Connor in pain.

Connor heard the sigh and started tracing words his palm.

"S-o-r-r-y." Connor traced.

"You don't have to apologize to me." Jude said, "You've done nothing wrong."

"M-a-d-e y-o-u   s-a-d."

"It's not your fault Connor." Jude assured him, "It's your dad's fault."

"H-a-t-e h-i-m."

"Don't say that." Jude said gently, "He's just not dealing with it well. He still loves you, he just doesn't get this yet."

"A-n-g-r-y."

"I know you are." Jude said softly, "And so am I. I basically lectured him before he left. Told him to get his shit together or he would lose you."

Connor snorted and pulled out of the side hug. He turned to Jude, and pointed between their lips.

"You want a kiss?" Jude asked in clarification.

Connor nodded eagerly, earning a laugh from Jude.

"You don't even need to ask." Jude said before joking, "Let's keep our shirts on this time though, yeah?"

Connor nodded seriously as Jude leant in and their lips connected softly, and the two resumed what Adam had interrupted four days earlier.

The next day, Adam took Connor to see a psychiatrist, who confirmed that Connor had slipped into selective mutism. The day after that, Jude made a decision. After discussing it with his moms and siblings, he decided that for the time being, he was going to stop talking whenever Connor was around. It was his own way of supporting Connor, and showing him that he didn't need to speak until he was absolutely ready. By the end of Connor's second full week of silence, Jude and him were communicating by reading each other's body language, by watching each other's facial expressions, and when words were needed, they would text, write it out on a piece of paper, or Connor would trace words into Jude's palm. The whole Adams Foster family stood by Jude's decision, and they did their best to make Connor feel welcome and accepted in their home. Soon, Connor was over almost every day and had became a near permanent fixture in the house.

This went on for a month, and during that time, Adam had done everything he could think of to make up for his mistake. He had started attending PFFLAG meetings within the first week, and things were looking up. Things started getting better for Jude when Callie's adoption was approved and a court date set. The day of Callie's adoption finally arrived, and the two boys were supposed to meet at Jude's house before hand. Jude was just getting up, when he received a text from Connor.

_Connor: U up yet?_

Jude smiled, and typed his response, hitting send.

Jude: Ya. Excited! It's finally happeningJ!

_Connor:_ _J. Getting ready 2 head over._

_Jude: Cool._

_Connor: Had a talk w/dad last nite._

_Jude: ?_

_Connor: Well, he talked. I listened… I think he's finally accepted us._

_Jude: Really!?! What he say?_

_Connor: That he was sorry about being an ass, pretty much. Those meetings have done him wonders._

_Jude: I'm glad._

_Connor: I just hope it's 4 real. How do I no he's not just saying these things 2 make me feel better?_

_Jude: I guess we'll see. See u in a bit._

Jude sat his phone down on his bedside table with a small sigh.

Three hours later, the assembled Adams Foster family plus Connor arrived at the court house. They sat in the courtroom and watched as Callie gave her speech, and watched as the judge signed the papers, making the adoption official. The two clapped, and Jude cheered and hugged his sister. Afterwards, Jude looked at Connor and motioned for him to follow him.

Connor joined Jude in the hallway, and took his boyfriends hand in his, allowing himself to be led away from the celebrating family.

Connor raised his eyebrows in a silent question.

"Nothing's wrong." Jude said softly, "I've just got some things I wanna say."

Connor nodded.

"I know things have been hard." Jude began, "They have been since the beginning of our relationship. Things with your dad, the whole labels thing before that. Things have been tough. Over the last few weeks, I have barely spoken a word in front of you. Despite that, we still found ways to communicate. I know you're afraid of the future, and of what's gonna happen. You think that your dad is gonna slip back into his old ways and nothing will have changed."

Connor looked down, his face sad.

"I just want you to know that no matter what, nothing will change what I feel for you." Jude assured him with a small smile, "Nothing will change what we have. Ever. I don't care if you never speak again. I promise you, that I will always be there for you and I will always support you no matter what, because…"

Jude looked straight into Connor's eyes and smiled. He took a deep breath and finished.

"Because… I love you, Connor." Jude whispered, "I. Love. You."

Jude traced the words into Connor's palm, and Connor's eyes widened as he stared. After a few seconds of silence, tears started to fall and Connor hiccoughed a sob as he wrapped his boyfriend in a strong hug. Jude could feel Connor's lips pressed to the side of his head right next to his ear for a moment, before he could feel Connor's breath right next to his ear.

Then, he heard a voice, a hoarse, raspy and quiet voice that was thick with tears, whisper into his ear.

"I l-love you t-too, J-Jude."

Jude tightened his arms around his boyfriend as he heard his voice for the first time in a month. He buried his face into Connor's neck.

Both boys held each other as they both succumbed to tears, but they were happy tears. They both had each other, and they knew that nothing would ever be able to tear them apart.

And anything that tried would be met with a war.


	10. Batshit Crazy Force AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bat Shit Crazy Crack AU based on a fucked up dream I had where the Force exists and Jude and Connor are kidnapped by a Hate Group and Connor reveals himself to be a Sith, and Jude is his "Student".

They had taken them the day before. A hate group that saw Jude and Connor walking hand in hand after a date. They took the two sixteen year old boys and beat them constantly. Connor was forced to watch in agony as his beloved was beaten. He could feel his natural instincts fighting for control, but he kept them buried until he couldn't any longer.

Jude broke down into tears again as a kick was delivered to his chest. The tears were not from the pain, however. They were of anger.

"Bow to your superiors, boy." The woman sneered and gave him another kick.

Something inside Connor cracked. He had been told that he was never to bow to anybody. He had been told by his father, his master, that his heritage must be kept a secret. His abilities would draw too much attention to them, and they would never get any peace, he always said.

_But peace is a lie... there is only passion._

But now, they were hurting the boy he loved, and he could no longer control himself. He was going to destroy them all. He had his weapons hidden up his sleeves. The foolish bastards had never searched him, and that would be there worst and final mistake.

He called upon the Force, and manipulated the locking mechanism of his and Jude's handcuffs to unlock. His handcuffs fell to the floor with no sound. He rose to his feet with a glare and directed it at the woman beating Jude.

"Enough." Connor snarled.

The woman turned to him, and sneered.

"Just don't give up, do ya faggot?" She snarled, "Just don't learn to respect your betters."

Connor chuckled.                     

"You are not my better." Connor purred dangerously, "No man alive is. The only man to claim that title was my father, and he taught me everything he knows and I am now his equal. His name is Adam Stevens. But you all know him by a different name."

Connor smiled evilly.

"His name was Darth Korranis." He said with an evil grin.

Connor reached out with the Force, and grabbed a hold of Jude with it, lifting him and sitting him safely to his rear left.

Simultaneously, everybody's faces drained of color at the show of power. Behind him, Connor barely registered that Jude had started to laugh.

Jude already knew, of course. Connor had told him the truth, tearfully, fearing that Jude would hate him for the fact. Instead, Jude hugged him. Then, he asked to be taught. When Connor asked why, Jude called on the Force to lift a small ball from the dresser on the other side of the room.

"I am Darth Vadonous… Dark Lord of the Sith. And I bow to no man or woman."

Connor held his hand in front of him and drew it into a loose fist. Behind the group, the leader clutched his throat, trying to draw breath and failing.

"LET HIM GO!" The woman screamed.

Connor grinned dementedly.

"As you wish."

Connor clenched his fist tightly, snapping the man's neck with an evil chuckle.

"There goes your precious leader, dead on the floor." Connor purred dangerously, "Now, what am I going to do with you? OH! I know!"

Connor thrust his arm out palm facing forward, and a kinetic wave sent the group of men and women flying into the wall with a sickening crack, pinned there by an unseen force.

"When I am through with you, you will know pain." Connor growled, his voice slowly becoming a snarl, "When I am through with you, you will know the true meaning of the terms _suffering_ and _agony_. When I am through with you, you WILL know the true power of the Dark Side."

As he snarled the final words, Connor allowed his hatred and anger to flow through him, and his eyes ceased to be their normal hazel color. The hazel faded, as his eyes flooded, turning a menacing yellow and red. He turned to Jude, and noticed that his eyes had done the same. With a flick of his wrist, two chrome cylinders slid into Connor's wrists. He tossed one of them to Jude, who caught it as he pushed himself to his feet. Connor thumbed the button on the side if the cylinder, and pressed it.

From the cylinder, a shining white column of plasma and energy sprung forth with a snap-hiss noise, bathing the inside of the old warehouse with a deadly crimson glow. The glow doubled with another snap-hiss, and Connor turned to see Jude holding a similar weapon.

"You can't defend against the Force." Jude hissed angrily, "And you can't defend against a lightsaber."

"You made a mistake. Attacking us." Connor snarled, advancing on the cowering group, "You placed your hands on my beloved. My soul mate. My partner, and my _protégé_. Lord Mortus, shall we?"

Jude flourished his saber with an evil snarl.

"Lord Vadonous, I thought you'd never ask." He purred, and advance, raising his saber and bringing it down on the head of the first man he reached.

The others tried to run. Connor blocked their escape, and grabbed the woman who had beat Jude in a Force grip.

"I will keep you alive until you have felt every ounce of pain that a human could probably endure." Connor promised, his golden orange eyes glinting, "Then, when I've milked every ounce of agony from you, then you will be allowed to die."

Across the room, the rest of the group discovered that their only escape was now blocked as Jude used the Force to bring several shelves and boxes down to block it.

Jude reached them, and raised his saber. It arched and severed the head of one woman who was screaming bloody murder.

Again and again the saber fell.

An hour later, Connor's saber fell for the first and only time to put the woman out of her misery.

The two stepped back, and Jude bowed to Connor.

"No. Don't kneel to me." Connor said gently, kneeling to place his hand under Jude's arm and pull him to his feet, "You are not my apprentice. I have taught you everything I know. You are my equal in every way. Those I love never bow to me."

Jude looked around at the carnage the two had wrought. He breathed, and Connor could see his eyes returning to their normal chocolate brown color as he calmed and his anger receded. Connor could feel his own anger retreating, and knew his eyes were doing the same.

"This still scares me, Connor." Jude said shakily, "How… intoxicating it is. How powerful it makes us. What it makes us capable of. How… how easy it is"

"I know. Me too." Connor said, taking Jude's hand in his, "Come on, we need to get out of here. The police will probably be here soon, and when they see the bodies, they'll know it was done by lightsaber. We can't be anywhere near here when they get here."

The two set out towards the wall, and Connor drew his lightsaber, activating it and plunging it into the wall with one swift move. He carved a hole in the wall, and he and Jude climbed through it. Connor deactivated his saber and the two hid them up their sleeves and broke into a run. The two didn't even spare a second glance behind them as they ran.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I know. This was really fucking stupid. But I had this in a dream last night, and it made me laugh so I wrote it down. Besides, Jude and Connor with lightsabers? Bad ass.


	11. Season 2 Episode 19 AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AU of Season 2 Episode 19. Diverges from canon when Jude turns down hanging out with Connor alone after teepeeing the house. Features an angry slightly OOC Jude.

I watched Jude turn and walk away, and I couldn't help but feel my stomach drop. It wasn't just that Jude was going back on our plan to hang out alone after teepeeing the house. The look on his face was one of stone. It was the face he wore when he was hurt, in turmoil and on the edge of snapping and losing it. I had caused that.

"Jude, wait!" I pleaded, running after him.

He whirled around at me, and I could see in his eyes that he was mad. He marched back up to me and got in my face. I could feel his breath on my lips as he glared into my eyes. Even in this angered state it took everything I had in the way of self control to prevent myself from leaning forward and connecting our lips.

"WHY?" He hissed sassily, "Why should I wait, Connor? Give me one good reason why I should!"

"We need to talk about this." I said quietly, "In private."

"Yeah, I would say we do." Jude snapped.

I turned back to Daria and Taylor, and they were both looking at Jude and I. Daria looked confused, but Taylor had a knowing look on her face that set my teeth on edge.

"You two can go on ahead." I said, "Jude and I are gonna head home."

Jude and I departed without another word to the girls, but we didn't head home. We walked to a park that was only a couple miles away. No sooner had we stepped foot into the park had Jude turned to me.

"I want you to tell me the absolute truth." He said coldly.

"Of course." I said wearily.                 

"Are you and Daria having sex?" He asked bluntly.

I choked on air at his inquiry, and stared at him.

Me and Daria? Having sex? I can honestly say that I had never heard anything so ridiculous.

"Are you absolutely INSANE?" I asked in disbelief, "Of COURSE we're not! We're thirteen fricken years old!"

"How far will you go to maintain this façade? Huh?" Jude pressed on, "Because that's what she wants."

"What are you talking about?" I asked in confusion and irritation.

"She wants to have sex with you, Connor!" Jude exclaimed in frustration, "Even Taylor knows that! Daria has SAID IT! Taylor told me that Daria told her she was dying to lose her virginity! How far are you willing to go to keep up this façade?"

"Not THAT far!" I croaked, "I am thirteen years old, Jude! When I have sex for the first time, it won't be for at least another two or three years, and it won't be with _Daria_!"

"Really, then which girl will it be, huh?" He retorted sarcastically.

"It won't BE a girl!" I snarked.

"Oh really, then who? Some other boy you've just met? Me?" Jude snarked back, "All while you play straight for prying eyes?"

My mind registered what we were talking about, and I couldn’t help but wonder how we got onto this topic. I then took what Jude had actually said, and the image presented itself. I could feel myself blushing. But then what Jude was implying hit me full force and the blush disappeared to be replace by hurt.

"You really think I would do that to you?" I asked, feeling extremely hurt, "You think that I'm still going to be hiding when the time comes? You think that I would have sex with some random boy, or you, and then sideline them to keep my secret?"

"I don't know what you would do, Connor!" Jude cried, "I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this. After you kissed me yesterday, I thought we had moved forward, made some progress, but then today you're still palling around with Daria. I'm sick of it!"

"And what, you think I want this?" I asked irritably, "You think I wanna keep hiding away like this? Living a lie? To keep hurting Daria. You think I wanna keep hurting YOU? Trust me, it is the LAST thing I want to do, but we both know that's the way it has to be!"

Jude stared at me for a second in silence.

"So, what then?" Jude finally asked, tears welling in his eyes, "Do we just forget anything ever happened? Forget the tent? Forget when YOU kissed me again yesterday? Forget it all? Should I just stay away from you?"

"No!"

"Then what…?!" Jude began to retort.

"I DON'T KNOW!" I snapped, "YOU TELL ME, JUDE! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO JUDE? WALTZ UP TO MY DAD, TELL HIM TO GO TO HELL AND THAT I'M GAY AND WANT TO DATE MY BEST FRIEND? DO YOU KNOW HOW BADLY THAT WOULD GO?! I WOULD NEVER BE ALLOWED TO SEE YOU AGAIN, JUDE!"

Silence descended, and so did Jude's jaw towards the pavement. He was staring at me with wide eyes as I finally came unglued and the turmoil that had been churning around inside finally boiled over.

"You don’t think I want to do it?" I ranted painfully, "If you really think this is what I want, hiding behind fear and false bravado, playing the perfect straight kid for my dad, then you don't know a DAMNED THING ABOUT ME! You know how my Dad is. He's to blame! I've always known how he was about this kind of thing! He's always been this way; homophobic, over controlling and condescending! If my Dad wasn't such an ass, I would have asked you out already! I wouldn't have bothered with sneaking around! If it weren't for my Dad, I would have asked you out a lot sooner! I probably would have done it when we were playing with the Ouija board after Frank's funeral! I want it too, Jude. Believe me, I do! I WANT you to be my boyfriend! I WANT to show you off at Anchor Beach and be open and hug you and kiss you whenever I want, but I CAN'T, and I'm so f-fricken s-sorry."

Jude just stood there and stared at me in disbelief.

"You're gay." He stated.

"YES! I AM!" I snapped exasperatedly, "We covered that already!"

"And you want to date me."

"Yes, Jude." I said, a bit of irritation seeping into my voice, "I do."

"I do too." Jude said softly.

"I know you do." I responded, "Or else you would have pushed me away when I kissed you."

I took a deep breath.

"That was the first time I've ever actually said those two words aloud." I whispered, "It feels… freeing. I feel lighter."

"That's good."

"We'll figure something out." I said, "I promise. We won't have to hide forever. Maybe if I called my mom and talked to her about it, she could help us?"

"Maybe." Jude agreed.

"And I promise, I won't kiss her in front of you again." I swore, "I see how you look whenever I do. I won't do that to you anymore."

"How are you going to keep up the act if you don't show her affection in public?" Jude asked.

"With help." A voice from behind us said.

Jude stiffened and his eyes went wide. I whirled around, and I could see Taylor and Daria stepping out from behind a tree. Taylor's face was blank, but Daria's wasn't. It was a myriad of emotions. A small amount of sadness was eclipsed by an inundation of understanding and worry.

"Shit." Jude whimpered.

I staggered back, and I felt my back collide with a tree. I slid down into a sitting position and stared at them.

"How much of that did you guys actually hear?" Jude asked.

"Right after Connor said he was gay and wanted to date you." Taylor answered.

Daria approached me and kneeled in front of me.

"Are you okay?" She asked.

"I should be asking you that." I said nervously, "After what you just heard…"

"I understand." She said, "I've met your dad, remember? I know how he is. He's a real asshole. I see why you're hiding this from him."

I stared at her for a moment, searching her face for anything that could show any form of dishonesty. I found none. Instead I found concern and worry.

"This is why Taylor and I are going to help you both." She continued.

"What?" Jude and I both exclaimed.

"How are you going to do that?" Jude asked confused.

"We're gonna be your beards." Daria stated.

"Our what?" Jude asked.

"Your beards." Taylor said, "Having a beard is what you call it when somebody who is gay dates somebody of the opposite sex to cover up the fact that they're gay."

"I… I think I see where you're going with this." Jude said slowly after a few moments thought.

"At school, you make it look like you're dating me and Jude is dating Taylor." Daria continued, "But behind closed doors, when we're not at school you two can be boyfriends and do whatever you want. That way, Connor's dad still thinks he's straight, and he'll think Jude is straight too since he's _dating_ Taylor which will mean he'll let you two hang out more often. Probably let you have sleepovers again."

"Moms could help us too." Jude interjected as he hopped aboard their train of thought, "If we explained the situation to them they could help us. My house would be a safe place for both of us. We could be as open as we wanted to be there without ever having to worry about Adam finding out."

I looked between the three of them, considering the option. It wasn't ideal, because it still involved a fair share of lying, but it was better than the alternative.

"Fine. Let's do it." I agreed shakily, "We'll talk about it more tomorrow at lunch. For now though, we need to be getting home."

Jude stuck a hand out and helped me to my feet, before wrapping me in a hug.

"I'm sorry I said those things." He said softly.

"They needed to be said." I said.

I hesitated for a moment before pulling back and laying a gentle kiss to his lips. When I pulled away, he stared at me in shock and I couldn't help but smile at him.

"Now we can move forward."


	12. Reconciliation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Takes place after the supposed events of the season 4 premiere.

I thundered into my bedroom, slamming the door behind me. Fury was coursing through my veins with an intensity that I had never felt before. I could not believe what had just been told to me. Moms had called a family meeting, and as I sat on the couch with Mariana and Jesus, we heard Callie and Brandon's confession.

Callie and Brandon had slept together.

They'd had sex before the adoption.

I had barely even let Mom get the words out before I punched Brandon and ran from the room. I didn't spare Callie a single glance, because she had done what she promised me she wouldn't do. She'd ruined another home for us. The best one we'd ever had. I knew what would happen if word of this got out. Moms would get into trouble, probably face charges of neglect or something similar and then we'd all be taken away. Not just Callie, but me, Mariana and Jesus too. Brandon would probably be fine, because he still had Mike. I'd be right back to where I started. Back in foster care, this time with little to no hope of getting out.

Now, I had no one.

After I kissed Taylor in the hallway at Anchor Beach, she stared at me for a few moments before asking what the hell I did it for. When I couldn't come up with a good enough answer, she tried to walk away. I managed to corner her and explained to her in the same way I'd explained it to Callie, she looked at me like I was an idiot.

"So, let me get this straight?" Taylor had said incredulously, "You lost Connor because of long distance. Then Jack was murdered. Now you're taking both of those things as signs that God wants you to be straight so now you're trying to force yourself to be straight. Jude, it doesn't work like that! You're born gay! It isn't just something you can turn on and off. Yeah, God gave us free will, but isn't something you can change! You're doing to me exactly what Connor did to Daria: kissing me to keep up a straight front. I can't do that. I'm sorry."

That was a month ago, and later that day Nick brought a gun to Anchor Beach. He'd shot Monte by accident, and then he'd ran. Later that night he showed up, broke into the house in the dead of night, and scared the daylights out of Mariana. Mom arrested him, and the whole family has been tense ever since. Moms have been trying to deal with the fallout of that ever since, and today was the first real chance they got to tell all of us today's bombshell all at once.

I need to talk to somebody. I need advice, from somebody trustworthy. From somebody who'll be blunt and honest with me.

I looked at my computer.

"Should I?" I asked myself, "I doubt he would want to hear from me. I doubt he would pick up if I did, but… he's the only one I trust right now. Even after how it ended…"

I made my decision, and grabbed my laptop. I set it up on my desk and opened Skype. I hadn't deleted his Skype address, and it said he was online. I clicked.

A full thirty seconds passed. I started to feel dejected, and was about to cancel the call when the screen of the laptop flickered.

His dirty blonde hair was longer, now long enough to look shaggy and curl at the ends. His full lips pressed into a thin line as the hazel eyes belonging to the boy I'd once confessed to love glared back at me.

Connor Stevens did not look happy.

"You've got a lot of nerve, Jude." He hissed, "A month."

I couldn't bring myself to respond.

"You broke up with me over Skype," Connor growled, "After saying it was for the best that we didn't see each other again, because it would be too painful, you call me back after a month?"

"I know." I whispered.

"How fucking dare you, Jude?" Connor snapped.

"I know, Connor. I know." I mumbled sadly.

Connor glared at me through the screen, breathing heavily but otherwise silent. After a minute, he sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose with his right hand, which I took as a sign that he was getting a headache.

"What do you want, Jude?" Connor asked, his voice sounding exhausted.

"I… I didn't know who else to call." I finally said, "I know that things ended badly, and I know that I'm the last person you ever want to talk to again because of how I hurt you, but… you're the only person left that I trust. I know I was wrong. I shouldn't have said those things to you. I shouldn't have broken up with you instead of trying to fix things. You're the only person I know who'll always listen and be honest with me. And after everything that's happened recently, I really need somebody to talk to…"

"Wait, what happened?" Connor asked, and I could tell from his tone that he was struggling to remain civil.

"Where do I start?" I asked tiredly, "There was a shooting at Anchor Beach…"

"Wait, WHAT?!" Connor exclaimed, his cold expression crumbling into one of horror, "A shooting?!"

"Yeah." I said, "Mariana's new boyfriend Nick caught her kissing her old boyfriend Mat and he brought a pistol with him to school the next day. He shot Monte, and then he ran. Showed up at the house that night and snuck into Mari's room. Mom tackled him and now he's in jail."

Connor stared at me, worried.

"Are… are you okay?" He finally asked carefully.

"About that? Yeah." I said with a sigh, "I had nightmares about the gunshots, and I kept remembering when you got shot, but it's gotten better. About everything else though? No, Connor. I can safely say that I'm not alright."

"Why? What else happened?" Connor asked, leaning closer to the screen.

"You remember Jack?" I asked, "You met him before you moved."

"Yeah, the goofy foster kid." Connor recalled carefully.

"Yeah. He, uh… he kissed me." I said softly.

"…Oh." Connor said sounding and looking extremely uncomfortable.

"He was trying to cheer me up." I said quickly, "It wasn't because he wanted to be with me. I was crying about… about me and you, and he was just trying to make me feel better."

"Sounds like a good friend." Connor said tightly.

"Yeah… he was." I sighed.

"Wait… what do you mean he _was_?" Connor asked, "Did something happen?"

"Yeah. Something happened." I said.

"Jude…" Connor asked cautiously, "What happened?"

"He was placed in a new foster home." I said brokenly, "The same one I was in right before I found my family."

"Wait… Pearson?" Connor asked in shock, "They placed him with Pearson?! Are they stupid?"

Connor's face immediately cringed and he put his face in his hands. I'd told him all about my experiences in that home.

"Yeah…" I continued, "Moms got a 911 call. Reports of domestic abuse. When they got there… Mom went in, and he had his gun out. Mom shot him. She… she was the one who found him. He was laying on the floor in the kitchen with a sheet draped over him."

"What?" Connor croaked, "Found him? Jude… he's not….?"

I nodded miserably.

"Pearson shot him. He murdered him." I said, wiping away the tears that had started to fall, "He's gone, Connor."

Connor looked at me, and I saw the moment when the final sliver of coldness in his eyes disappeared and it was the old Connor staring back at me.

"Without you here to help me with this, it's been awful." I confessed, "I've been an idiot. I hurt Taylor…"

"How?" Connor asked.

"I kissed her." I said.

"Wait, huh?" Connor asked confused, "Why the hell would you do that?"

"I was going crazy, I guess." I said sadly, "I figured that… you know, God gave us free will. He'd taken away the only two boys I'd ever liked or kissed, so maybe it was a sign he didn't want me to be gay. So I decided I didn't want to be, and I wasn't going to be."

"So you tried to fake straight and kiss Taylor." Connor finished incredulously, "Jude, if I couldn't do it with Daria what makes you think you can do it with Taylor?"

"I know, I know." I said, "I was an idiot."

"Yeah, you were." Connor agreed, "Jesus Christ, Jude. I'm only out of the loop for a month and everything's gone topsy-turvy."

"Oh that isn't even the worst part." I said with a cringe.

"What could be worse?" Connor asked disbelievingly.

"Callie and Brandon had sex." I blurted.

Connor's eyes widened to the size of a satellite dish and he covered his mouth with his hand.

"Oh shit." He muttered.

"Yeah."

"Jude, this is bad." He said.

"I know."

"If this got out as confirmed, they could take you all away from Stef and Lena." He said horrified.

"I know, Connor." I whimpered, "That's why I'm so scared."

Connor looked at me for a few more minutes before he broke the silence.

"Did you mean what you said, Jude?" He asked.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"That you wish you hadn't broken up with me?"

"Of course I do." I said brokenly, "I loved you… I still do. Even if you don't."

Connor stared at me. Every emotion it was possible to make was flashing across his face. After a five-minute silence, he sighed and made eye contact with me again.

"I will admit, that it was partially my fault too." Connor said, sounding pained, "I should have made more time for you. I should have actually talked to you more. I shouldn't have put my sports before you and I should have visited you more. I shouldn't have sent you that fricken picture. But you shouldn't have broken up with me over Skype, or said any of the things you said that day. So…"

"So… what?" I prompted.

"…So, next time… we talk it out." He demanded, "We don't run from the problem. That's not the way we do things. We face it head on. No more bullshit. We face our issues and we fix them."

"Wait… what?" I asked.

"You said you wished we hadn't broken up." Connor said stiffly, "So as far as I'm concerned, we haven't. Don't get me wrong, I'm still mad at you. Hell, I'm not just mad at you, I'm furious at you… but I'd be lying if I told I didn't love you anymore."

"So we… we give it another try?" I asked hopefully.

For the first time during the conversation, the corner of Connor's mouth quirks into a small smile.

"Yeah. We give it another try." Connor agreed, "We have a lot of talking to do, you and I. Things that we shouldn't do over the phone or Skype."

"I agree."

"And this isn't going to be easy. For either of us." Connor continued, "Our relationship? It's broken, Jude. We can't deny that. It's up to us to fix it."

"I agree. One hundred percent." I said, "I'll make it up to you somehow. I promise."

"I know you will." He said, "Hey, I'll let you go alright?"

"Yeah." I said.

"And Jude?"

"Connor?" I asked.

"It was good to talk to you again." He said softly, "I really did miss you, Judicorn."

I smiled at his use of the nickname.

"Bye Connor." I said softly as the Skype call came to an end.

I shut the laptop and looked at the clock beside the bed. It was noon. I thanked god it was a Saturday before I decided to indulge myself in a nap. I fell asleep, and for the first time in a month, I slept peacefully.

I awoke with a jolt to a knock on my door, and looked at the clock to discover that I'd been asleep for six hours. I rolled over onto my back and stifled a groan as I stretched.

"Come in." I called out, my eyes still closed

The door opened, and I heard footsteps approaching the bed. I heard the sounds of somebody kneeling next to my bed.

"I swear to god, Jesus, if you're trying that stupid shaving cream prank, I'll kill you." I grumbled.

Silence ensued, but it was quickly broken when I felt something soft, and damp pressing against my forehead.

My eyes snapped open, and for the first time in months, I came face to face with the boy I loved. I sat up in bed, threw my arms around him, and started to cry.

"How are you here?" I whimpered.

"Dad brought me down." He said softly, "I called him and explained the situation to him. He drove up to L.A and picked me up. Brought me here."

Hearing that Adam was responsible for Connor's presence in my bedroom only succeeded in destroying what was left of the dam that was holding back the tears.

"It's okay, Jude." Connor whispered as I clung to him, soaking his shirt with my tears, "It'll be okay. I'm here."

"I'm sorry, Connor!" I sobbed, "I'm so sorry! I'll never hurt you again, I swear!"

"I know you won't Judicorn." He soothed, "We'll talk later. Just let it out."

So I did. I cried myself back to sleep in Connor's arms.

I knew there would be lots of tough conversation later. Many arguments, maybe even fights. But I did not care.

I had my boyfriend back.


	13. Reconciliation Part 2

Light was filtering through the windows, and Jude jolted awake. He stared around his room, praying that what happened the day before was not just a dream. When his eyes located the tall dirty blonde boy lying curled up in a sleeping bag on the floor next to his bed, Jude sighed in relief, flopping back onto his bed.

Jude and Connor were finally reunited.

Jude reached out, and with a stretch, he poked Connor's shoulder.

Connor sat bolt upright with a yelp, staring around wildly until his eyes focused on Jude.

"Hey." Jude said softly.

"Hey." Connor replied, his voice even softer.

"I still can't believe you're here." Jude muttered.

"I can barely believe it either." Connor returned.

"How did you convince your parents? What about school?" Jude asked confused, "Your mom can't be happy about you playing hooky to come deal with my shit."

"I'm only missing one day of school, and then we've got a week off." Connor explained, "I won't be missing anything important, and I can make up what I'm missing."

"Oh… okay then." Jude said.

Connor looked at him, and then stood from his spot on the floor. He nudged Jude's foot with his hand.

"Scoot over." Connor said.

Jude scooted over in the bed to make room for him. Almost immediately, Jude cuddled up into Connor's side. A moment later, he realized what he was doing and pulled away.

"Sorry." Jude said.

"It's fine." Connor said softly, "It's comforting… for the both of us, I think."

Jude analyzed Connor's face, looking for any sign of discomfort. Finding none, he resumed his former position and cuddled into Connor's side, burying his face in the crook of Connor's neck. Connor put an arm around Jude, and sighed.

"I really missed this." Jude whispered.

"Me too, Judicorn." Connor said softly, "Me too."

"I'm glad you're here." Jude said, in a voice so soft it bordered on a whimper.

"I know." Connor said, "Now, tell me exactly what has happened while I've been gone. I know there was more detail than what you told me over Skype yesterday."

"Ugh." Jude mumbled, "Are you sure you wanna hear me bitch about it all?"

"Jude, I asked. Talk." Connor said sternly.

"*Sigh*. Okay." Jude said, "Well, I guess I can start with Jack."

"Take your time." Connor said gently.

Five minutes of silence followed as Jude tried to gather the strength to speak of that most dreaded subject.

"He had been staying with us for a while." Jude began, "They shut his group home down. He stayed with us until they could find another placement. He was… he was a weirdo. But it was a good kind of weird, you know? It was endearing. He really cared about people. He helped me a lot, to deal with… with the break up."

"How so?" Connor asked.

"I was crying one night." Jude said, "And he talked to me. Made me feel a little better. Told me he'd never been in love before, but he knew what it felt like to be alone. Then a couple of days later, I was crying again when he walked in."

Connor closed his eyes tight to fight back the tears that were threatening to boil over.

"How many times did you cry over me, Judicorn?" Connor wondered to himself silently.

"He took one look at me." Jude continued, "Pulled me to my feet and put some crazy metal music on the stereo. Told me to let off some steam and started headbanging. He told me to scream as loud as I can, and to just let it out. Go crazy. It worked for a minute, but then my thoughts started coming back, and I burst into tears again just as the song was ending. He sat down next to me on the bed, and not even ten seconds later he gives me a kiss."

Connor stiffens.

"It was short. Chaste." Jude continued, "He did it to comfort me, I know that now. He apologized for it before he left to his new home. I hugged him and watched him leave. That was the last time I ever saw him."

"Then he was placed with Pearson?" Connor guessed.

"Yep. Right in one." Jude mumbled with a glower on his face, "It was all because of privatization in the system. That's why he was allowed to foster another kid."

"That's fricken stupid." Connor deadpanned.

"Yeah…" Jude continued, "It was the night of the big Romeo and Juliet performance. Mom was called in to respond to a domestic violence call. I'd been texting Jack all day on the phone we'd all chipped in to get him so we could keep in touch. He wasn't answering and I was starting to get a little worried. Anyway, Mom went in, and Pearson had his gun out and was waving it around. He pointed it at her and she fired on him. After they had him taken care of, they went into the kitchen. There was a body lying on the floor covered in a sheet, and it was Jack."

"I'm so sorry, Jude." Connor said, laying a small kiss to the top of Jude's head, causing Jude to shiver at the show of affection.

"Mom called Momma as soon as she got off call." Jude continued, "Told her not to send me to bed yet, and that she had really bad news. She gets home; she and Lena sit me down on the couch in the living room. She tells me what happened, exactly like I told you… and I lost it."

"What do you mean, you lost it?" Connor asked.

"I just stood up. I walked out of the room, up to my bedroom, and then I screamed." Jude said darkly, "I don't remember anything else from that night. I blacked out, apparently. I woke up the next morning downstairs on the couch. Everybody was down there with me. Moms, all of my siblings, even Mike and AJ were there. It only took me a minute to remember, and I just felt numb. I went upstairs to my room, and the place was trashed. My bookshelf was tipped over. Books were laying everywhere and my alarm clock was in pieces because I apparently threw it at a wall. The blinds on the windows were hanging crooked. Everything that was on my desk and bedside table was on the floor. Just about the only things that were where they were supposed to be were the Star Wars drawings you drew for me that I tacked to the wall."

"Jesus. Remind me to never piss you off." Connor said jokingly.

"Oh please. Like I'd ever hit you." Jude snapped.

"I know that." Connor interjected quickly, "I was just joking. Calm down."

"I know. Sorry." Jude said, taking a calming breath, "And then after his funeral, I tried to make myself straight, and I tried to justify my stupid _straight phase_ by saying that God took away the only two boys I'd ever kissed, who'd ever liked me." Jude said sadly, "Callie tried to talk some sense into me, but I wasn't listening. I was angry and it made me delusional. I accused her of lying because _that's what she always did_. And now we found out just how _much_ she fucking lies…"

"Jude!" Connor scolds, "I know you're upset, but that kind of talk isn't gonna help. Calm down."

"How can I calm down?" Jude asked angrily, sitting up and looking down into Connor's face, "She went too far this time, Connor. She had SEX, with Brandon, at Idyllwild after his big performance. It was before the adoption even happened, Connor! She lied to the judge, to the courts, to Moms, to me! She's lied to all of us, and she's been lying to us since before you left for Los Angeles! Then she, Brandon and Moms sit me down to tell me about it, and Callie tries to feed me some shit about how she figured that adoption wasn't going to happen so it wouldn't matter in the long run. I'm tired of her lying, Connor. And now, after Callie shot down the privatization bill, that bitch Justina Marks somehow found out about her and Brandon, and Callie got ambushed by a reporter at Anchor Beach, and then she told Moms."

"I get that you're mad." Connor said slowly and calmly, as if talking to a wild beast that was poised to attack, "I am too. I wanted to scream at them too, because let's not mince words here. This is a really bad situation. If it gets out that it's not just a rumor, there are going to be some serious consequences. They could revoke Callie's adoption. I don't know if it could happen, but they might try to charge Stef and Lena with neglect or something and deemed unfit to parent children, and then you, Mari, Zeus, and Callie all go back into foster care. I mean, you'd always have a place with me obviously. I'd hide you under my fricken bed if I had to, but… still."

"I know. You really can't describe this situation without the word _cluster_ in it." Jude deadpanned, "I was so mad when Moms finished talking that I punched Brandon in the face."

"Ah. Well, that explains Brandon's black eye then." Connor said understandingly.

"Wait, what?" Jude sputtered in shock, "Black eye?"

"Yeah. Nasty looking too." Connor said, "You must have a mean right hook. Who knew?"

"I didn't." Jude said, "I've been angry since the shooting a week ago… Oh, right. I didn't even BEGIN to rant about that yet."

"Oh god." Connor muttered under his breath.

"Oh yeah." Jude said, "Apparently months ago, about the time of our Gay Prom, Mariana cheated on Mat with Callie's ex boyfriend Wyatt. Now, she had a new boyfriend. Guy called Nick. But Mariana and Mat were still in love, so Mariana kissed Mat in our garage after the performance the night Jack died. Nick saw it and went batshit crazy. He burnt the warehouse where they performed the musical to the ground and then he came to school with a pistol. Monte was leading my class out of the building, and he turned the corner and saw us. I think he was aiming for me, but Monte stepped in front of me. He got spooked and ran. He broke into the house later that night. Snuck into Mari and Callie's room, scared the shit out of Mariana. Mom tackled him, and Mariana kicked the gun away. It was nuts. I have nightmares about the shooting. The old nightmares of when you got shot came back too."

"Jesus." Connor whimpered, clinging to Jude just a little bit tighter as the realization of just how close Jude had come to dying struck him with the force of a missile, "Is Monte…?"

"She's alive." Jude said, "She lost a lot of blood, but she'll recover."

"That's good." Connor said, exhaling a relieved breath.

More uncomfortable silence followed, because both boys knew what was next.

Now, it was time to fix what they had broken.

"Look, I know neither of us is really looking forward to this…" Connor began, "But it's time we talked. About us. About fixing us."

"*Sigh*. You're right." Jude muttered sadly, "Where do we even start."

"I guess… with where it all went wrong." Connor provided.

"I don't hold you going to L.A. against you." Jude said quickly, "Not really. I get why you did it. Didn't mean I liked it, but I understood. I still do."

"That's what my dad keeps telling me." Connor said dryly before affecting a near pitch perfect mimic of his dad's voice, "He tells me: _I get it, Connor. I get why you left. I was an asshole, to both you and Jude. You have no idea how sorry I am. How much I wish I could take it back._ Ha. I'd heard it all before."

"That's another thing I didn't get." Jude said, "You never even bothered to try to fix things with your dad. You never tried to fix things so you could come back. If you'd have tried, you might have got somewhere. Hell, he apologized to me in person! He was crying and he gave me a hug, right by my locker at Anchor Beach! He misses you."

"I know he does. Well, now I do, anyway." Connor said, "He drove up to L.A just to bring me down here to fix things with you. Told me if I didn't fix things I was a damned fool. If that doesn't show a change on his part I don't know what does."

"He actually said that?" Jude asked with barefaced shock.

"Yeah, he did." Connor said, "Seems to be a month of people I love saying things to me I never thought they'd say."

Connor gave Jude a pointed look, and Jude winced.

"What you said that night, Jude…" Connor said sadly, "After we hung up the Skype call, it felt like… it felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest and stomped on. Like everything we went through together was all for nothing."

"I'm sorry…"

"I want you to be honest with me, Jude." Connor said sternly, "Do you really believe that the only reason we got together was because we were the only two gay boys in our grade?"

"… Not anymore. I don't think I ever really did." Jude said quietly, "You were right. We were friends first. You wore nail polish in my defense, you stood up to bullies on my behalf, and you basically became my protector. We fell for each other, and we fought like hell to get together. I just… I missed you. Without you here, I didn't have anybody else. And I guess… I guess I was angry and I was trying to rationalize what I was thinking. I know that it was more than that, I just… you leaving, you never coming back to visit, you joining so many sports that took all of your weekends up and meant I could barely ever visit you… it all just seemed like I wasn't important anymore."

Connor stared at Jude for a moment before sighing sadly.

"I… I understand." Connor said, "And I get what you meant when you said I didn't feel like your friend anymore, and you were right, I guess. I should have made more time for you. I should have visited you more. I should have called and Skyped more. We should have actually talked more. "

"Agreed." Jude said.

"I shouldn't have sent that picture…" Connor started to say.

Jude snorted and turned red.

"Yeah, let's not talk about the picture, yeah?" Jude stammered as he blushed.

"Why, was it that bad?" Connor asked insecurely, "I don't know why I let the guys talk me into doing it…"

"Just because all of the guys did that for their girlfriends doesn't mean you need to do it for your boyfriend, Connor." Jude said chastising, "That stuff would have came in its own time. We've always gone slowly with this kind of thing. We didn't kiss again after that time in my bedroom until a week after we got together. And, the picture wasn't bad… I told you that during the Skype call. It wasn't that I didn't like it, because I'll admit it. I did. You are built like an Adonis and it's hot as hell, Connor. But it just seemed like our relationship was moving ahead too fast, and that picture made it seem like you wanted to have sex. Which, you never gave me a straight answer to that question."

"I can't give you a straight answer to that question, though." Connor confessed, "I mean, we're teenagers. I turn fourteen in a little over a week, you turn fourteen in November. We're at that age where stuff like that starts looking tempting. We were already progressing a bit down that road before I moved. Hell, everything went wrong because Dad lost his shit after he caught us making out with no shirts on."

"Maybe that was a sign, though." Jude argued, "Maybe it was a sign that were going too fast."

"Maybe it was." Connor agreed, "So let's agree, that this time we'll take it slow. VERY slow. We aren't the same boys we were before. We need to get to know each other as a couple again before we even consider anything sexual."

"I know this isn't the time to ask it, but… have you ever thought about it?" Jude asked, "Us having sex."

"Um… yeah." Connor admitted, "I have thought about it, but that doesn't mean I'm ready for it. Because I'm not."

"That's what I thought the picture meant." Jude said, "I thought it meant you wanted to do it. So after I got the picture from you, I asked Jesus about sex. I didn't know how we'd do it. He told me to watch porn so I'd know how to do it. I did, and it really freaked me out."

"Well that's a mistake right there." Connor said seriously, "Never take Jesus's advice on relationships. His track record on the subject is an abysmal disaster."

"Yeah. You're right." Jude agreed.

"And it wouldn't be like in those videos. If it was us." Connor said, "They're always so mechanical. No emotion whatsoever. It's creepy. You and I love each other. When that time comes, VERY far in the future, it won't be like that."

"I know." Jude agreed.

The boys lay in silence for a few minutes, before Connor breaks it with a big sigh.

"Let's just put all of that behind us, okay?" Connor proposed, "We'll start from the beginning. We have all of the next nine days to work on it."

"Sounds like a plan." Jude said before pausing slightly, "What are you going to do about your dad? He is trying really hard Connor. He misses you, a lot. Hell, he even showed up to Jack's funeral to check in on me."

"Wait, he did?" Connor asked with shock filling his voice and face.

"Yeah." Jude said, "He's getting better. You could give him another chance."

After a moment of contemplative silence, Connor spoke up.

"Maybe this summer." Connor said softly.

"Why so far away?" Jude asked sadly.

"Well, it's October now, so it's too late into eighth grade to do anything about it now." Connor explained, "My plan is, since my school in L.A isn't a charter school… When my two and a half month summer vacation comes around in June I'm going to come down here. If, after a month, my Dad and I haven't killed each other and he proves that he's changed permanently, I'm going to stay. Lena has already told me that she can get me back into Anchor Beach if I needed her to. If everything doesn't work out, then back to Los Angeles I go."

"So, if all goes well, you'll be back for good by the time freshman year starts?" Jude summarized.

"Yeah." Connor agreed, "I know that's a long time away. It's another eight months, but things will be different this time. Football and soccer seasons are over, so I'll have more free weekends, so we'll get to see each other more often. I'll call you every day after school. We'll actually talk to each other this time."

"Agreed." Jude said, "Yeah… this could work."

"Yeah. It could." Connor said, reaching out and lacing their fingers together.

It was then that Jude noticed that Connor's fingernails were black. Jude grinned as he brought the hand close for examination.

"Taking a leaf out of my book are we?" Jude asked teasingly, "I haven't painted mine since we got together."

"I like it." Connor said, "I alternate colors."

"How often do you do it?" Jude asked.

"At least twice a week." Connor revealed sheepishly, "Like I said, I like it, so I figure why not, right?"

"Yeah." Jude said as he made a snap decision and reached into the drawer of his bedside table to withdraw the small bottle of blue nail polish he had stored there, "You wanna paint mine? I'm a bit out of practice."

Connor laughed, and nodded.

As the boys sat on the floor of Jude's bedroom, talking as Connor gently applied the nail polish to Jude's fingers, both boys knew that they would be okay. Their relationship may be cracked, but they were both willing to fight to keep it from falling apart again. Sure, there were still many fights, arguments, and trouble ahead of them.

Now, though, they knew they had many laughs, many jokes, many dates, and many kisses to look forward to as well. And that is all the incentive the boys needed.


	14. Band Interview (Future Fic)

**_Band Interview. Rolling Stone, Issue: December 2035._ **

**_Band: Crazy People._ **

**_Interviewed:_ **

**_Lead Vocals/Songwriter: Jude Stevens._ **

**_Bass Guitar/Backing Vocals/Songwriter: Connor Stevens._ **

**_Lead Guitar/Backing Vocals/Songwriter: Dexter Vance._ **

**_Rhythm Guitar/Backing Vocals/Songwriter: Daniel Wright._ **

**_Drums/Backing Vocals/Songwriter: Jesus Adams Foster._ **

**_******************************************************************************_ **

** Transcript: **

**_ Question: How early did you know that you wanted to form a band? _ **

**Jude _:_** It's a long story so sit tight and listen…

None of us ever really ever expected to form a band.

Fuck no. Hell, after the beginning of eighth grade, I never expected to see Connor Stevens again. At the time, I did not want to, either. We broke up over Skype, and after that the only time I spoke to him without arguing (for a while anyway) was when I texted him terrified during a lockdown situation at school. I felt abandoned. I was heartbroken, and I was angry. God was I fucking angry. Then about a month later my new best friend and new crush, Jack Downey, was murdered. He was a foster kid, and he was placed with a man called Jim Pearson, a deplorable, violent, slimy, drunken, bigoted troglodyte of a man who was the last foster parent I ever had before I found my forever home. He should never have been allowed a foster license. The slime should have been fucking executed. He beat the shit out of me, a defenseless twelve fucking year old boy, because he caught me wearing one of his ex-wife's old dresses in a moment of boredom induced dress up. Anyway, I'm getting sidetracked.

Between September of 2014 and August of 2017, Connor and I only spoke about two dozen times. When we broke up, it was over Skype and ended after a shouting match that resulted in him hanging up after telling me to go to hell. Things were said, and feelings were hurt, and we were both left heartbroken and alone. Every single time I contacted him after that, was basically because I called him drunk. I tried to go straight, and when that failed, I got pissed at myself and lost it for a while. Got mischievous, got into a lot of trouble. Caused mischief, started acting out, threw a couple of parties when Moms were out of town. Once high school started, so did high school parties. High school parties almost always have cheap beer and other cheap alcohol. My older brother Jesus was relatively popular at our school, and he was always invited to these parties.

So one time, after I employed every ounce of blackmail and bribery I could muster, he brought me along. I was a lightweight. I could barely hold my drink. I had two beers and it got me tipsy, but I didn't stop drinking. I must have had eight beers before, and I think vodka, before I blacked out. Woke up the next morning at home in my own bed with an ungodly headache, and Jesus told me I called Connor and left a scathing voicemail. It was only the first of many. I became a permanent fixture at those parties. At least once every two months, I'd go with Jesus, get smashed, and end up drunk dialing Connor to bitch. He never picked up once, it always went to voicemail.

… Then the first day of my junior year of high school rolls around. I'm a completely different person than I was in middle school. I'm broody. I'm angry. I get into fights. I don't give a single solid shit what anybody thinks of me, everybody knows that, and everybody was scared of it. Until, that is, I walked into my first hour poetry class that day and discovered that Connor was sitting in the back row glaring at the whiteboard.

First words outta my mouth were, "What the fuck are you doing here?"

He didn't respond. He just glared at me, then he tries to ignore me and I get pissed and tackled him out of his seat. We get hauled out and thrown into the ISS room. ISS stands for "in school suspension", by the way. We sat there and ignored each other for an hour and a half before he broke the silence. What was said between us in that room that day will remain between us, and only us. Nevertheless, I will say that we fixed things, and when the vice principal, who was my mom Lena, arrived to check on us, she found us making out over the room's main desk. I had my boyfriend back. I found out soon after why he was back in San Diego at all. Connor originally moved out to live with his mom in L.A because his father, Adam, just couldn't accept Connor as gay. He just couldn't get it, and it ruined their relationship for a long time.

We always joke that we pulled the short stick in the bio parents department.

My dad killed my mom and two others in a drunk car crash and I had a litany of bad foster parents.

Connor's dad was… difficult.

He was the typical bullheaded macho dad, who always knew best, and wouldn't hear a word that went against his own preconceived ideas on anything, especially sexuality, masculinity and heteronormativity. He pushed Connor to be the stereotypical straight jock. He saw me patting Connor on the back once, assumed it meant I was gay, and banned him from being friends with me. About a month later, the incident occurred that ended with Connor being shot in the foot, a story everybody has heard a billion times so I'm not going to repeat it. It was only thanks to my mom, Lena, talking some sense into Adam that I was allowed in to see Connor that day. That was the day we started dating, and the rest of it is history. Private history. Then one day he caught Connor and I making out with our shirts off and threw a fit, and Connor finally had had enough. A month later, he left to Los Angeles to live with his mom, something he later came to regret.

It was Los Angeles. Everybody there had demons. If you lived in L.A and didn't have demons, you didn't belong there. Connor's mother, Angela, was no exception. She had her demons, too. She was self-medicating. She had always been prone to migraines. Everybody'd known that. She was on a ton of meds for it, but the amount of relief they provided wasn't to Angela's liking. They didn't do enough, so she started taking more. Then she started drinking vodka, and somehow that all evolved to her crushing her meds and snorting them, which is extremely fucking stupid, and extremely fucking dangerous. Then she added cocaine to the mix.

One afternoon during the summer before junior year, Connor walked in on his mother snorting up, and he lost his shit. This was the second time one of his parents had failed him, and he was furious. He screamed at her, threw shit at her, and then called his Dad. Within a week, he was back in San Diego for good. This is not to say that he and Adam were back on the best terms. Oh nonononono. Far from it. For the first two months he was home, I hardly saw him say two words to his dad. It was only after Adam finally proved that he completely accepted Connor's sexuality and relationship with me that they had anything resembling a father son relationship. And boy, did Adam have to jump through a billion hoops to satisfy us and gain our trust.

I know that my moms and my siblings assumed that with Connor back, I would start to act more like my old self, and that he would be enough to curb my more mischievous and rebellious tendencies. Oh, no. Not even close. That did not fucking happen. I was angry at the world. The world was hell, and I hated it. So, I rebelled. I acted out. I wasn't interested in sitting by and being the goody-goody kid anymore. I was pissed and the state of the world, the US in particular, continued to piss me off more and more with each passing day. So I kept acting out, only this time I had a 210 lb muscular, pissed off jock boyfriend at my side. If anything, my rebellion got worse.

We kind of fed off each other's anger, and it fuelled our need to go against what everybody else in society thought was appropriate. Our classmates were scared of us, so we did everything we possibly could to make our classmates uncomfortable. Our teachers, except for one or two, couldn't stand us, so we pissed them off whenever we could. Jesus joked once that Connor and I had become Anchor Beach's first outlaws. He wasn't far off, either. We did nothing to discourage this notion either. We liked it.

We still kept up with our schoolwork, just to spite our teachers and piss them off even more. Here we are, Connor and I are practically delinquents in their eyes and we're acing all of our classes. The only class either of us actually liked was our poetry and creative writing classes. I did show choir for two years, and we went all the way to the national competition before we got second place behind one of the infamous show choirs from Lima, Ohio.

It was in our poetry class that Connor and I wrote our first lyric. The teacher had given us our assignment to write original pieces of our own, in either groups or by ourselves, using the word debauchery as inspiration. Before the teacher even stopped talking, Connor passed me a slip of paper, and on the back of it was written:

**_Wake up in a basement  
As you drown in piss and shit._ **

I thought about it for a second before adding to it:

**_You figure you'd be smarter,  
But you just can't seem to quit._ **

These four lines eventually became the song "Punk".

We still had no ideas about starting a band. Absolutely none. The band wasn't even our idea when it did become a possibility. Connor had a couple of buddies in show choir, named Danny and Dexter. Danny was a quiet but goofy kid with long black hair who dressed like his hero, Izzy Stradlin. Teachers hated him, but everybody else thought he was cool. And he played guitar, again just like his hero. Dex played guitar as well, but his style was much flashier and lead oriented than Danny's groove. He had long, outrageously curly ginger hair that he always tried to tie back in a ponytail, and while Connor was in L.A he picked up the bass guitar as a hobby, and he got pretty good at it. I couldn't play shit. Still can't. I sing.

It was about a week into senior year that the band began. It was the first Saturday of the year.

I was looking for Connor. We were meant to meet up and go out to eat, and he never showed up. He'd never stood me up before, so I went to his house to look for him. Adam told me that he was hanging out at Danny's with him and Dexter, and I got angry because my idiot mind drew the conclusion that Connor was cheating. I stomped over to Danny's place, and Danny's mom said they were in the garage. I barged in ready to kick Danny's ass, but they were jamming. Connor had his bass, Danny and Dex their guitar, and they were jamming. They'd just lost track of time, and I'd been worried for nothing. They had the drum tracks playing over the stereo that was barely audible over the guitars and bass. They were jamming covers of GN'R [Guns N' Roses], later era Metallica, and Motley Crue.

I joined in and started singing and during a pause Dex turned to me and said, "What do you think about starting a band with us?"

I was intrigued, and Connor was intrigued so I said, "Let's jam a bit more and see what happens." So we did, and we had a great time. Snuck a couple of beers and smoked some of Danny's dad's pot. It was great. Danny showed me something he'd wrote that read:

 _**Because you're a punk,** _  
_**(You're a punk!)** _  
_**Your life's just one big** _  
_**Piece of fucking junk.** _

I kind of froze reading that, and I pulled out a slip of paper from my pocket. It had the verse Connor and I had written back in junior year. I showed it to Danny, and told him, "We could put these two together. Use yours as a chorus." He smiled so wide that he looked maniacal. We started writing together immediately and before you know it, our six lines became:

 _**Wake up in a basement** _  
_**As you drown in piss and shit.** _  
_**You'd figure you'd be smarter now** _  
_**But you can't seem to quit.** _

_**Because you're a punk,** _  
_**(You're a punk!)** _  
_**Your life's just one big** _  
_**Piece of fucking junk.** _

_**So, swill a deadly cocktail** _  
_**Made of vodka, coke and pills.** _  
_**Choke it down you fuckin' swine,** _  
_**It'll help you with the chills.** _

_**Because you're a punk,** _  
_**(You're a punk!)** _  
_**Your life's just one big** _  
_**Piece of fucking junk.** _

_**And now days are long,** _  
_**And nights are longer.** _  
_**The high's worn off,** _  
_**You need it stronger.** _

_**Because you're a punk,** _  
_**(You're a punk!)** _  
_**Your life's just one big** _  
_**Piece of fucking junk.** _

_**Choking on your vomit,** _  
_**As you lay in bed and sweat.** _  
_**You're so sick, and need to quit,** _  
_**But you didn't care a bit.** _

_**Because you're a punk,** _  
_**(You're a punk!)** _  
_**Your life's just one big** _  
_**Piece of fucking junk.** _

Half of it basically was Connor's ranting at his mother. I know the whole line about the cocktail of vodka, cocaine and pills was a direct shot at her. He was still so mad at her. Stayed that way for a long fucking time. It was like pulling teeth to get them in a room together. He would say she abandoned him, she would say he abandoned her. It was a fucking mess.

Anyway. We agreed that playing together was fun and worth it. We still didn't have a drummer though. We didn't know anybody who played. We end up finding our first drummer, Calvin, by accident. We were walking past the band room at school, and he was inside messing around with the drum kit. We stepped inside and watched, and when he noticed us he thought we were gonna beat him up. Instead, Connor asks him if he knows how to play "Mr. Brownstone" by GN'R. He looked confused, but he picked his sticks back up and started playing through the song. We all shared a look, and we knew that he would fit in just fine. Dex asked him if he wanted to be in a band with us, and he thought we were joking. That night, after we made sure he knew we weren't joking, he jammed with us. That was how the band was born. We came up with the name that night too. My mom Stef called us a bunch of crazy people, and we all looked at each other. Danny smirked, and we all nodded, and that's how the band was named "Crazy People".

**_ Question: Do you guys remember your first show? _ **

**Connor:** *snort*. Yeah, unfortunately. It was at this little rundown place in West Hollywood. The place was a fucking mess. I remember the toilet in the bathroom was cracked, the sink was practically falling off the wall. The place smelled like shit and beer. I'm surprised the health department hadn't shut the place down yet. We only got the gig because the owner of the place was the uncle of our old friend Daria. We were still in school when we played that show. We all drove up one weekend to play it.

 **Jude:** We had rehearsed our asses off for that show. We stayed up until two in the morning the night before going over the set with a fine toothcomb. It started off fine. We got to about our third song, when things started going wrong.

 **Danny:** It was the middle of the song, during the solo, and Dex's amplifier starts crackling. We ignore it, and ten seconds later it makes this ungodly bursting sound. Then the fire alarm goes off and we realized that the wiring in the amp had sparked and caught fire. They evacuate, and the shows over.

 **Jude:** We still got paid, that's all we cared about. As soon as we graduated high school we all headed back to Los Angeles. We played our first show as residents of Los Angeles at the Troubadour. I will point out that the L.A rock scene was almost dead at the time we started. But not three weeks after we played that first show, We got word of three or four other bands that had started.

 **Dexter:** We learned a lot from that first show. We learned that you have to be prepared for anything.

**_ Question: How were things before you got signed to a label? _ **

**Jude and Connor:** Absolutely horrible.

 **Danny:** With help from our parents, we all rented a small apartment in West Hollywood. Five of us living in one apartment, and it only had one fucking bedroom, that Jude and Connor both claimed since they're a couple. Dex, Calvin and I both slept on either the couch or air mattresses.

 **Dexter:** We destroyed that apartment. One time, Danny and Calvin got into it and Danny threw Calvin onto the coffee table, it shattered into a billion pieces. Calvin grabbed Danny and threw him through the bathroom door. Literally, through it. We all had our knockdown drag out fights. About the only people who didn't throw punches at each other were Jude and Connor. Needless to say, we never got our deposit back.

 **Connor:** Besides me, none of them had jobs for a while, and nowhere would hire the others. I worked part time in a fucking McDonalds. Any money I ever got went towards rent. We were lucky enough that we made friends with the owner of this small deli. He was this fifty-year-old Irish guy named Rory. He would hook us up with food when we needed it. Eventually, I quit McDonalds, and all five of us ended up working for him. He paid us with food as well as money. We'd all work all day and then at the end of the night he'd give us something to take home and eat. Any money that didn't go toward rent, we used to buy cheap beer.

 **Jude:** It probably wasn't our finest idea… but we had fun. We would work all day, go home and eat, and then we'd set up our instruments in the basement of the building and practice for a bit, then we'd go back upstairs and write, and then we'd drink and pass out. Rinse, lather, repeat.

 **Danny:** Rory, god bless him, he pretty much saved us. He died last year, sadly. We all attended his funeral. He was our guardian during the early years, and we never could have thanked him enough.

**_ Question: What was it like after you got signed to a label? _ **

**Connor:** We got a better apartment. A better rehearsal space. We got better instruments. We ate better. We liked it.

 **Jude:** The day we signed the deal, they called us all in and showed us the amount of money we'd be given for our advances, and we all nearly had heart attacks. You know? We went from having nearly no money at all, to having $25,000 in our bank accounts. We didn't know what to do with ourselves.

 **Dexter:** We're a bunch of 18, 19 year olds who'd just been handed a small fortune, so the first thing we did was throw a massive party at our new place. Jude's brother Jesus came up from San Diego and brought a ton of booze with him.

 **Jesus:** I remember getting that call from Jude. I could barely understand what he was saying. All I could make out was that they'd signed the deal a week before, and they had money and were throwing a party at their new place. I went out and got a ton of liquor, living up to my reputation as the impulsive and irresponsible one of the Adams Foster siblings. The party was wild.

 **Jude:** I woke up the next morning on the roof of the house, with nearly no memory of the night before, other than that it was a party. I'm being dead serious. I climbed down with a massive headache and headed inside. I tripped over Jesus walking in the door and fell on him. He'd passed out in front of the door, apparently. The furniture was overturned, there were empty liquor bottles all over the floor. I found empty pizza boxes on the table with lyrics written on the back of them. I found Connor passed out in the bathtub, and Dexter was curled up around the toilet moaning. I went into the kitchen to get a bottle of water, and when I opened the fridge 90% of its contents was alcohol. I went around and woke everybody up, because we were due in the studio to start recording in less than two hours.

 **Danny:** Yeah, we all went into our first recording session hungover to hell. Good times.

**_ Question: What was it like when you were writing and recording your first album? _ **

**Connor:** The first thing a lot of us did was buy new instruments. Jude bought a few new microphones. My bass was on its last legs, so I bought three Fender Precisions, one with four strings, one five string, and one six string. Danny replaced his old Fender Telecaster. That thing served him well, but a Telecaster is not the kind of guitar you play our kind of music on. He replaced it with a Gibson Explorer, a Gibson Firebird, a Les Paul and a BC Rich Mockingbird. We all bought new amp stacks. Calvin bought a whole new kit. Once we were ready, we went straight into the recording studio we were going to use, and started recording. When we went there. We spent almost every minute of every day throwing out ideas.

 **Jude:** Connor and I had a lot of things written in this little leather bound black book before the band even started, a lot of which ended up on the first record in some way, shape or form. Five of the twelve songs on the record were the ones I had written that we all deemed worthy without changing the lyrics. The rest of the album contains bits and pieces from the book, but some of the stuff we all decided should be left as the poems they started as.

 **Dexter:** We finished the lyrics before we actually arranged the music. Jude had next to nothing to do with the actual music writing, because he didn't play an instrument and he couldn't read sheet music either. The actual recording of the songs got pretty emotional.

 **Danny:** Connor's stuff was very personal to him, so he was very nervous and a little scared about actually recording it. He and Jude got really emotional when we were recording _Punk_ , because that was the first song we ever wrote and played together, and the lyrics were extremely personal. If you listen closely to the song on the album, you can tell that Jude is a bit choked up while he's singing it, because he was actually crying while he laid down the vocal tracks. The emotion is so raw in his voice, it just makes the song that much more powerful.

**_ Question: What was the mood like when your first album was released? _ **

**Connor:** Excitement for about two weeks and then disappointment.

 **Jude:** It debuted at 162 on Billboard 200. Sold maybe two thousand copies. This is pathetic, frankly. The record company was getting nervous, because they'd invested a ton of money in this derelict, fucked up, dysfunctional hard rock band, and it wasn't going anywhere. We played a twelve-show tour of dates on the west coast. We played San Diego, L.A, Sacramento, San Francisco, Portland, Seattle, and a ton of other cities. Ticket sales sucked, so we canceled the tour after those first twelve shows.

 **Connor:** We released _Solemn Vow (Sweet Child), Jesus of the Back Alley,_ and _Loss_ as the albums singles. They were what the company considered our most radio friendly songs, so they asked us to make music videos for them. We did, and we hated every fucking second of it.

 **Dexter:** We didn't want to do it. We had all lost hope at that point. We'd made our album and it was a flop. That was our reality, and as depressing a reality that it was, we had accepted it. The company made us a YouTube channel, and after they were finished, they posted the videos. We were all on vacation when they posted it. We were all in Hawaii wallowing in our misery. We get a call from our manager five days after they were posted, telling us to go on YouTube and look at the figures. The videos had gone viral, and had millions of views each.

 **Connor:** We stayed in Hawaii for a couple more days before we went back home. The morning after we got home, we saw the music video for _Loss_ being played on Good Morning, America. Two and a half weeks later the album cracked the Billboard Top 10, and two weeks after that, a full year since it had come out, it was at number one. Then Megadeth's management called and asked if we wanted to be the opening act for their next tour. We said yes, and we went on tour.

**_ Question: What kind of antics did you guys get up to while on tour? _ **

**Connor:** Ha, I don't even know where to start. It'd be easier to tell you what we didn't do rather than what we did...

 **Jude:** We went a little crazy. A bunch of kids with a lot of money set loose in huge cities all around the country? Hahaha. Good times. Connor and I were definitely the wildest. Next in line was Danny, then Dex, then Calvin.

 **Danny:** We all drank a lot. God did we drink a lot. We could argue all day about who was the wildest, but that's a bit like saying one rabid dog is less violent than another it don't really matter. Jesus was lucky, when he joined up the madness was mostly over.

 **Dexter:** Hell on that first tour opening for Megadeth, we got banned from the Best Western Hotel Chain because Danny shot a pistol off in my hotel room. We still have no idea where the hell he got a pistol from.

 **Connor:** All four of us got banned from Caesar's Palace and the Bellagio in Vegas. We were banned from Caesar's Palace because we got roaringly drunk and started a brawl in the hotel bar, and we got banned from the Bellagio because Dexter got drunk in the restaurant and threw up all over somebody's table. I'll tell you, that was the Funniest thing I have ever seen in my life.

 **Jude:** Connor and Danny got thrown out of at least twenty different bars for fighting people.

 **Dexter:** We'd be so drunk that five minutes after we got on stage, I'd hear this loud ' **boooosh'** , and I'd look behind me to see that Danny had slipped on the drum riser, and is laying on his back trying to keep up with the song. We'd get off stage at the end of the night and head back to the hotel, and we'd get to our rooms, and there'd be five or six girls waiting outside our rooms. Well, by Us I mean Danny, Calvin and I. Jude and Connor are a couple, and they're all the other will ever need… or be able to handle.

 **Jude and Connor:** Oh, shut up Dex.

 **Dexter:** See?

 **Connor:** Jude and I used to think it was so stupid. Every night they'd have like three different girls apiece in there with them. We thought it was ridiculous, but then again we're gay and a couple so... not that surprising. Even then there were still plenty of people for us to choose from. We just didn't indulge.

 **Dexter:** I think our highest bill at a hotel was like $10,000, wasn't it Jude?

 **Jude:** Ya, the 10K Wreck'em All. Checked into a hotel in Detroit. Place was already expensive. Like $500 a night expensive.

 **Connor:** We destroyed our rooms. I distinctly remember cutting a hole in the floor of my room above the bed in the room below, and then pissing through it at like three in the morning. Danny busted his room's windows out, we all busted our TV's. Big plasma screens that cost like a grand apiece. We cut holes in the walls so we could talk to each other through the holes. Calvin set the carpet of his room on fire because he passed out in a chair with a lit cigarette in his hand. It was nuts. This was all a long time ago, mind you. It's different now. It's calmed down. None of us drink anymore or anything.

The one thing I did that the others didn't was try drugs. None of them knew it at the time, but I snorted coke, I smoked pot, I shot heroin. Tried acid once. Never did it again, but I did try it. Scariest fucking thing I've ever done. I ended up in rehab for almost a year and a half to get off the heroin. That is the most addictive shit on the planet. I tried it once, and the next day I was shaking, scrambling desperately to get another fix. I look back on it now and ask myself how I could have been so fucking stupid.

 **Daniel:** Connor will be the first to admit that he was the wildest, because he used his antics to deal with a few things he had buried.

**_ Question for Connor: How bad did the drug abuse get for you, and how did it progress and end? _ **

**Connor:** Bad, really bad. I think, out of all of us, I'm the one with the most unresolved issues. My dad died from a heart attack right after the first album was released, my mom and I hated each other, and I got really depressed. I tried to hide my depression and worked it out through the music. When I got money, I used it to buy stuff that could help me burry my feelings even further.

How it progressed? First it was the booze. First it was beer, then it was liquor. I added Jägermeister to my diet, and that made me even crazier. Keep in mind that Jägermeister is 70 proof, and it apparently has this opiate in it that makes certain people violent when they get drunk off of it. I was drinking a whole bottle of the stuff just having lunch, so you could imagine how nuts it made me. Then it was the weed. I only did weed until it wouldn't give me a buzz anymore. Used to smoke a doobie every three hours on the dot. It went on like that for a year. I kind of stopped after they started selling packs of joints at gas stations.

Then it was the cocaine. The first time I ever snorted a line of coke was at this really seedy club on the Sunset Strip in Hollywood when we were on a break after our first tour with Megadeth. It was the seediest bar I had ever been in. We had rented out the back room for the three nights we would be in L.A., and we had invited a couple well-known local bands, and our opening band to come party with us. About an hour into the party, the lead singer of PunkBlooD, Randy Tomas, comes up to me. PunkBlooD was our opening act, this four piece hardcore punk outfit from New York that was just completely out of control. He pulls out these two huge bags of cocaine and hands me one. He says to me, "I GOT BAGS OF THIS SHIT! LET'S GET IT ON!" I thought, why the hell not? By the end of the night I was so fucking stoned, I could barely string two sentences together. Jude was down in San Diego visiting his family, so he wasn't around to stop me.

Then it was the heroin. My mother died, and our relationship had just started to recover. I started getting more violent. That was when I was at my worst. I was drinking a half gallon of booze a day, while at the same time snorting cocaine all day, while simultaneously shooting up smack every few hours. It was at this time everybody else started noticing that I was on a downward spiral. I was spending ungodly amounts of money to keep my habits fed. And by ungodly, I mean I was spending about twenty grand a week on booze and drugs. My health started deteriorating along with my behavior, and this kind of galvanized my friends and family into acting. If Jude hadn't intervened, I would definitely be dead. There is no question in my mind that they saved my life.

**_ Question: How did the drug abuse stop? _ **

**Connor:** Classic intervention. I came home one day to find the whole family, and all of our friends waiting for me.

 **Daniel:** We were all shocked at the state he was in that day. His hair was matted, he hadn't shaved his beard, his clothes were dirty, he reeked of booze, he had cocaine stuck in his mustache and caked in his nostrils. We got a bit choked up, and Jude had tears in his eyes at the state of him. I told him, that we were all worried about him.

 **Connor:** Jude was hurting from it. I was hurting the person I loved the most, who loved me the most. Jude told me, basically, that he was divorcing me, leaving and I would never see or hear from him again.

 **Jude:** I knew that the only way to get through to him now was to go to the extreme, so yeah. I threatened to leave the band. Yeah, I threatened to divorce him and leave. It was the only way, and it worked.

 **Connor:** The threat hit me really hard. I couldn't lose Jude. I couldn't. He was the most important thing in the world to me. I begged him on hand on knee not to leave me. To reconsider. I was sobbing at this point. SO he gave me an ultimatum: Either I agreed to go to rehab, or he leaves me forever. The choice made itself and by the end of the day I was in rehab. The next day the withdrawal started, and I passed out on the bed, and ended up fucking hospitalized, because the shock that withdrawal dealt to my system was so bad, and I ended up having a kidney and liver transplant, as well as surgery to fix my ruined sinuses. I had done so much coke, that it had eaten through the walls of my nasal passages, and my liver and one of my kidneys were ruined because of my ridiculous nonstop binge drinking. I was in the hospital for three months, then the Rehab facility for a year and a half. But when I came out, I was healthy again. I was a better man for it. After that the whole band gave up their vices. We all gave up drinking. I've only relapsed once.

**_ Question: You said you relapsed once, when was that? _ **

**Connor:** *Sniff* I don't wanna talk about it. In fact, I'm not Gonna talk about it.

 **Jude:** It was at Ford Field in Detroit. We're about a half hour into the show, when Armageddon erupts. Even to this day, Connor will NOT talk about it, and it's been eight years since it happened.

 **Danny:** We played five songs, and we heard that somebody had been injured, and that ambulances had been called. Connor wanted to stop the show. He was close to panicking. But we kept playing on, at the urging of our manager.

 **Jude:** We finished the show and we went back to the hotel and went to sleep. We were told the next morning. We were told by our manager, that ten people had been trampled during the show, and that six of them died last night, and the other four weren't expected to live through the day. Connor drops to his knees, and just starts sobbing. He gets hysterical, and he flees the building, and disappeared into downtown Detroit at rush hour.

 **Dexter:** Nobody knew where he was. We had absolutely no idea where he had gone. The only good news was that three of the kids that got trampled were going to be okay. We searched the city for him for a week, before we got a call from the Detroit General Hospital, saying that he had been brought in the night before, and that he had to have his stomach pumped. My heart went into my throat when I heard that. I knew immediately what had happened, I knew that he had relapsed.

 **Jude:** We all went to see him. He was laying in the hospital bed, and he was just sobbing as hard as it was possible for a human being to sob. He told us that he blamed himself for the deaths at the show, and he should have demanded that the show be halted instead of playing on. He told us that after he ran out on us he went on a bender. He checked into a new hotel room at a different hotel, and had bought five bottles of Jack Daniel's, and three bags of cocaine. He snorted every bit of it, and he drank all of it. He passed out on the way to the hotel's ice machine, and the staff called 911. He woke up in the hospital. Even to this day, Connor will not talk about it. Just like how he won't talk about the day Calvin died.

**_ Question: What exactly happened that day? _ **

**Jude:** You're not getting much detail. We were on our way to a show. The driver of our tour bus fell asleep at the wheel, and drove us off the road. We all scrambled out of the bus, and then the bus caught fire.

 **Daniel:** We heard screaming from inside the bus, and we realized that Calvin was still in the bus. We all tried to go back in to get him out, but the fire flared. We couldn't get anywhere near it. We all were forced to stand and listen as our friend, our brother, burned alive inside the bus. We went back to San Diego for the funeral, and we got Jude's brother Jesus to join as our replacement drummer.

 **Connor:** That's all the detail you get, so fuck off.

**_ Question: What was one of the other challenges the band has faced in the past that has called the band's future into question? _ **

**Connor:** *Snort*... Haha, where to start?

 **Jude:** The Concert with Punkblood in Vancouver.

 **Danny:** Vancouver.

 **Dexter:** Hahahahahaaa... definitely Vancouver.

 **Jesus:** Van-fucking-couver. Night straight from hell.

 **Jude:** Yeah, it was the first and ONLY time we have ever had pyrotechnics in a show. Didn't go very well.

 **Connor:** We had problems from the start. First the stadium's speakers were cutting out, then the stage lights started flickering. The power went out for like ten minutes... It was pissing me off.

 **Danny:** We had been playing for an hour, about halfway through the set. During the song Nuclear Fire, I'm about to go into the solo, and then shit goes haywire. The pyro goes off, and I'm standing right over it. Basically pulled a Hetfield.

 **Connor:** We got these flashes of uh... Magnesium flames, and there like, eighteen feet tall, burn at 1500 degrees, 1800 degrees? Who knows... but there hot enough to melt a hole in the side of my car. And, Danny's just stepped right over one… We all hear the very distinct sound of strings snapping, and I turn and look and see his guitar on fire. Melted the strings off. I walk over to him and ask him "Hey dude, you alright?" He looks up at me, his eyes are bloodshot. He holds his hand up in front of his face and he's shaking, and I could see the skin bubbling and rising and blistering, and it was gruesome

 **Danny:** It melted the strings off my Les Paul, scorched the body of it. It was soooo fricken painful. I take one look at Connor standing at the side of the stage. I mouth to him "Ambulance", then I collapsed. Couldn't stand anymore, I was in so much fucking pain.

 **Connor:** He goes down, the audience is panicking, and we're all panicking. I see Jesus run to him and uh dump water on him, and I remember all I could think was, "Oh god, that's it. Our band is done. Our band is over. What the fuck are we gonna do now?"

 **Danny:** That water felt great, for a second. Then I look down at my arm and see the skin starting to rise off my arm and I'm starting to freak the fuck out.

 **Jude:** Total confusion, plus the 50,000 plus fans in the audience adding to it. It was bedlam. This is in Vancouver, thank god so people speak English unlike in Montreal, so we get an ambulance there quick. We get Danny on the way to the hospital, and once that's done I tell the crowd that we can't continue the show because of the accident, and apologized for it.

 **Danny:** I was in so much pain, and it was unimaginable, even when I was doped up on the morphine, it barely helped. And it would not stop, and that scared the hell out of me.

**_ Question: How are you all doing now? _ **

**Connor:** We're all doing great. Working on another album. We're all completely sober. I haven't been this happy in years. We're all happily married to the best people we've ever met, and Jude and I are in the process of starting a family. We're lucky bastards, you know? I lost count of how many times I've said that recently. I'm a part of an excellent, highly successful band that has been going on for years, and I'm rich off my ass. I fill my time now by buying shit. Cars. Old swords. I built a garage-sized room onto my house and filled it with shelves, and I filled the shelves with old CD's and Vinyl records. I have my own music archive like I've always wanted. I'm living the life I always wanted. I couldn't ask for more than I have now, except for kids. But that'll be coming later this year.

 **Jude:** Once this album's done, we're all going to take some time off. A bit of a hiatus. Connor and I have got our foster care licenses. Once the album is done, we're gonna do that. We're all in exactly the places we always wanted to be, and we don't plan on stopping anytime soon. We've been going hard for fifteen years, so I think this little hiatus will be good for us. But that is definitely not the end of this band. That's something that'll never end.

**_ End Transcript. _ **

 


	15. Jude and Noah

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on the synopsis for season 4 episode 3, as well as the small sneak peak we get of Jude asking Noah out in the promo. I'm well aware that some may consider it treason to write Jude with somebody other than Connor, but… well I'm gonna do it anyway.

I could not believe she had done this.

It was supposed to be a simple day. Taylor had invited me to hang out with the youth group at her church. She introduced me to some of the other kids, although I forgot most o their names quickly. We had been there for an hour, when she dragged me to introduce me to one of the councilors. He commended me for renouncing the sin of homosexuality and started babbling about redemption. I turned to Taylor and glared at her before stalking off. Now I knew why she had brought me here. She thought if she brought me here, it would keep me "straight". If she wanted that, introducing me to a councilor who basically insults my Moms was not a good strategy. It started to make me think my decision to be straight was a waste of time.

So now, here I was sitting outside of the building with my knees pulled up to my chest as I rested my chin on them, glaring across the parking lot. I was not going back inside. I felt a bubble of depression rise from the pit of my stomach. I thought going to something at the church would help me feel better, more at peace, and it has done exactly the opposite. I heard the door open behind me, and I rolled my eyes.

"I'm not going back in there, Taylor." I deadpanned, "If I do I'm gonna shout at that stupid councilor."

"Wrong person, dude." A male voice said.

I turned to see one of the other kids from the youth group standing against the side of the building. He was a couple of inches shorter than I was, and had styled dark brown hair. He was skinny, but not like I was. He was built like some of the people on the track team that I had seen. He was looking at me with an amused smirk, and his brown eyes were shining with the promise of mischief.

"Oh, hey. Uh…" I trailed off, failing to remember his name.

"Noah." He introduced, holding his hand out to shake mine.

I accepted the handshake and offered a small smile.

"Right. Sorry." I said, "Mine's Jude."

"Yeah, I know." Noah said as he withdrew his hand, "You came with Taylor."

He took a step forward and plopped down next to me with a grunt. I returned to staring across the parking lot.

"What's wrong?" Noah asked.

"Nothing." I said.

"Yeah… I don't believe you." He said.

I looked sideways at him suspiciously.

"Look, you don't have to talk to me, but I've been told I'm a good listener," Noah said, "I promise I won't judge… well, not too much anyway."

I snorted a laugh.

"Because, I get that kids come to these things for a lot of reasons." Noah continued, "Some come because they think it's a good way to meet new people and feel closer to God. Others are dragged here by their friends… sometimes kicking and screaming. Since you came with Taylor, I'm inclined to believe it was the latter."

"A bit of both actually." I said quietly, "I've been thinking a lot about religion lately. Ever since my friend Jack died."

"Shit, man. I'm sorry." Noah said as his eyes dimmed a bit, "That really sucks."

"Yeah." I said, "He was murdered. Shot by his foster father."

Noah's face was pained.

"Damn…" He said simply.

"Yeah, I know." I said softly, "It's caused me to question a lot of things. That's partly why I'm here with Taylor."

"What do you mean?" Noah asked confused.

"Well… I liked Jack." I confessed, "I liked him a lot."

"… Ooooh." Noah said as realization flashed across his face, "You had a crush on him."

I blushed.

"Yeah… I did. A little one." I admitted.

"But wait a sec, if you're gay… then why the hell are you here with her of all people?" Noah asked confused.

"… I lost my first boyfriend, Connor, a little under a month ago." I explained, "He lives in Los Angeles, and we were doing long distance. We couldn't make it work so we broke up over Skype. Then two weeks later, my new crush is murdered by his foster father. It seemed like…"

I froze, unsure of whether I should voice my thoughts. Especially to somebody who was basically a total stranger.

"Like what?" Noah asked curiously.

I sighed and continued.

"Like God was telling me he didn't want me to be gay." I finished sadly, "So I decided to try to date Taylor…"

"Okay, time out." Noah interrupted, "You're trying to force yourself to be straight? Because of some unfortunate events that all happened because of bad luck? It's not because God is punishing you for being who you are."

"How do you know that, though?" I asked.

"Because God doesn't make mistakes." Noah said simply, "He made us exactly the way he intended for us, and if you're gay, then he meant for you to be gay. He loves all of his children, he wouldn't punish us for being the way we were born to be, dude."

I looked at him for a few seconds.

"I never thought of it that way." I said finally.

"That's because you're a pessimist. I can tell that much already." Noah deadpanned, "Anyway, now will you tell me why you stomped out of there? I'm curious."

"That councilor…"

"Ah. Say no more." Noah said with an understanding nod, "Everybody hates him."

"Yeah. Taylor… she thinks that bringing me here will keep me straight, and keep me dating her." I continued, "At least that's what I think she's up to."

"Wouldn't surprise me." Noah agreed, "She's always seemed a bit off to me."

"Really? How long have you known Taylor?" I asked.

"I've know her for years. Unfortunately." He said, "She's always seemed… manipulative to me. Meddlesome, obsessive, and possessive. You shouldn't let her try to change who you are. You should be proud of yourself. You deserve to be as comfortable with your gayness as I am with being pansexual. You're gay. Own it, bro."

I turned to look him in the eyes quickly.

"Pansexual? What's that?" I asked.

"It basically means that when I look for a partner, the plumbing isn't what matters." Noah explained, "It's a person's personality that attracts me, not their gender."

"Oh… I didn't know that was a thing." I confessed, "As far as sexualities go, I only knew about gay, bi, transgender, and asexual."

"There are lots of different ones." Noah said, "My friend Colin is demisexual. It means that you're only attracted to a person if you already have a deep emotional connection to them."

I nodded my understanding.

"So, you're not straight?" I clarified.

"Nope." Noah confirmed.

"Okay. Cool."

"Yeah. Cool." He agreed.

"If you hate Taylor so much, why do you still go to youth group?" I asked after a few moments silence.

"It's the only way my parents can get me out of the house." Noah joked, "Otherwise I barricade myself in my room with my computer."

I snorted, and he did as well. His snort was followed by a giggle, and it had me smiling. Despite my efforts, I couldn't help but find his laugh cute.

"What kind of stuff do you do on the computer?" I asked.

"Well, I write short stories." He said, "Troll people on Tumblr. Watch funny videos on YouTube. That kind of thing."

"What kind of stories do you write?" I asked.

"Maybe I'll let you read some of them sometime." He offered.

"Yeah, that'd be cool." I said as I stood from where I'd been sitting, "I think I'm gonna head home. I don't really wanna stay here."

"Yeah, I don't blame you." Noah agreed, "I wanna jet out of here as much as you do."

I looked at him for a second.

"You wanna come with me?" I asked finally, "My house is only a ten minute walk from here."

He looked shocked.

"You sure that's okay?" He asked.

"Yeah. My mom's will be glad to see I'm making new friends." I said, "You could stay the night if you want. We can hang out and stuff."

"Okay then. Sounds good." He said, smiling at me, "I'll text my mom and tell her I'm going over to yours."

He texted her and then we set off. I sent a text to Lena asking her if it was okay if I had a friend stay the night and she responded immediately with affirmation at the same time as Noah's mom. As we walked, we talked. I discovered that he liked Star Wars to the point of obsession, and that he was also a big fan of Harry Potter. When I mentioned that I'd never seen any of the Harry Potter movies, he stopped in his tracks.

"What?" I asked.

"You've never seen _any_ of them?" He croaked and I shook my head, "We _will_ be fixing that. You need to be educated my friend."

I laughed at him, but found myself looking forward to the promise.

We talked about music. He was appalled by, what he called, my lack of good musical taste, and vowed to introduce me to superior music. As it turned out, his favorite band… was the Beatles.

"Seriously?" I asked him.

"Yeah. Seriously." Noah confirmed, "It should make it easier to remember your name, at least. I would have said something, but I figure you get that enough without me adding to it."

"Ugh, don't remind me." I grumbled with a roll of my eyes, "I've heard enough _Hey, Jude_ jokes to last a lifetime. Thanks for not making the joke, by the way."

"Yeah, anytime." Noah said with a nod, "I get it. You'd be shocked to hear how many times some people have made Noah's ark jokes at me."

"Oh god, that would drive me crazy." I said with a cringe.

"Oh, yeah. It's irritating as hell." Noah agreed.

"What other kind of music do you like?" I asked curiously.

"Do you know who Carlos Santana is?" He asked.

I shook my head in the negative. He face palmed.

"You have a lot to learn my apprentice." He joked, and I punched him in the shoulder jokingly, "He's one of the best guitar players there is. I'll lend you one of his CD's sometime."

"That'd be cool." I said.

Our conversation turned to video games after that, and I discovered that he couldn't stand first person shooter games, with the exception of Fallout and Far Cry.

"Why don't you like other ones?"

"What, like Call of Duty?" He asked and I nodded, "Well, they're all the same, aren't they? They're beating a dead horse at this point. There is never anything new in them. It's stagnated."

"Ah. I get it." I said, "I can't stand games like that either. The gunfire makes me uncomfortable."

"I'm guessing there is a story behind that?" Noah guessed, "Don't worry, I won't push. But if you want to talk about it, I'm here."

"It was before Connor and I started dating." I told him, "We snuck out one night t hang with Daria and Taylor. Things happened, we snuck into Taylor's house to drink, got caught and Connor got shot in the foot. It's been a touchy since. Now with the whole thing that went down at Anchor Beach…"

"Oh yeah, I heard about that." Noah said as he eyed me carefully, "You sure you're okay? I know these things can be triggering…"

"Oh yeah, I'm fine right now." I reassured him.

Soon after we arrived at my house and walked up onto the porch.

"Nice place." He complemented.

"Yeah, I remember the first time I came here." I went on.

"How long have you all lived here?" Noah asked.

"My sister and I've lived here about a year now." I said, "Everybody else has been here for years."

"How does that work?" Noah asked.

"Oh, we're all adopted." I said simply, "I was in foster care before that."

"Oh. Yeah that makes sense." Noah conceded, "I've heard some… scary things about foster care."

"Yeah. It sucked. It's in the past, and I'm… I'm not really comfortable talking about it, so…" I stammered.

"Say no more. I get it." Noah assured, "You're right. It's in the past. You're here now, that's what matters, right?"

I nodded in agreement.

I analyzed him for a moment. I found myself smiling at him for no reason, and the thought entered my mind. He was the first boy I had met since Connor that I could see myself dating. He was cool, he was understanding, he was funny, and he was nice. So, I said _what the hell_ , and went for it.

"Hey, can I ask you a question?" I asked.

"Yeah, go ahead." He said.

"I understand if you say no, but…" I said and froze.

"Go ahead." He prompted.

I took a deep breath.

"Would you like to go out some time?"

I was surprised at how confidently I asked the question, and it appeared that Noah was as well because he didn't immediately answer me.

"Like on a date?" He clarified.

"Yeah. Like on a date." I confirmed.

He thought about it for a second, and I couldn't help but grin as he started to nod.

"Yeah. Sounds good."

We grinned at each other, and the door opened to reveal Lena.

"Are you two just gonna stand out here all night?" She joked, "How was youth group?"

"One of the councilors said something that made me angry." I told her, "So Noah and I decided to come back here."

"Thanks for letting me stay the night, ma'am." Noah said.

"Of course." Lena said, and turned to Noah, "It's nice to meet you Noah. I'm Lena, one of Jude's moms."

"Nice to meet you ma'am." Noah said as he reached out to shake her hand.

"We'll be in, in a second. Okay?" I said to Lena.

She nodded.

"Hurry in. You made it just in time for dinner." She said and shut the door.

I turned back to Noah.

"She seems really nice." He said.

"Yeah she is." I agreed, "Um… what should I tell her? About us, I mean?"

"Well, tell her the truth." Noah said, "Tell her we're dating and that we're boyfriends now."

My eyes widened infinitesimally at the word _boyfriend_. I knew that it would take a while before I got used to thinking of somebody who wasn't Connor as my boyfriend. I welcomed the challenge however.

"So, we _are_ boyfriends, then?" I clarified.

"Well, yeah. That's generally what you call the guy you date." Noah teased sarcastically.

"Okay, cool. Fair warning though, be prepared to meet my siblings." I mentioned, "They'll try to intimidate you. Give you the classic _you hurt our baby brother we kill you_ speech."

"Ha. I'm not easy to scare." Noah scoffed, "I've got three older brothers. One's in the army, another is a cop, and the third is a black belt in karate. I think I've got you beat."

We entered the house and entered the kitchen, where we were met by the sight of pure chaos that was my family on taco night.

"Sorry, they're a bit nuts." I said quietly.

"My brothers are worse, believe me." Noah assured me, completely unfazed by the chaos, "You should see it when we order pizza. It's like a cage match to decide which toppings we get."

I snorted.

We took our seats at the table, and I immediately snatched two shells right from under Jesus's fingers, causing him to glare at me. I was pleased to see that Moms had remembered to get the ketchup out for me. I passed a shell to Noah, who smiled in thanks.

"So, Jude… you gonna introduce us to your friend?" Stef asked politely.

"Oh, yeah. This is Noah." I said, "I met him at the youth group thing."

After everybody had their tacos made up, the usual teasing about my fondness for ketchup on tacos started. It was almost tradition at this point. Noah didn't say anything about it.

I looked at Noah and smiled, and cleared my throat to get everybody's attention.

"Um, I've got something I wanted to say." I said.

"What is it Jude?" Callie asked.

"Well, I have good news." I continued, "And I wanted you all to know that… well, Noah isn't just my friend."

I looked around at everybody, and Lena nodded for me to continue.

"I, uh… I asked him out." I finally said, "And he said yes, so…"

The resultant silence lasted for maybe three seconds, before Jesus broke it.

"It's about time you got your crap together." He said, "You weren't fooling anybody with the whole straight act, little bro."

I glared at him, and so did Noah.

"I have to admit," Stef said, "I thought it'd take you longer to get over everything that happened."

"I don't know if I am really over it yet." I said, "Not about what happened to Jack, anyway. I'm am over Connor at least."

God, never thought I'd hear myself say _those_ words out loud.

"Well, we're glad you're happy, bubba." Lena said, "If he's gonna stay the night, though…"

"I know, I know. Sleeps on the floor in a sleeping bag, door stays open." I preempted.

"Good." She said.

"Oh, and if you hurt him, we kill you, got it?" Jesus interjected.

Noah snorted.

"You called it, Jude." He said before turning back to Jesus, "If you can get through my older brothers, the soldier, the cop and the black belt, you be my guest."

Jesus observed Noah for a second before nodding and turning to me.

"He'll do." He said.

***************

For a week, Noah and I got to know each other. We hung out as much as we could. We went to out to eat and to the movies for our first date, and it was great. Our third date was a milestone, because when we got back to my house afterwards we kissed for the first time on my porch. I had told him a lot about me, and he'd told me a lot about him. I'd told him a basic summary of my time in foster care, as well as everything that'd happened since I'd found my home and been adopted. He surprised my when he even asked a ton of questions about Connor, and what he was like. By the end of the conversation, I'd told him the whole story.

Today, he was over at my house and he was preparing to educate me on Harry Potter like he had promised me he would. He was so passionate about it, and it was cute. We were about to put in the Sorcerer's Stone, when my phone buzzed with a text alert, and I pulled my phone out of my pocket and glanced at the screen.

I did a double take as my eyes widened, because on it was something I never thought I'd see again.

"1 New Text from: Connor." The screen read.

"No freaking way." I muttered in disbelief.

"What is it, Jude?" Noah asked.

"I just got a text from Connor." I said confused as I opened the message.

"Oh yeah? What does it say?" Noah asked as a small grin split his face.

"It says: Hey, can we Skype for a bit? I need to talk to you." I read aloud.

Noah observed me for a second.

"Do you want to?" He asked.

"Kind of… I do miss him, but I don't know if it's a good idea." I said.

"Why not?"

"Well… you're here." I explained, "My ex boyfriend and my new boyfriend? Kind of awkward."

"Are you over him?" Noah asked.

"Yeah, I told you that already." I told him.

"Then what's stopping you?" Noah asked casually, "If you wanna talk to him, don't let me stop you. He was your first friend and your first love. I get that he's still important to you, and you miss him. I respect that."

"Are you sure?" I asked again.

"Jude. Yes. I'm sure, now respond." Noah said exasperatedly.

I looked back to my phone and typed a response.

"My new boyfriend is here right now. Can we do this later?" I responded.

Ten seconds later, I received a response.

"MY new boyfriend is here too, Jude. I need to talk to you. It's about Taylor." Connor responded.

I furrowed my brow.

"He says his new boyfriend is there too." I said, "He also says it's about Taylor."

"Oh great." Noah grumbled.

We'd been avoiding her since we got together.

"Yeah, we can Skype. See you in a minute." I responded to Connor.

I got up, set up my laptop, sat it on my desk, and waited for the Skype request. As soon as it arrived I accepted, and for the first time in almost a month I looked into the face of Connor Stevens.

"Hey, Jude." Connor said with a small smile, "It's been a while."

I snorted.

"That's the best greeting you've got?" I teased him, causing him to grin even wider.

Next to Connor, a new face was visible on the screen that had blue eyes, and shiny brown hair that hung to just past his ears.

I figured I'd go first in making introductions.

"Connor, this is Noah." I introduced, "Noah, this is Connor."

"Good to finally speak to you." Noah said, "He's told me a lot about you."

"Nothing bad I hope." Connor said, "This is Kyle."

Kyle waved at us, but stayed quiet. I shot Connor a questioning look.

"He doesn't talk much around new people." Connor explained, "Took him a week before he said more than three words to me."

I nodded in understanding.

"So, you said this was about Taylor?" Noah asked.

"Yeah. She called me earlier." Connor said, and he and Kyle both scowled.

"For what?" I asked.

"She basically ranted." Connor went on, "She told me that you had been questioning yourself since Jack died, and that she thought she could make something with you work."

"Oh." I said.

"Yeah. But more to the point… really Jude?" Connor questioned amusedly, "If I couldn't turn straight with Daria, what makes you think you could do it with Taylor?"

"Temporary lapse of sanity." I offered as answer.

"Well, at least it was temporary." Connor continued, "Anyway, after that she tried to convince me to get you to date her. She figures you'd listen to me if I asked."

Noah tensed.

"And what did you say to that?" Noah asked.

"Oh, I told her to shove it and go to hell." Connor said nonchalantly, "I wanted to warn you to be careful around her, Jude."

I stared at the screen in shock.

"Why?" I asked, "If anybody had a reason to want to see me struggle, it'd be you. Especially since we broke up. So why are you warning me?"

"Jude, do you know me at all?" Connor asked.

"I'd like to think I still do." I responded.

"Then you'll know why." He said, "I don't hold a grudge against you for the breakup. You were right about most of it. Long distance wasn't working anymore, and while it sucked that we had to break up, it was the only real option left. But it's like I said, we were friends first, Jude. Just because us being boyfriends didn't work out, that doesn’t mean you've lost me for good. You're still my best friend, Jude. That'll never change. You still mean the world to me, and that'll never change either. I'll always have your back, Jude. No matter what happens."

It took everything I had not to burst into tears at his small speech, so I settled for a nod.

"Now, I'm going to let you two go." Connor said, "I'm guessing you were in the middle of something."

He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at us, and I rolled my eyes.

"We were not." I said, "We were going to watch the Harry Potter movies."

"Ah, I see." Connor said with a small smile, "Don't be afraid to call again, Jude."

"I won't." I promised.

"And Kyle and I'll be in town in a couple of weeks to visit my dad, so maybe we can all hang out while we're there?" Connor offered.

"Sounds like a plan." I agreed.

Without further words, the Skype call ended and I took a shuddering breath. I stood from my desk chair and took a couple of steps away from it.

"You okay?" Noah asked as he stood.

"Yeah… I just didn't realize how much I missed him." I said, unable to stop the tears from falling, "I'm just glad I have my best friend back."

Noah smiled at me, and held his arms out to me.

"Come here."

I stepped into the embrace and hugged him back. As I stood in my bedroom, hugging my new boyfriend, I felt happy for the first time in quite a while. Everything was as it was meant to be.


	16. Jude and Noah Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A continuation of the previous one-shot. Sort of an answer to the comment about it seeming awkward and rushed (at least to me it is). A thank you for the criticism, all critique shows room for improvement. Takes into account recent confirmation that Jude and Callie will be at odds again, as well as that there will be a party and that Jude makes a very stupid decision. Takes place two months after the previous one shot. Trigger warning for mentions of bullying and attempted suicide.

"Do you think we moved too fast?"

Noah and I were sitting on a blanket, on the beach near Anchor Beach. We had spent most of our time staring out over the water with little conversation, enjoying the others company and relaxing. I don't know why I picked that time to bring up what had been bothering me.

"What do you mean?" Noah asked.

"Well… It was something that Callie said." I continued, "She said it seemed like we were moving awfully fast. She found it… weird that we already call each other boyfriend, and… that we seemed really awkward to her."

Noah rolled his eyes.

"Do you think that?" He asked.

"Well… I called you my boyfriend not ten minutes after I'd asked you out…" I trailed off, "I can see why she'd think it was a little fast."

"You did that with Connor too, though." Noah pointed out, "You told me that the day you got together, you were calling him your boyfriend before the day was out anyway, so who cares? Besides, we had talked beforehand; we knew we had things in common. We knew we got along. Everybody is awkward at the beginning of a relationship. Just because we didn't know each other for months before we agreed to date doesn't mean it was too fast. That's part of the purpose of dating, to get to know each other. We've done that, now. We've been dating now for two months and a week. I'm proud of what we've built, and I won't hear a word against our relationship. Besides, I don't think Callie likes me that much."

"What makes you think Callie doesn't like you?" I asked, wanting an explanation for the assumption even though I agreed with his final statement with one hundred percent certainty.

"Well… I overheard her talking to your other sister the other day when I was over." Noah continued, "After what happened at the party, she thinks I'm a bad influence on you."

I growled with irritation at the mention of the party. Moms had gone out of town with both sets of our grandparents for a few days, and Jesus formulated the plan to have a party at the house. It was a wild party, and somebody had shown up and they had brought a twelve pack of beer. Jesus had confiscated it, and spirited it away up to our room. Noah and I followed him, and I considered momentarily calling Moms, but Jesus offered to share it with Noah and I if we kept our mouths shut. Against my better judgment, I agreed. The three of us imbibed the entire lot of beer, and I discovered that I was a lightweight with alcohol. The next morning we all woke up with a hangover. When Callie noticed that I still smelled like beer, and that I had all the classic signs of a hangover, she completely lost it. Thankfully, Mariana managed to shut her up.

"Oh, please." I scoffed, "She said the exact same thing about Connor more than once. Her calling you a bad influence means that you're doing your job right as my boyfriend. Just because you drank that night too, doesn't mean you forced me to drink. I made that decision for myself, and yes I'll admit it was a stupid decision. Besides, she has no room to talk about bad influences and bad choices. She's worse than I am. She's a hypocrite. She has no right to lecture me about this when she's done things a thousand times worse."

"Yeah, I guess." Noah said quietly, "I just… don't like feeling like I'm causing a rift between you and your sister."

"It's not your fault." I said with finality, "Callie and I have always fought a lot. We spend more of our time at odds than we do at ease."

"Seems exhausting." He said.

"It is, but what can you do?" I brushed off, hiding my displeasure at the truth of the statement, "Everybody who's opinion I value approves of us. Moms like you, my brothers like you, Mariana adores you. Even my dad likes you. So don't worry, okay?"

"Yeah. Oh, speaking of Connor, you heard from him lately?" Noah asked pleasantly.

I smiled, happy that conversation had turned to a much more pleasant topic. Since reconnecting, Connor and I had slipped back into the grove of our old friendship seamlessly. We called and Skyped at every available opportunity, and it felt great to have my best friend back. While I freely admitted that I still loved Connor a great deal, it didn't feel the same as it used to feel during our relationship. It wasn't romantic love anymore. It was remarkably similar to the fraternal love that I felt for Jesus and Brandon. I'd even called Connor 'bro' a few times, and he'd gotten a kick out of that and encouraged it, calling me brother in return.

"We talked last night, yeah." I confirmed.

"How is he?"

My good mood deteriorated and I sighed.

"He could be better." I said, "He and Kyle are fighting a lot, and apparently a couple of new kids started at his school and they've been giving him a lot of shit."

"Oh, damn. That sucks." Noah said, "What are he and Kyle fighting about?"

"Connor's sports mostly." I said, "Kyle feels like Connor doesn't have enough time for him after all the sports, and it's made him mad. Connor's sports mean a lot to him, and Kyle is basically all but demanding he give them up and put him first. Connor told me he's thinking about ending things with him."

"Sounds to me like Connor isn't really… ready, for a boyfriend at the moment." Noah said.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Well… maybe _not ready_ wasn't the right way to put it, but I can explain what I mean." Noah said.

"Go ahead." I said.

"Well, you two broke up because of long distance and the fact that you felt like you two were no longer friends because you never really talked." Noah continued, "You told me that you felt neglected because his sports took up so much of his time that he had no time to ever come visit you. And now the same thing is happening with Kyle."

"Yeah…"

"Now, Connor should do what he wants, don't get me wrong." Noah continued, "But, it almost seems like he'd be happier single with all his sports than he would be with the alternative."

"I see what you mean." I said carefully, "I don't know if him being single would even help him. He doesn't seem happy. He seems… miserable, to be perfectly honest."

"Why are they messing with him?" Noah asked.

"Why do you think?" I said.

"What, because he's gay?" Noah asked outraged, "He's lived there for months, and nobody's ever had a problem with it before! What's their problem with it now?"

"You know how if Connor loses a game he sometimes kind of sits in a daze for a bit brooding about it?" I asked, and upon receiving a nod I continued, "One of the new people joined the football team, and after they lost a game they were all in the locker room afterwards. Connor was brooding in a daze, like he does, and he wasn't paying attention to where his eyes were pointed. The guy starts freaking out and accusing Connor of staring at his ass. Connor argued with him and stormed out. They've been treating him like shit since."

"Even the team?" Noah asked.

"Yeah. Even the team." I confirmed, "I think they only tolerated him being gay because he could play football really well. After this, they've been treating him like he's gonna try to molest them or something."

"He's their fucking teammate!" Noah spat, "He wins them half of their fucking games! He's probably the best player they have, and for them to show him such a show of disloyalty… It's a fucking disgrace."

That was another thing I'd discovered about Noah. Loyalty meant a great deal to him. If you were disloyal to your friends, family, or significant other than you were lower than the nastiest scum in his book.

"I know." I said softly, "It pisses me off too."

"Well, tell him if needs us we'll be there." Noah said finally.

Another week passed, and Connor seemed distant. He would still respond to my messages, but it was only with responses of a couple of words. He wouldn't call or Skype and it was worrying me. It made me feel like something was wrong. Another week passed, all contact from him had ceased completely, and I knew something was very wrong.

My assumption was proven correct on a Saturday afternoon during lunch. The whole family was sitting around the table eating, and Noah and I were engaged in a conversation with Jesus when we heard a knock on the front door. I stood and went to get it, and when I opened the front door to stare into tired, red-rimmed hazel eyes, my mouth dropped. The figure before me was slumped, and his shoulders were shaking with the effort to repress the tears that threatened to fall. He had a black eye, and his dirty blonde hair was a wild mess. Behind him at the bottom of the steps, I could see a man and a woman standing and watching worriedly.

Connor Stevens was on my doorstep, and he looked exhausted. He looked like he hadn't slept in a week. It registered that Adam, and Connor's mother Elizabeth, were here together as well, which was a massive shock because I knew they could barely get along at all.

We maintained eye contact for a moment longer, and I could sense that Noah had entered behind me.

"Connor…" I gasped, "Oh my god… are you okay?"

"Connor? Jesus, what the heck happened to you?" Noah asked alarmed as he stepped forward.

Connor didn't respond.

"J-Jude." He whimpered.

I stepped forward wrapped my arms around him, and his body sagged with relief. He buried his face in my shoulder and the floodgates opened and the sobs commenced.

"Connor… it's okay. I've got you. You're okay, calm down." I tried to soothe, but his sobs only intensified as I rubbed his back comfortingly.

I could tell by the sharp inhales behind me that the family had joined us. I shifted in our embrace and directed Connor towards the living room and sat him down on the couch. Connor clung to me, and he was mumbling incoherently. It took him a half hour to calm down, and he could barely keep his eyes open afterwards.

"When was the last time you slept?" I asked, "You're exhausted."

"I-I don't k-know." He confessed quietly.

"You need to get some sleep." I said softly, "Why don't you go upstairs and take a nap? You need it."

Connor agreed, and I walked him upstairs to my room. He collapsed onto my bed, and I put a blanket over him.

"Thanks, Jude." He said quietly.

"You're welcome," I said softly, "Get some sleep, Connor."

"I c-can't go back there, Jude." Connor mumbled, "Not a-anymore."

"You won't have to. We'll talk about it later, okay?" I offered, "Get some rest, bro. You're safe here. You always will be."

"I know." He muttered sleepily, "You'll always be my safe place, b-brother."

I smiled gently at both his calling me brother, and about me being his safe place. It meant a lot to know that even after everything Connor still trusted me so much to keep him safe. I sat with him until he fell asleep, and within three minutes Connor's breathing had slowed and he had fallen asleep. I got up and exited the room, closing the door behind me as I went. I leaned my back against the door and took a calming breath. The next emotion I felt was anger. Anger at whoever caused Connor to be in this condition. I growled and stalked down the stairs into the living room where Noah, my Moms, and Connor's parents were waiting.

"How is he?" Adam asked.

"Asleep." I said, "Now please tell me why the hell he's in such a sorry state?"

"Jude…" Lena said warningly.

"No! I'm mad!" I shot back, my voice rising as I turned on Adam, "My best friend… no, my brother, just showed up at my house looking like he'd been through a war! I want to know why! WHO DID THIS?"

"Jude… calm the hell down." Noah said sternly, "I know you're pissed but this isn't helping. All yelling is going to do is wake Connor up, and that's the last thing he needs. Let's all sit down, calm down, and then we talk."

I glared at Noah for a minute, but he narrowed his eyes fiercely at me and I backed down. We all sat down, and I glared at Adam for a minute.

"Okay, I'm calm." I said stiffly, "Now talk. Why is he like that?"

"The last month and a half, hasn't been easy on him." Elizabeth said softly.

"He said that much last time I Skyped with him." I said, "He said that things sucked. Said he was being bullied…"

"It wasn't just bullying, Jude." Adam growled, "What those bastard kids have been doing to him is evil! He was forced to quit all of his sports because his teammates were harassing him. All of his new friends have deserted him. He's gotten into fights. He's even received death threats on Facebook. A week ago, things finally came to a head…"

I stared at Adam, aghast. I had no idea things had gotten that bad.

"What happened?" Noah asked worried.

"He took a shower after gym." Adam said, "A bunch of punks hid his clothes and stole his towel. They took a video of it and put it online."

"They WHAT!?" I screamed, leaping to my feet, "They posted a video of him naked online!?"

Noah's hand shot out and latched around my wrist tightly. I looked back at him, and he shook his head and pulled me back into my seat.

"Let him finish." Noah said sternly, but I could tell he was just as angry as I was, "There's more isn't there?"

Adam nodded, and I nodded at Adam to continue. I noticed that Noah had his phone in his hand and was fiddling with it. I knew he was doing it to keep his hands busy.

"We didn't find out about it until the next day." Adam continued, "Elizabeth had called me and said Connor was acting strange and that she might need my help, so I drove up to L.A and got a hotel room for the night."

"The next day, I got a call from the school telling me that I was needed immediately." Elizabeth said sadly, "When I got there they told me that they couldn't find Connor anywhere, and they explained about the video."

"Where was he?" I asked.

Adam and Elizabeth shared a look, and it was a look that filled me with dread.

"Jude, you have to promise us that you're gonna stay calm." Adam said gently.

"Why?" I questioned sharply, "Where was he?"

Adam sighed sadly.

"He… he was…" He tried to say but he stammered to a stop.

"The r-roof."

Our heads turned to Elizabeth.

"He was on the roof." She said tearfully.

A dull thunk was the only sound any of us heard after that as Noah's phone hit the floor.

"What…?" I stammered, "He… he wasn't…"

"Yeah. He was." Adam whispered brokenly.

"No… Oh, god. Nonononono." I whimpered as I leapt to my feet and started pacing around the room.

"We had to talk him down." Adam continued shakily, "We took him to the hospital afterwards, and they kept him on 72 hour watch. First thing he said afterwards was that he wanted to come home with me. Him and I stayed in a hotel down here while we got him all moved back in at my place, and the first thing he wanted was that he needed to see you. So, here we are."

"What's he going to do?" Noah asked.

"Well, like I said, he's moving back in with me." Adam said, "He can't stay in L.A after what happened, and he's agreed. He'll probably be going to a public school until he can get back into Anchor Beach."

"I'll figure something out." Lena interjected.

"Yeah, I'm just glad he's okay." Stef said.

"Don't be ridiculous." I snapped, "Did you see him, he's far from okay."

I took a deep breath in a desperate attempt to calm myself.

"Please tell me that they will suffer for what they've done?" Noah asked dangerously.

"The ones who posted the video were arrested." Adam said, "Since Connor is a minor, the video was considered child pornography and was taken down immediately, but…"

"But everybody had already seen it." I finished for him.

"Exactly." Adam finished.

"Those… monsters." I growled, "How dare they? He was finally happy where he was, and they destroyed that. What about the school? Didn't they try to stop it?"

"The school basically did nothing." Elizabeth spat, "We thought about suing but Connor told us he didn't want us to. Said it was too late and wouldn't do any good."

"He's right." I agreed, "We need to focus on him, right now. Keeping him safe. Making him feel better."

"You'll do better at that than I can." Adam said, "He's been over the moon bout you two being best friends again. He called me right afterwards and he'd never seemed happier. If anybody can keep him cheered up it's you."

He was smiling fondly as he spoke, and it was then that I could see the changes in Adam that Connor spoke of with pride.

"Nobody's gonna hurt him again while I'm around." I promised, "I won't let them. I take care of my friends."

"We both do." Noah agreed.

On the outside, I was perfectly calm. On the inside, however, I was furious. How dare they do this to him? I resolved to put my anger aside and focus on helping Connor. He would need it, from all of us.

Revenge could wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you think. Leave kudos, comment, and leave requests for one shot ideas you'd like to see me do.


	17. Jude and Noah Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuation of previous one-shot.

Connor did not wake up that day.

It soon became obvious just how tired he was, when everybody in the house failed to wake him up after trying in a variety of creative ways. After blaring Guns N Roses in his ear failed to rouse him from his slumber, everybody finally gave up and left the battered boy alone. After all, he was finally back in a place where he felt 100% safe, and it was clear that nothing was going to end his slumber until he was good and ready to awaken on his own.

After dinner, while Connor continued sleeping, Noah and I sat on the porch in silence. Noah held my hand firmly in his, rubbing the back of it with his thumb.

"Do you think he'll be alright?" Noah asked quietly.

"I don't know." I answered truthfully, "God, he… He tried to commit suicide, Noah. If they hadn't talked him off the ledge, he'd have jumped. He's broken. They actually did the impossible and broke him. All we can do now is try to put him back together."

"Yeah." He said.

"I'm sorry about all this…" I said.

"Huh? Sorry about what?" Noah asked.

"The drama." I said simply, "There's a lot of it in my family. First you've gotta deal with my sister glaring at you constantly, and now you're stuck helping me take care of my semi-suicidal ex-boyfriend…"

"Hey, I knew what I signed up for." Noah deadpanned, "You warned me after my first dinner with your family that things were nuts. I knew that. If I cared, I would have bailed out. Besides, I know that Connor is very important to you. He was your first friend, your first love. He's your best friend. He calls you _brother_. From what I've seen of him, he's a cool guy that's been dealt a shit hand."

"Yeah, no kidding."

"I'll be there to help with him." Noah promised, "He's important to you, so he's important to me too. I'm actually really looking forward to getting to know him."

I smiled at him and put an arm around his shoulder, tucking into his side.

"You're a really good guy, you know that?" I asked.

"I don't know about that…" Noah said with a shrug, "But I do try my best."

The next morning, a full eighteen hours after falling asleep, when we were all sitting at the table for breakfast, Connor padded into the kitchen timidly with his eyes downcast. His hair was sticking up in every direction and he was walking with a slight limp. Silence fell as all conversation ceased, and awkwardness permeated the air. Noah stood from his seat and scooted over one, allowing Connor to slide in to the one in between us. I shot Noah a thankful look, which was received with a nod. Lena stood from her seat and walked around the table to give Connor a quick hug, which he melted into and he quickly clung to Lena.

"Welcome home, Connor." She said.

For the first time since he arrived, Connor smiled. It was tiny, almost non-existent, but it was a smile nonetheless. I flashed momma a thankful smile and a mouthed thank you.

"Thanks, Lena." Connor whispered.

She pulled back, and pushed a plate in front of Connor.

"You should try eating something, honey." Lena said, "At least a couple of bites."

He made himself a plate, and we all went back to eating. As the conversation around us recommenced, I looked at Connor out of the corner of my eye. He seemed more rested, as was to be expected from sleeping for almost a day. He was picking at his food. He was staring at it as though it would attack him if he tried to take a bite. I nudged him with my shoulder to get his attention, and he gave a slight jump at the contact.

"You okay?" I asked with a whisper.

"Y-Yeah. I'm okay." He said quietly.

"Try again," I retorted softly, "I can still tell when you're lying, and I'm worried."

"I'll tell you after breakfast." He promised.

After breakfast was over, Noah and I dragged Connor back up to my room.

"I don't think I actually introduced myself properly, last night." Connor said as he turned to Noah.

"Connor, I already know you." Noah pointed out, "I've Skyped you with Jude plenty of times."

"Yeah, but that was over Skype." Connor said, "Meeting somebody in person is different. So… I'm Connor. It's nice to finally meet you in person."

Connor held his hand out, and Noah shook it with a small smile.

"It's nice to meet you in person as well, Connor." Noah returned.

"Okay, now that that's out of the way, are you okay Connor?" I asked, "You barely ate anything, and if I remember correctly, you usually eat nearly half your body weight at breakfast."

Connor snorted at my weak attempt at our customary banter, but sobered quickly.

"Yeah, I just wasn't hungry." Connor said with a sigh, "I've lost my appetite a lot recently."

"How frequently?" Noah asked.

"I can never stomach much of anything." Connor said, "I take two bites of anything, and then I can't stomach to eat any more."

Noah and I shared a look.

"That's not normal." Noah said slowly.

"It's nothing. I'm just not hungry much anymore." Connor said, sounding like he was trying to convince himself as much as he was trying to convince us.

"I'd still see a doctor about it." Noah suggested, "It might be nothing, but if it is something, we don't want it to get worse. It could be an eating disorder or something. Got any other symptoms?"

"I've been getting headaches recently." Connor said tiredly, "But other than that, nothing. I think I just need to relax, get used to being back in San Diego again. Relax, relieve some stress, have some fun. Be happy again. Either of you got any ideas?"

Noah and I shared another look. We decided to allow the change in subject.

"Um… *throat clears*, well I know what I do to relieve stress, but uh, you two can't exactly do it." Noah said.

"Why? What is it?" Connor asked.

Noah looked at me and quirked an eyebrow to ask permission. I knew what he was asking.

"Go ahead." I said.

Noah reached into his pocket and withdrew his wallet. He opened it up, pulled something out of it, and handed it to Connor. Connor took one look, and his eyebrows rose to retreat into his hairline.

"A… medical marijuana card?" Connor asked confused, "You smoke weed?"

"I've got severe anxiety around crowds and new people." Noah said, "My mother got me the card. She wanted me to have something natural instead of a prescription drug. It does help."

"Yeah, well you are right about us not joining you." Connor said and handed the card back to Noah, who immediately replaced it in his wallet, "Stef, Lena, and my parents would kill us."

"I wouldn't let you anyway." Noah said seriously, "I could get into big trouble if I did."

I noticed that Noah left out the small detail mentioning that he'd let me try it with him on multiple occasions, but I let it slide. What Connor didn't know would not hurt him.

Silence fell, and we all just sat and let it envelope us. The silence continued for a further five minutes before it was broken by Connor.

"This is so surreal." Connor mumbled, "Back living in San Diego, hanging with my ex and his new dude."

"It really is." I interjected with a snort, "I'm not complaining though. It's good to have you back. I missed you, a lot."

"I missed you too… I feel bad, though." Connor mumbled, "I kind of caused chaos by just showing up…"

"Connor, you know that you'll always be welcome here." I countered, "I'm glad you're here. I just wish it wasn't under such grave circumstances."

"Grave circumstances." Connor repeated dryly, "That's one way to put it. Clusterfuck is a better way to put it though."

Noah snorted.

"And there's the dry wit Jude's told me so much about." He joked, "He's told me a lot about you."

"Nothing too terrible, I hope?" Connor asked.

"Mostly good, yeah." Noah confirmed.

"I'm glad." Connor said.

I stared at Connor for a minute. He looked so relaxed, and safe. The question that had been needling me all day resurfaced, and this time I vocalized it.

"So… do you mind if I ask you a question. About us?" I asked.

Connor looked somewhat shocked. Noah looked curious.

"Um. Go ahead, I guess." Connor said.

"Were you mad? After we broke up?" I asked.

"Huh? Oh, uh… Not really." Connor confessed, "I mean, yeah, I was sad, and I cried for a bit, but that's it. Sometimes relationships just don't work out. I knew that, and I accepted that. Did it still hurt? Yeah. But… I understood."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Well… you were right about one of the things you said." Connor said, "About us not feeling like friends anymore."

"You think so?"

"Well, yeah. After I left to L.A, I never came back." Connor continued, "Not even to visit dad. I neglected you, and as a result, our relationship fell apart. But I do disagree with you about us only getting together because we were the only two gay boys in our grade. We WERE friends first. Even if I had been spoiled for choice in potential boyfriends, I would still have chosen you. I fell for you because you were sweet, kind, and the best friend I'd ever had. It had nothing to do with us being the only two."

"I know. I can see that now… I just couldn't at the time." I agreed sheepishly, "I regretted saying it as soon as we ended the Skype call."

"That was about the only thing I was mad about." Connor said, "It made me feel like everything we'd been through together was worthless."

"I-I'm sorry. That wasn't my intention." I said softly.

"I know it wasn't." Connor assured, "I'm here now. We're good. That's what matters. I'm lucky you know. Despite all my screw ups, all my flaws… you still haven't given up on me."

"I'll never give up on you, Connor." I said gently, "I was broken without you around, and this past month, with getting to know you again… I have my best friend back. I got more than that. I got a brother out of it."

Connor smiled at me, and I noticed that he was holding back tears. I reached out and pulled him into a hug. Noah placed a hand on Connor's shoulder and squeezed.

"You're family, Connor." I said softly, "When they told me that you tried to… when they told me about the attempt, I wanted to go up to L.A and burn that place to the fucking ground. If you EVER get to that place again, you can come to me… No, I NEED you to come to me. Or Noah, or Moms, or the siblings. No matter what time of day it is. If it's in the middle of the night, I'll still be here. We will ALL still be here."

"I know you will." Connor said equally soft, leaning into the hug, "I trust you more than anybody. I always will."

Another short silence followed, and Connor pulled out of the hug.

"So… what do you think of Noah?" I asked, smirking teasingly at Noah as I asked.

Noah blushed, and Connor looked thoughtful.

"He's caring." Connor began, "You can tell he cares about you. That's important. He's selfless, and he's kind. He's gentle, but not afraid of getting angry when it's needed. I will admit that I was a bit iffy at first on the religion thing and his mom being a pastor. Sorry Noah."

"None taken." Noah waved it off, "It's understandable."

"I was worrying for nothing, though." Connor continued, "He's not afraid to call you on your bullshit…"

Noah and I snorted.

"I don't know what you mean." I said, feigning innocence, to which he simply raised an eyebrow.

"You know that you can be a handful sometimes." Connor teased.

"Especially when you get dramatic." Noah added, "Or when you lose your temper and try and go marching off to exact revenge."

"Okay, I get it." I conceded with a pout.

"Aw, is Judicorn getting grumpy?" Noah teased.

As I unleashed the full force of my most evil glare upon my boyfriend, Connor tensed and turned to him.

"Are you insane?" Connor asked, "The one time I called him that he threatened to force feed me my aluminum baseball bat."

"Unfortunately, Noah is like Mariana in the regard that my threats have absolutely no effect on him whatsoever." I growled.

"You are a much braver man than I am." Connor said.

"I don't see why you hate it so much." Noah retorted, "It's cute. You're cute. It fits."

"Noah, word of advice." Connor said, "When it comes to that name, flattery will get you nowhere."

"I know, I just don't care." Noah said with a shrug, "Besides, I'm convinced he secretly likes it."

And while that might be just a tiny, nearly microscopic bit true… I would never admit it aloud. Not even under threat or pain of extreme torture.

The three of us sat and talked well into the evening. Noah and Connor got along famously, and I was glad to see it. It felt good to see the two boys who I loved more than anything in the same room, and getting along like they'd known each other for years.

It would be an uphill fight in many areas, but with us by his side… Connor would be fine.


	18. Season 2 Episode 19 AU Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A continuation of One Shot #11.

It has been five years since that night. Since the night we all snuck out. The road has been long and hard fought, but we have made it this far without shattering completely. Jude and I were still together despite the challenges, despite the fights.

Within two days of our deal with Daria and Taylor, things were already better. Upon discovering that Jude and Taylor were "dating", my dad had apologized for his efforts to ruin our friendship and once again allowed me to hang out with Jude as much as I pleased. Naturally, I took advantage of it, and soon our sleepovers had resumed. Of course, while my dad was blissfully in the dark about the true nature of mine and Jude's relationship, Jude and I continued to grow closer.

Stef, Lena and the siblings were the first people we told about our relationship, and Daria and Taylor's statuses as our respective beards. All of them swore that they would do anything in their power to help us cover up the truth from my dad. Stef and Lena tried to at least _act_ uncomfortable about hiding it from him, but the act fell apart completely before they had even finished the sentence. There were rules, of course. We weren't allowed to have the door to Jude's room closed unless Taylor, Daria, or one of the siblings was with us to make sure we didn't get up to any mischief.

We managed to hide it at school until the beginning of freshman year. Jude and I were getting sick of hiding it at school and around my other friends and we decided to come out as a couple at school. The day before, I pulled the baseball and soccer teams aside and told them. Since the people on both teams were very good friends of mine, they agreed to help Jude and I in confining the news to Anchor Beach and not allowing it to reach my dad's ears. Since I am really well liked at school, and because I had two sports teams acting as Jude and I's personal security force, our relationship was well received. It soon became common knowledge that when it came to Jude and I, what happened at Anchor Beach was meant to stay there. It kind of helped that my teammates got overzealous and implied retaliation if word reached beyond the walls of Anchor Beach.

I regret nothing.

As time passed, our group grew.

The first addition was Jack.

The first time I met Jack the first thought that ran through my mind was that he was the single goofiest guy I had ever met in my life. When we hung out together, all he ever wanted to do was play XBox or listen to music. He had a minor crush on Callie for the first few months we hung out, but he got over that and switched the focus of his attentions to Taylor. Strangely, after only a few days, Taylor agreed to go on one date with him. The next day, she reported that she had agreed to a second date because Jack was, and I quote, "That dork is probably the sweetest person I've ever met". Stef and Lena grew to adore Jack, eventually agreeing to permanently foster him when he was nearly beaten to death in his then newest foster home. Christmas morning of our freshman year, almost two years since Jack went to live with them, Stef and Lena turned to Jack and offered him a small package.

Inside was a large envelope, containing a small stack of papers. Jack read them, and as soon as he realized that the papers were the petition for adoption, he collapsed into hysterical tears. Months later we all stood in a courtroom, as Jack became an Adams Foster.

The next person to join our group was Noah.

He became our friend about two months after Jack. Noah and I got off to a rocky start. Jude and I had only met other gay people at the LGBT prom we went to in seventh grade. Naturally, given how needy I can be, I felt threatened and got possessive. When Jude and Noah confronted me over it, I admitted my feelings. Noah reassured me that he wasn't after Jude, admitting that he just experienced a breakup and wasn't looking for a new relationship yet. The next day, we found out about his medical marijuana card. When he asked if we wanted to try it, I immediately shut it down because I would be ineligible to play sports if I got caught, and I didn't want Jude doing it either. That was the last time I heard about it, and soon Noah and I were getting a long a lot better, and eventually he just became another member of the family. Sure, Dad really didn't know what to think of him, but he didn't try to stop me from hanging out with him. Noah was the first openly gay boy he'd ever met, and by my standards, Dad handled it pretty well.

I'm hoping that that attitude has continued, and even improved because the first day of our senior year of high school is tomorrow, and we're all excited. Right now, however, I stand in the kitchen, gripping the counter in a white-knuckle grip, because I'm about to finally come out to my father and I'm fucking terrified. Absolutely terrified. Now, my dad has gotten a lot better about the whole "gay thing". Due to what he perceived as my close "friendship" with Jude, he'd been all but forced to interact with Stef and Lena on a much more regular basis. By the time our freshman year was half over, the three of them had formed a pretty decent friendship of their own. When the holidays come around, like Fourth of July, Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas, we all get together at one of the houses and have a massive barbeque. Because of their friendship, Stef and Lena have been slowly changing my dad's mind about the subject.

Fingers snapped in front of my face, bringing me out of my thoughts.

"You just gonna stand there all day, kiddo?"

I looked at my dad, who was staring at me with exasperation.

"No, I was just… thinking." I said softly, "Lost in my thoughts."

"You alright?" He asked.

"Yeah… I think so." I said.

"You think so? Are you trying to convince me, or yourself?" He joked.

"Maybe both." I said.

He snorted, and plopped down into his recliner with a sigh.

I sat down on the couch.

"Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"I need to talk to you." I started, "About something important."

"Go ahead." He said.

"Um… do you remember when I was in seventh grade?" I asked, "And uh, you tried to stop me being friends with Jude?"

"*Sigh*. I think I know where this is going." Dad said.

"Somehow I doubt it…" I started to say.

"Really?" Dad snarked.

"Yeah. Really." I said as I took a drink.

"Oh, okay." Dad said, "Then it isn't about how you and Jude have been dating behind my back since you were thirteen?"

I promptly spat out the drink I'd just taken.

"Jesus Christ, Connor, really?" Dad laughed, getting out of his chair to retrieve a towel from the kitchen, "Did you have to do a spit take?"

"I couldn't exactly help it!" I sputtered, "You KNEW? All this time?"

He looked at me for a moment.

"Well… not the _whole_ time." Dad admitted, "I realized it about halfway through the summer after your freshman year."

"How?" I asked.

"Well… Stef and Lena's steady brainwashing was one sign." Dad said with a small smile.

"Dad… I'm being serious." I said frustrated, "How did you know? Why didn't you tell me that you knew?"

Dad sighed.

"Connor… I know that I fucked up with you and Jude." Dad said bluntly, "I'll admit it. I fucked up. I don't want to even think about how I acted, about the things I said and the things I thought back then. I was ignorant, I was horrible, and I regret it so much. The only reason I've been so much better is because Stef and Lena have helped me. When I realized the truth, I went straight to them. Asked them what I should do, how I should handle it without screwing it up. They told me to be patient and wait until you came to me. So, that's what I did."

"So… you're okay with it?" I asked timidly.

"Connor, if I wasn't okay with it…" Dad started to say, "Well… I think we both know the answer to that one."

We sat in silence for a minute.

"So… what made you realize it?" I asked.

"It was the way you and Jude looked at each other." Dad said softly, "You two… you look at each other like you're the only two people in the room. You always have. Stef and Lena are the same way with each other, and so were your mother and I… at the beginning. It was the Fourth of July barbeque. You two snuck off on your own, and I followed you. I was suspecting already, I thought you were sneaking off to, well, fool around."

"Dad… no. Just, no." I said firmly.

"Yeah, point taken." He agreed, "Anyway, You two were sitting in the grass. Not doing anything, just sitting there. You had your arm around him, and he was leaning his head on your shoulder. You asked him if he had any idea how much you loved him and kissed the top of his head. He told you he loved you too and you kissed the top of his head again. I stood there watching, and I… I couldn't remember the last time I'd seen you that happy, and I realized that I'd almost ruined that for you. I went back inside and found Stef and Lena. They told me they'd known since the beginning, and had been watching over you both. Later, after everybody went home, and you were asleep, I locked myself in the garage and cried for about an hour."

I stood up and gave him a hug.

"I tried to make it up to you." He continued, clinging to me, "I tried so hard to never say anything that would make you think I'd be upset when you told me. Whenever Jude was over, I turned a blind eye to everything that was obvious, and I let you have your door closed. Also, I uh… do you remember how a couple years ago, I fell out with your grandfather?"

"Uh. Yeah, why?" I said as I pulled out of the hug, still reeling at the influx of information.

"Well… I went over to watch the World Series with him, like I always did." Dad continued, "One of the players missed a hit, and your grandfather called him a slur… the f-word. You know which one; I'm not gonna say it out loud… And, well, I snapped. Shouted at him. It sparked an argument. I didn't mean to tell him about you; it just slipped out in my anger. More things were said, so I punched him and then I stormed off."

I stared at him for a second longer.

"You stood up for me against grandpa." I said, "I… I don't know what to say, Dad."

"You don't have to say anything." Dad said, "I'd do it again if I had to. For all of you, Jack and Noah too."

I sniffled.

"Thanks, Dad." I said, my voice breaking, "You have no idea how much that means to me."

He drew me back into a hug.

"Just know that you're safe here." Dad said, his voice carrying a promise, "You and Jude, the others. If ever you need safe haven, this house is open. And… just know that I'm so, extremely, proud of you. Gay or not, you're still my little boy, and that's never gonna change."

After that, it was impossible to hold in the tears.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys liked it! Leave comments telling me what you guys think, and leave prompts of what you think i should write (no smut).


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